There’s a voice in my head i never can ignore.
I hear it every single day, and right now it seems like i want to hear it more.
It sounds appealing to my ears because my soul is gone.
I wish that i could draw closer cause it’s a sweet song.
It calls my name day and night like it is next to me.
And i can almost feel it cause this pain is stuck inside of me.
I swear that one day I’ll pull the trigger to escape this trap.
So i can stop breathing while i take a never ending nap.
Nightmares stay […]
Tag:
night
I hadn’t properly drank for over three months. It’s not like an achievement, the chance just hadn’t come up recently. I guess it has pros and cons. It’s good that I don’t go out on the lash every night, but then when I do drink I have to make up for the lost time. It’s a bad way of handling it, I mean I could just not drink at all.
But, the thing about drinking is it’s similar to that at feeling I long for to not feel anything at all. You can just lose it all, not have to care about stuff, it’s addicting.
It was just me […]
Gaze so distantly
Into the night
Walking around
Without a fright
Too much blood
Spills forth from me
Red and crimson
why can’t we be?
You are my love
The only one
Yet you flit away
Like a beautiful dove
When I hear your name
Oh, I don’t know why
I feel all tingly
On the inside
Are we star crossed lovers to be?
Because every single time
That we ever meet
I seem to get coldfeet
Sitting there
In your alcove
You seem so lonely
I wanna hold you close
Don’t really know where to start. Maybe where I got so drunk the other night, possibly the drunkest I’ve ever been, nearly attempted, and also fell on the sidewalk cutting up my entire body and face, which had people asking questions. Or maybe with someone who doesn’t bite their nails much, I have none left to bite. Or maybe how I sleep the absolute minimum now, maybe two or three hours a night, if at all. My sleeping patterns have been especially messed up, even on taking extra strength Advil PM doesn’t knock me out. I thought all my stress from school was the root […]
Kayla Silverfox: Do you know why the moon is so lonely?
Logan: Why?
Kayla Silverfox: Because she used to have a lover.
Logan: You tell this to the kids?
Kayla Silverfox: No.
[Logan laughs]
Kayla Silverfox: His name was Kuekuatsu and they lived in the spirit world together.
Logan: Oh, this is a true story.
Kayla Silverfox: Mm-hm. And every night, they would wander the skies together. But, one of the other spirits was jealous. Trickster wanted the Moon for himself. So he told Kuekuatsu that the Moon had asked for flowers; he told him to come to our world and pick her some wild roses. But Kuekuatsu didn’t know that once […]
Hi there. This is my first post. I joined a weeks or so ago to try and help others. I’ve tried to help people all my life. Seems to be the only thing that gets me through. I wasn’t really going to make a post, but tonight I feel like I should. Not really sure if it’s a rant, or what it really is. Just need to say some things.
I’ve been depressed a lot of my life. Seems just haven’t always seemed right. I wouldn’t say it was severe, but it’s definitely been there. I was in a 10 year relationship since I was 13 […]
I try to be a really good person. I enjoy doing things for people, especially strangers, to make them feel good. I hugged a random girl crying on the phone the other day. I’ll compliment random people’s outfits, makeup, or hair when I get the chance and overcome my anxiety. I have a friend I met at college named Jess and she is the nicest, sweetest person I think I know. I wonder what made her that way. The fact she helped me out when I needed it most, barely knowing me at the time. She’s pretty much always there for me. She drove me […]
Last night i tried to hang myself.
I did evrything right. No one was home, took the rope, tied it perfectly on the support. And did a slip knot on the other end. Put it across my neck and jumped. I felt myself going unconsious. And them black. All i could see was blackness. A few minutes later i regained consciousness. Evrything around me was moving, couldn’t even stand up. After like 10 mins or so i stood up and realised that i somehow managed to get myself off the noose. And my head swollen, neck swollen too, and my face it was like all the […]
Two years ago I was almost strangled to death by my boyfriend. I have never been the same since that night. I hate myself I hate myself so much I just want to die and I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I’m not me
I haven’t been on here in a while… OK so 4 weeks ago we (me, my mom and 2 brothers) left our house. My mom’s boyfriend was back in drugs and was drinking every night and coming home and would fight with my mom. He got into a fight with the neighbor and the neighbor busted his head open, My mom had enough. So we left and have literally been staying wherever. It was really hard, especially when trying to do your school work and try to get the thought out of your head that you don’t have a home, and friends would make fun […]
I seriously want to kill myself. More than anything. I said last night that I don’t think I deserved to live and his response was “Who are you to judge who lives and who dies”. Surprisingly that may have just proved how useless I really am. I am much more of a burden than I am worth. I hate myself. I hate the way I look. I hate the way I speak. I hate my unbreakable habits. I wish that at the very least I could cut deep enough to seem legit, but all I am is a superficial, self absorbed, burden on the earth. […]
Lately I’ve been slowly hating myself and wishing harm on myself less and more so moving those feelings and urges towards others. I have PTSD, which causes anxiety at times and just the other day a couple people pointed out my anxiety and how it makes me seem like a timid, pathetic little thing. Let me tell you something. If you grew up with an alcoholic father who abused you physically and mentally while your other family members turned a blind eye (no matter how many times you stuck up for them when they were being abused)… if you were raped when you were only […]
this has become ridiculous, im not sad anymore im just angry.. why must i bare the burden and fall apart while he roams the night…
i am dreadfully tired of explaining time and time again why i am angry, WHY CANT YOU SEE?! its YOU, its always ever gonna be you. i love you with all that i am, you are my family, my world, my everything, youre all i have left in this life so imagine my disappointment when i hear on more than one occassion from the people in your life that i should watch out for you the most, that youre my greatest […]
So, does the question remain
Ah, sweet melody
I need to study, to talk about my life
So we can put the puzzle together
The daredevil night, my heart sinks at the bottom
I will do that needs to be done
To maybe someday, you’ll see
Falling down to be
My heart sinks to the bottom
Like the raining sky
I will go far away, and bring everything back
The music is not over
Permaculture
Little brother and Minotaur
And my best friend, his name, is Mecton
And he’s got two Pythons and likes candy and he’s my homie
Walking back together, thrashed by the […]
He did it to me again. Last night, he saw the intent in my eyes. And he trapped me.
Showered with loving kisses, pleading words for me not to go. A couple years ago I would have considered myself lucky, to have found someone who yearns for me to live. I now know the truth of it all.. love is selfish. Each kiss he plants on my body is a new shackle tying me up to this life. Every inch of my body, covered in thorned threads, adorning me with love and blood, imprisoning me to this very existence. “Don’t leave me..” he whispers. “You promised […]
I’ve been suffering from the disease of depression for a while- my brother had it, my mom had it, and now I have it. More than once have I contemplated my suicide- I’m worthless, unattractive, stupid, mean, unloved, and pathetic. However, I have tried and tried and tried to look for ways to do it and I always come up without an answer. Clearly for me, the best way to go is consumption of pills- there are plenty of those in my house. However, I have heard of liver failures and such, and I’m so afraid that dying will be painful. I don’t want to […]
I’ve fought so hard and I just can’t fight anymore. The pain has too strong a hold of me and tonight I hope to blow my brains out and be released from its grasp. I will post an update should I be unsuccessful. Good night and hopefully goodbye everyone.
i tell you everyday how i feel, i scream to get you to look back at me as you walk away. i tell you that you are my strength, my everything yet every cell in my body is telling me that i am wrong, that had you really cared you wouldnt have abandoned me, you wouldnt take away in one day what you had given me over four years and ten months.
i cry myself to sleep every night, i wake up in the mornings unable to pull myself together and face another day. the sun is too bright and the dull days are too soul […]
I don’t know how to handle life and all the feeling that come with it anymore. Every morning I wake up with anxiety and deal with it all day and I lay in bed for hours wishing I could just stay asleep forever. I don’t know what ive become, ive pushed all of my friends and family away. I don’t know how to talk to people, but most of all im so lonely and heartbroken, and I have been for so long. every girl I meet once she gets to really know me she runs away from me. the first girl I ever had a relationship […]
I really feel like I am finally ready to do it