night shift again. it’s currently 1:30am and, to no one’s surprise, i can’t sleep. also my finger hurts quite a lot.
today i finally had some alone time before work though, which i highly appreciate. i’m rarely by myself these days. maybe that’s why i like the night time; because everyone but me sleeps.
life has been very weird recently, but i don’t know why. probably because i’m trying to be a responsible adult who always makes good choices and doesn’t do stupid stuff, as if that wasn’t my life 7 months ago. the issue being just /trying/ to grow up. i think that’s something […]
today i was expecting to get home and find everyone asleep again, but it wasn’t the case. for a second, i thought they were waiting for me, but as it turns out, they just lost track of time and were planning on going to bed at about 9pm. not surprising.
today my fingers hurt a lot, and me having to constantly wash dishes and such at work doesn’t help. I’ve always been clumsy and i use band aids very often, but I’ve never had 4 at the same time on my hands; it looks kinda funny, actually. i can’t type very well though, but meh.
i just got home from working, and it’s 11pm. normally, my brother waits for his wife to get home and then go to bed, but i guess it’s only for her. they’re both asleep. i guess they don’t care, and i don’t blame them for that, nor am i mad at them. i just found it a bit sad.
in other news, this morning was very difficult for some reason; having said this, i was really struggling to not harm myself. i managed somehow, but at work i did get hurt many times, though not on purpose. at least i don’t think so.
life has […]
Human’s Imagination / Humans’ Imagination / Humans Imagination is better than Reality
Movie / movies is better than reality / real life / real world
Video game / games is better than reality / real world / real life
Novel /novels is better than reality / real-life / real-world /
Sci-fi / Science-fiction is better than reality / reallife / realworld
Fantasy is better than reality / real world / real life
Anime / manga is better than reality / realworld / reallife
Dream / dreams is better than reality / real-world / real-life
I hate reality !!!!
Reality it’s all about MONEY !!!!!!
Reality is BORING […]
i wish harry potter was real really exist , i wish fantastic beasts were real really exist , i wish magic was real really exist , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist
because reality is boring , mundane , and limiting limited
because real world is boring , mundane , and limited limiting
because real life is boring , mundane , & limited limiting !
reality is all about MONEY !
real-life is all about Money !
real-world is all about Money !
Life is boring , mundane ,
movies is better than reality real life real world !
novels is […]
I’m 17. I can hear too many things going on in my head but at the same time I feel blank. I love life but I hate life. Everything is so confusing and I feel a lump in my throat when I try to explain what I really want, so I thought I’d type it.
I don’t want the life that everyone is told to follow. Working behind a desk, getting large sums of money for rotting away in a grey, dull workplace and consistently working for a force that marginalises freedom. I want freedom. I just wish I could run through endless green fields that […]
I hate reality ! reality is boring !
Doctor Strange is better than reality !
Marvel MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) is better than reality !
Avengers is better than real world !
Sword Art Online is better than real life !
Virtual Reality is better than boring reality !
video games is better than reality real life real world !
movies is better than real-world real-life reality !
novels is better than real-life real-world reality !
anime manga is better than boring real life real world reality !
comics is better than boring real world real life reality !
Why Human’s Imagination is much better than […]
Ever since I was a little girl, living was an issue. I’ve wanted to die since I was 8 yrs old. My mother was/is evil and doesn’t have feelings like most people do. Common traits of a Sociopath; she would have a lot of sex with a lot of people just so she could feel something… Or at least I tell myself that’s the reason why. She married my dad while she was still married and had 2 sons with someone else. My dad didn’t know, but her first husband soon found out and divorced her. My dad in turn raised my two older brothers […]
Here you go.
I’m passing the fuck out now.
Night all. See you on Sunday.
ICP. Because of course ICP.
Hi HDS!
Are these better for painting than the one from last night? 🙂
April 4th, 2008 I met the boy who i knew would be the one i want to marry.
It was the Spring Fling dance at Live Oak Park in Temple City, CA. It was filled with 6th, 7th and 8th graders. I was in 7th grade and one of my good friends and I wanted to see who could dance with the most guys that night. So i went around and started shaking my butt for 3 seconds on random boys. At the end of the night, i was talking to a boy who i thought was cute till i found out he was in 6th […]
Good night everyone.
Wishing you a great rest of your day/night with a picture of my town, here in Florida.
You may not see me too active in the next few days due to work but please do reach out if you’d like:
Kik: H4UOK
Email: suesyd . nomore at gmail . com
Facebook: Suesyd Nomore
Stayed awake most of the night.
I am in a dark brainspace for awhile.
I wrote this.
Sometimes my angsty pieces are a loud shout, and sometimes they’re merely a whimper, like this.
.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Locked-Away.mp3
.
I call it “Locked Away”.
Meaning, the things I need for my personal peace and joy have possibly been permanently locked away from me.
Reality is boring
real-life is boring
real-world is boring
not like movies, comics, novels, anime manga, video games !
also,
I hate Humans , Humans suck
I hate Human , Human suck
I hate Humanity, Humanity suck
I hate people , people suck
Most humans / people only think about Money ,
and this reality is boring !
reallife is boring !
realworld is boring !
people / humans are so shallow, superficial, stupid, ignorant
Humanity is hopeless
if there is God , then God is boring !
even Science is boring too !
Science fiction (Sci-fi) is much more interesting than real Science facts !
why […]
It’s been a really long day. My mind is fried. Night all. I leave you with Lantana.
And Lorde. Her voice is mind boggling.
In my dreams, every night, I am back at school (it’s been nearly 10 years.) There, all my defences crumble, and I am confronted with my deepest fears. My peers can finally treat me with the contempt I deserve. No need to hide how pathetic, repulsive, or worthless I am. None of the kindness or tact that you find in real life. Everyone is completely callous, if not actively malevolent. I am an other, an outsider, to be sneered at, laughed at, and rejected. Everyone is against me, and I am powerless to escape or change the situation. Even the teachers despise me – I am […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Buzz-Fall.mp3
.
Stayed up all night long writing this.
I had an ocean of black coffee yesterday, plus I probably took more Tramadol than I should have (yeah, I know. I know).
So as long as I was in that weird kind of headspace, I decided to write some music, just to hear what that part of my brain sounds like.
Apparently it sounds like a snake charmer had a drunken affair with a nervous kangaroo.
Weird.
Morning sp, just a thought regarding something I saw on tv recently. Â There was a football game on that was going to be dedicated to an ex player who took his own life. Â They had one of his kids friends there, and she said, “it was important to show support for her friend whos father had died from depression, and we should look after each other before things get bad for them”.
She mustn’t have been any older than 10, Â and already showing a wisdom beyond her years. Â I was so impressed with everything she said, now if the rest of the world can catch up, […]
Took one pill the night before to calm my nerves. Guess it was a bad one, made me vomit all day long. I couldn’t stomache anything, let alone my 16 pills. Try again this Sunday I guess
For about six weeks, things were actually going pretty good. I found a job, after six months without full-time work. I started running again several days a week, which clears my mind and stabilizes my mood in a way that nothing else can (I can’t swim, for instance, and I hate lifting weights because of all the pauses where my thoughts can creep back in). I went two whole weeks without wishing I was dead, for probably the first time in a couple years.
And then a week ago I hurt my knee and had to stop running. A few days after that I got into […]