I just want to be happy with myself and be happy with my body
I became ill with m.s 13yrs ago.
so the drs give me pills to help with the pain but I got fatter and fatter
to the point I wont to end my life.
so I went to bed early one night with all my tables. and I tock them all .
but the next morning I woke up the some time I wake every morning.
so I had to make appointment to see my gp.
when I got to see him that day I told him what I had done the night before and I need my tablets […]
SP could use a little (relevant) Pantera…
“Getcha Pull”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjMDDN6MsPQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWiEqMAaMTM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgjCyNKimFU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDoNQTxxjP8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yKtqjkZpdA
(note: all of these have “lyrics in description” on the yt page, and i /recommend/ reading them)
(note-2: you may notice most of these are from the same channel; i just discovered this person’s channel, and it seems rather good, for this type of stuff)
I suppose i could/should have just made a playlist… oh well.
God exists in man
Men created in one image of a singular god
A god all surrounding
Granting man one singular gift in life
This is the image of evil
You messed with my heart.
I can no longer be your friend.
You say your sorry, but your not… You’re only saying those things for her.
She cares,  she’s my friend.
She knows you hurt me.  So she told you to say sorry.
You say you’re cruel but I don’t think so. You were so nice.
But I have to say goodbye.
I don’t really talk much about my suicide attempt but when I do, I get choked up and cry. She didn’t know much about it but today, at her house she happened to be looking through my blog and read what I wrote on my day back from the hospital. I couldn’t even look at her. She held me as I cried, and she did nothing but hold me for a while. I don’t know how she does it. How she can be around me, someone so broken and torn between life and death all the time, and still manage to fucking smile. How she […]
so some guy  told me to put my story up here and wait for reactions on it before i do anything.
why not.
here’s my fucked story:
i am Jeroen Steeman. i am currently 17 years old, and i live in a small village in the netherlands. my life is garbage.
i used to have a happy life tough. lots of friends i hung out with. two awesome older brothers. a happy mom and dad. then my mother got multiple scerose (that’s the dutch name for it anyway) and lost her shit. all the joy that once exsisted in our family life just got destroyed. both my brothers moved […]
My name is praful raj.
I am suffering from torture of this world.
I came on this earth on 24th april 1995 at 8:10 PM (GMT 5.50).I was born in an Indian state i.e Andhra Pradesh in Telangana region in a city named HYDERABAD.
I want to commit suicide because my mother,father and brother hates me.
BUT i still love them.I am a hard worker.I study very hard to get *** marks.But my family wont support me and they always discourage me.They say me that i dont have any caliber or intelligence.They always join me in an institution in which rote learning is preferred.And i hate rote learning.They dint […]
no, I dont cut. No, I wasnt abused. I’m sorry if you have been.
In 5th grade I started taking pills (amphetamine) and some for sleeping. I started getting really skinny, never eating, never hungry. I turned pale and gaunt, my parents thought I was anorexic. I couldnt explain to them that I just wasnt hungry (a side effect of amphetamine) so I lied. A lot. “yea I ate a sandwich when you were gone.” I hadnt. Ya this wasnt bad, i was a pretty happy kid, just really skinny. Then 6th grade rolled around and i weighed around 60 lb for the first half of […]
It’s been a long year.
Well, almost a year.
The last time I posted anything on here, I was in a semi-good place with my life and I was slowly getting stronger. The depression was lessening day by day and I was coming to realize that my life wasn’t really as bad as it could be.
I was on the road to recovery.
Since then, I feel like I’ve taken 5 steps forward and 10 steps back. That is why I am back here, to complain about the tiny little mishaps in my life, and some of the big ones. To let you- my beautiful online world of strangers […]
I love my wife and Kids, but I am as low as I have ever been.  I lost my job, and this forces us to move to a new town.  My wife resigned her job, my kids 7 and 5 will enter new schools and we will be on my salary alone.  The pressure is killing me.  I have never been so close to ending it all.  I have a new job, I have a good new job, it’s hard for me to see it.  I’ve been so low for so long.  My kids bring me joy, that’s why i don’t end it all.
I feel […]
Since I sold my car (that my wonderful ex bought me when I completed a depression rehab stint) I told my therapist that I woulnd’t be able to attend our sessions anymore… She of course rebuttled saying “No Ma’am, we can FaceTime chat instead”. Faaantastic.ÂÂ
So I just spent the last hour (and $250 bucks) lying through my webcam about how much better I’m doing. And no, those arent boxes in the background of my room that I’ve packed up for my departure! Ha. Whether she bought it or not at least I have the rest of the night to listen to […]
To whom ever says they know me
If I didn’t want to live
Here is what I’d give
I’d give the breathe that fills my lungs
The food that will taste sour to my tongue
I would give the wayward mind I have
The undecided and unknown path
I’d give up everything
If I didn’t want to live
If I didn’t like humanity
Understand without unnecessary pity
We are overly selfish and dramatic
Obnoxiously annoying and spastic
We dwell to long on things I want forgotten
Too many people assume how I’ve gotten
If I didn’t like humanity
Perhaps I didn’t want to live
If I didn’t like myself
Here is the basic line up on the shelf
I am pudgy to others […]
I can’t believe I let my manipulating ex back into my life! All he does is use me. My best friend/sister has been gone for over a month and I have no one else. I was weak and vulnerable, and he took advantage of me.
My family, needless to say, notice nothing. My dad is too busy with work, my step mother is a self ***** and my grandparents and aunt prefer my younger cousins over me. My mother hasn’t tried to contact me sine Christmas 2011.
The pain is eating at my insides, but I have no way to let it out. I used to cut […]
Just wondering how affective this is. Obviously fatality is the key here. Apparently when used with alcohol, effects are heightened. Never taken this before but can probably obtain it. Thinking of taking a concoction of a medley of sleeping tablets, alcohol, painkillers and this stuff. Bam.
Hi, nobody’s even gonna read this but I guess it’s better to let it out.
I’m Lara, I live in the UK. I have a loving family, good friends and a pretty great life. I have a lot more than I need and i’m very grateful for what I have. But something just isn’t right. For two years now, i’ve been having thoughts of suicide and have been inflicting pain on myself. I don’t feel the pain anymore. Around the time I started having these thoughts, my friend was diagnosed with slight depression and bipolar disorder but her mood swings were far less severe than mine. […]
Oklahoma This Is For You!
To help
If I won the lottery,
I would feel free;
I’d give it all to you,
Because it’d be up to me.
I don’t care how much the cost,
Don’t care how many there are;
Whether you’re nice, mean, in between,
I still hope it would go far.
Houses torn down everywhere,
People have no place to stay;
They could only sit and watch,
As their homes just blew away.
Kids were at the school,
Trying to take cover;
As it began to hit,
They were protecting one another.
Some didn’t make it,
Broken hearts all around;
Let’s take a moment of silence,
And please no make a sound.
Losing a loved one is painful,
Something everyone can feel;
Too bad […]
I’m so tired.
I’m tired of telling myself that my life worth living.
Just wait. Everything will be alright. You will survive.
But no.
I can’t take it. Not anymore.
I’m so tired of my mother.
“Don’t open your mouth you’re little stupid shit.” I’m sorry but I’m 18 I’m not little silly girl.
‘”You’re not going to achive anything in this life”. Okay.
”You’re fucking useless I’m so tired of you.” I’m sorry.
“I’m just worried about you and your future.” Hell no if you cared you wouldn’t say things that always let me down.
I’m just so t i r e d.
I agree with my mother, I know that I’m useless and […]
I’ve read lots of posts here over the last two years..
It seems like there are a lot of failed attempts..
so, without any ill intentions on my part..
Do random things just go wrong or something?
I’ve always been too scared to try because I know myself..
I’m a VERY huge perfectionist.. not toward others, just things I do..
So I know very well that I will not fail if I try..
That’s why I’ve never tried because I still have a small small hope..
and as long as I still have that tiny hope(even if that same tiny hope
feels so hollow or totally gone some days), I won’t try it yet..
So […]
…that maybe what makes me stay is knowing that I can go whenever I want or feel like going!
…that that gives me Peace and Strenght to go on!
…that suicide thoughts matured me enough to look around like I was already dead!
…and that I feel like a spirit most of the time…
I’m happy this way, I don’t want to belong!
I’ll surf  Life’s waves as they approach me…
<3 u all, blahh
It’s been a long time… I’m just so ready for it to just…end.
I’ve reached a new low. A low, where the first time in my life, the cutting isn’t enough. The distractions, the stories… even my art has become dull and lifeless. Leaving the house is painful. Seeing so much happiness. It hurts, so much. And the stares, the rumors. I pretend they don’t bother me, but when I’m alone, their words are sharper than any of my knives. I found this movie, stumbled on it, really… And it seems so stupid.  So fake- but I love it. The idea of finding a world….a place […]
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