so I kind of ruined my family a bit and I can’t seem to stop… I don’t want to hurt anyone but I told my mom that I wanted her to apologize sincerely for not being there to support me whenever I went through disciplinary trouble, and that I can’t move on until she does. Long story. Anyway, since the incident happened yesterday it feels like time doesn’t exist. There’s no future, barely any past, but everything is the present. I cut myself 20 times yesterday and I’ve been steadily taking painkillers since 3. I don’t even take pills. I don’t think I’m going to end […]
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need someone
Wow the last time I posted on here I was 14! I’m now 18 and I can’t really say that things are better. Well since 14 I’ve attempted suicide 2 and cut myself on numerous occasions.
Heres my story I’ve been with my current partner for 14 months and it hasn’t been the greatest at all. He severely bashes me and makes me feel like nothing. He never trusts me and always calls me names I don’t feel loved or safe. I live with him at his parents place with his brother and sister also and they never seem to do anything when they hear me […]
What happened to suicide?
What happened to everyone?
It’s like I’m in Jr. High.
Where did the heart go?
Diversity?
This place isn’t home.
My family gone.
I’m tired of watching as everyone focuses on juvenile topics.
When there are people like me, and others that need more attention than others.
Yet everyone doesn’t care.
They say they do.
If they really did, then I don’t see it I haven’t for several weeks.
See, people like me are left in the shadows as everyone parties.
When that one heart felt, blunt comments could save one of us from falling off the edge.
You say you miss someone when they trun up missing, but do you really?
If they come back […]
I’ve struggled with depression, insecurity, and severe anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember. My first appointment with a therapist occurred when I was 10 years old, I’m currently a sophomore in college. My depression comes and goes but I feel like it’s just been around for a while this time and it’s worse than ever before. I’ve never really struggled with suicidal thoughts, until just recently. The thing about it is: I do not want to die, I just have no desire to live. I don’t truly believe I could go through with killing myself, but I can’t stop thinking about it. […]
Sometimes I feel like you’re just with me because you’re loney and need someone to talk to when it comes to you, but when I need you, you’re not there for me you just say, oh, I’m sorry, but then theres times I feel like you’re actually with me for me but that’s very rare now.. Like when you get mad that i don’t reply or call but that’s because I’m doing something or helping someone but you still get mad regardless which is something I don’t understand but you can do it to me and not expect me to get mad or cry.. […]
I’ve struggled with it for so long. I thought that loneliness was something I had to protect myself from. I spent so much time putting up walls that I didn’t realize it was coming from in me. It wasn’t seeping its way into me, because at my core and my karmic debt, I am loneliness. I don’t deserve to have people who cherish me.
I’m not enough. I’ll never be enough. I can’t save people. What good is someone like that? I keep trying though. I find people who need someone. Someone to fill that place that sits somewhere behind their heart. They only need me […]
I know I don’t mean anything to any of you, but I just need someone to know how scared of myself I am.
I continuously have dreams in which I end up dying, more often than not, by my own hand. I’ve jumped off buildings, jumped in front of moving cars, slit my wrists, overdosed, etc. I day dream and lose myself in suicidal role plays threatening my sanity. I wish I could turn off my thoughts for a day. I wish I could stop getting lost playing scenarios like pornography to an addict. Am I addicted to the thought of my death? Do I desire […]
I went into the store tonight and bought some sleeping pills. I’ve done this before. But tonight feels different. I want to do it. But I’m scared. But I don’t want to live anymore. You see, I was raised a Christian. Tonight, my mom found out that I like girls. Well, I’m a girl. I had to tell her due to the fact she found out I skipped work tonight.. So I was already in trouble for that….. She asked me why I skipped and I tried to explain with the usual there was drama at work, but she wouldn’t let that be all. Probably […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
First off I am sorry Monster for you.
So yeah, lately I did became more calm and a degree under happy, rather satisfied. I have everything I need here, no work, no other people.
Speaking of people, I really feel like being asocial, I don’t wanna see anyone, don’t wanna talk and it is just fine to be honest, I have everything at home to be entertained so yeah.
Second, I guess this varies from guy to guy but I had like a maturation phase in some days, I rarely think about having a girlfriend now, even disliking the idea of having one. Which is keeping my head […]
So um, I guess I am kinda new here, ok? But eh… I kinda need someone to share this with. It’s been eating me for so long now.
So uhhh first, a bit of background: I am an “artist”. Which means I am a talentless amateur who can’t even draw a stick figure right! But whatever.
Have you heard of that site “deviantart”? It is frankly terrible. I frequent it.
So 2 years ago or so, there was this… it was kinda like an RP group. I was bored so ehh let’s join it. But applications were closed and you had to wait and they had a chatroom […]
i just need someone to hug me and tell me it gets better.. please.. this hell is killing me
im not really sure what im expecting from this i guess
maybe someone to relate to? im not sure anymore, i just need someone
im completely lost and torn between wanting to live and wanting to die
i’m a 15 year old female from scotland, and honestly, all i want is a friend
Today I made a big step and went to the doctors.
My day has been awful at work, I was told I couldn’t help out an extra day because I apparently need someone with me to ‘support’ me. This is how they treat me. They see only my disability.
Hello,
Ill start this post off by descriping what type of person I am. Physically fit person who never judges and always forgive. Always going out of my way (physically & emotionaly) to see people improve in there current situation. I act as a theorpist to people who need someone to talk too, giving them good advice making them feel like they have a chance. I would say im that person you would always smile at, never fear. Extremly logical, always keeping my self in a realistic and calm state of mind. With every person meet I would gain […]
Its 3 am here. I can’t sleep. I want to die. I want my wrist to be cut open, my head to burst. Everything feels so heavy.
I am 21. Everyone around me have an idea of how their future will be. I don’t. I don’t see much farther. I see my suicide. And then its all black. People Plan for their future, I plan for my suicide.
There are no solutions to my problems. Suicide is actually the best way out. All I need to do now is plan my suicide.
I want my suicide note to be perfect. No loose ends. I want everyone to […]
I’m thinking about going back to therapy/counselling, as a way of trying to resolve my suicidal thoughts.
It’s not so much that I want to change, more that I want to clarify what I’m living for, and if that’s really a good choice.
I keep telling myself that suicide would be a terrible thing to do to my parents, and that my life’s not really that bad, but all it takes is a few days at work to make me miserable, and I start feeling like I can’t go on anymore. It’s become a weekly cycle.
I guess I’m looking to resolve those conflicting feelings – either to […]
Where to go from here?
It’s all started when I lost my job. It’s kind of my dream job. A game tester. Stay at home, wake up, power up the PC and start doing my work. It’s a fun job. But like any other job in creative industries, be it game development, animation or film making, when there’s no demand, there’s no money. So around 20 people being laid off.
It’s all going downhill from there. I lost my will to live. I applied for other jobs almost instantly. But I stopped. I stop looking for a job. I stayed at home. Playing games. Put on a […]
I’m currently a sophomore in high school. I have a few great friends. But ever since high school started, I’ve gotten extremely tired. I’ve always possessed a hatred for school. Not that I hate learning or anything of that nature, I love learning. Right now I’m participating in a rigorous educational program (IB Programme) at the top of my class. I perform exceptionally well on exams and assessments, usually with little studying or review, if any at all. I turn most of my assignments in on time, but the workload is immense. It does stress me out, just like it does all of my peers, but it doesn’t help […]
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