so I decided to invite 5 friends over
xanny #1
xanny #2
xanny #3
xanny #4
and xanny #5
5 good friends for a lonely night.
Tag:
night
Hi I am Adam here is my story.
Growing up I never really had a father or even father figure in my life which is pretty shitty but I am sure it happens to a lot of people. My mom and dad divorced before I can remember so it’s always been me my mom brother and sister. I was about 7 my brother 10 he had just broken his collar bone so his arm was in a sling we had bunk beds and I had top bunk I had jumped down and accidentally hit his arm which was an ACCIDENT but my dad being the […]
I tried to write something meaningful, but my head hurts so fucking bad that I’m afraid I must retire for the night. Goodnight everyone. Sleep well if you can.
I don’t know how to even begin with how I feel. My heart has been running on overdrive and I’m seriously on E. I can be fine one afternoon or night to turn around and be in agonizing pain the next. My heart literally hurts. I never thought heart break could be so agonizing.
Ive written my goodbye letter. There’s nothing I could say to my family and friends. They wouldn’t understand. They all right now tell me to give it time, leave him alone. I just wish he would talk me down from this ledge I’m on. I’ve called, emailed, texted, Skyped. He ignores me […]
I ran out of a burger shop last night. I was all set to gorge on some grade “A” Canadian ANGUS beef, but then I saw that the cashier I (kinda) like was working that day. She smiled and waved at me, even though I was all the way at the back of the line, and so I freaked and got out of there. I’d love to take her out, but I’ll never have the courage for anything more than nervous small talk, with her or with anyone; I’ve only ever dated girls I met online. Not like it matters anyway since I’m such a […]
im so tired life is getting heavier and heavier my thoughts are getting worse and im so sick of bad thoughts. my medicine doesnt work at night.
My life is a collection of twisting, winding paths. Most are dark, lonely, stormy, fiery, and led me to anger, hatred, pain, sorrow, loneliness, and fear. But there was this one particular road, full of colorful roses on either side, and led me to warmth, light, hope, beauty, content, laughter, smile, love and happiness. To know that once upon a time, I walked down this path under the warmth of the pretty blue sky, danced under the rain, and prayed under the thousand stars of the summer sky. That once upon this path I ran with laughter across the green pastures, and as I dozed […]
I feel much more comfortable during night time, I don’t know why exactly. It is silent outside, I don’t have anything that I have to do, just sitting in front of the computer doing one or the other of the many things computers let you to do. Of course it is just an escape from my mind and thoughts, but it is a good feeling. Night is almost over though. I wish the night never ended, that relaxed/relieved feeling never ended. I hope tomorrow won’t be a bad day…
And that night, I turned my face towards the wall and cried. For the first time in my life I hated Shone. Hated him for blinding me, for tricking me into foolishly believing that life is a beautiful field of roses… that love is a wondrous bond. Hated myself for the choices I’ve made. Hated for being born. Hated my body for functioning normally. Hated everyone around me. Hatred surged through my veins, hot and angry, pulsing with every breath I take.
I want to die. I have to die. I will not stand another day, another night. I will not enter the hellhole in […]
Everyday now you hear stories of people who are so upset, depressed tortured, bullied, and how they in their lives so shortly and swiftly and how everyone around them is so effected by their choice and how cruel and selfish they were to take their lives as they did. Honestly, I can’t help but feel like they are the lucky ones. They’re the ones who’ve realized what to do how to help themselves they know their way out. People have always said that suicide is a sin. I want to make it very clear that suicide is not a sin. God would not so harshly […]
I’ve lost everything, my friends, my sister, my happiness. I use to be the happy person that would high five everyone in the hallway, the person you could count on. “Your the problem” “your not good enough” “why would I wanna hang out with a freak like you’ is all I hear now. Rejection and misery welcome me like my blanket at night. My friend’s all turned their back on me, and my sister, the only family I felt I could actually talk to and enjoy, is gone from this world, now all I have is my yorkie, I went into homeschool because the bullying […]
It was around 7 years ago I tried to end it all, I was a single mum and couldn’t cope anymore. I was lucky as my parents would have my daughter over night once every two weeks so I could go out. I loved to go out and drink and drink until I felt numb, I abused myself and my body I let men use me for sex. One night though I’d just had enough I couldn’t do it anymore I couldn’t live with myself for what I was doing i was drinking everyday I never ate I smoked weed aswell. People started judging me […]
6 months ago my best friend died. She had an asthma attack in the middle of the night. That is what put me over the edge. Before that my dad died in a car accident. When my best friend died my life spiraled. That same month I went to two other funerals. I started taking drugs to help me sleep. I had a short circuit. I blew up on my mom. I went to stay with my grandparents for awhile. I just feel like I’m being forgotten. At lunch my friends don’t notice if I’m not there, my family doesn’t mind that I hide in […]
I don’t even know what to feel anymore I’m just kind of, numb. I’m pushing everyone away from me and refusing to talk about what’s wrong when I’m asked. Day 1 almost down of no eating, day 2 almost down of another sleepless night. After going a few months without cutting I dug the blade into my thighs yesterday and again today. I layed in the bath and just bled. Like it was the most normal thing in the world, no pain just emptiness. I have an doctors appointment soon and I don’t want them seeing my thighs. I don’t feel a thing but I […]
I wish I would die, that my body would just give out or some freak accident will happen to take me out. I’ve wondered if I could go to a bad area at night and coax someone into shooting me in the head. I feel like placing personal ads saying it’s a last ditch effort before I kill myself, because people need to be taught a fucking lesson about not completely fucking with others feelings.
As the title states. Within the week I’ll be dead. I just need to make sure I get last minute things taken care of before I go. I have a few attempts in the past. Wrist cutting never did the trick no matter how deep I went. I’ll hang myself this time. I have the rope already set up at a perfect length for a drop hanging. And I know where I’m going to do it. I have hopes and dreams like most people. I unfortunately will not have them fulfilled. I am ex military, married but separated and had 2 girls with my wife. […]
Okay guys I have a confession. I’m addicted to SP! It has been so much more active and so many new stories have been shared even ones that have made me smile and giggle a bit! You guys are bringing me happiness and it’s nice to be able to share these things with you all! I was having a really shitty night/morning but after sitting here and reading comment after comment and story after story my mind hasn’t gone to it’s regular negative state and instead I’ve felt more positive and happy inside just by seeing how caring and humorous you all can be. Thank […]
I am a girl who is 19 years old. For years I have always contemplated suicide. I have physically harmed myself in many ways, including hitting my head against stuff, punching walls, and cutting up my hands. Recently, I have been thinking into deeper matters. Life usually is supposed to get better, right? Doesn’t occur in my case. Regardless of what goes on in my life, no matter how positive I am in all situations, nothing ever good happens. Yes I hear the whole it gets better speech, everything anybody can name and all the stuff from the books. I’ve heard personal experiences and all […]
I think I’m the reason I can’t have nice things. I break everyone good who comes into my life. Fuck you very much to the doctors and nurses who “saved” me that night in the ER in November 2011. You should have let the benzos finish what they’d started.
Yesterday wasn’t the best day, and neither was today. I might have lost 3 friends over my mistake that I made.
I was supposed to go to an amusement park with my friend today but I refused to go out of fear. I feared being left out again. She ignored me at dinner last night to talk to my sisters (or at least it felt that way). I just boiled over and got angry, ran upstairs and cried. I didn’t say anything to her when she came up to get me. Just put a smile on my face and continued on.
When today came around I told […]