This will be my last note to everyone. I lay awake waiting for something to happen, waiting for someone to text me, waiting for forgiveness, waiting…. That’s all I’ve done with my life. I’ve been waiting to end all of this. Everyday I wake up, I go to school because it’s easier not to think there. I’m sitting at a table where no one wants me there. I’ve gave up with wanting to fit into a group. When I’m not there no one thinks about me. No one loves me enough to call them theirs. Theirs no place for me here. I started thinking about […]
Hi, I’m a filthy, retarded, creepy, transgender (male-to-female) emo noob and I deserve your contempt, whether I feel I deserve it or not is completely irrelevant -_-
I’m not the only one that wakes up every morning and is quickly, and brutally, hit with the feeling that their life is not, and never will be, something they can be proud of.
It gets better, everyone around me seems to genuinely believe that living a life I can be proud of is an abomination, an affront to their ‘decency’ and ‘taste’, no one has faith in me, because no one wants me to BE me, no one needs […]
I CANT STOP HITTING MYSELF PULLING MY HAIR OUT HITTING MY HEAD HARD I cant stop I hate myself please just let it end please….
I hate my self I hate what ive become god forgive me please just let it end…held a knife to my skin made a mark please no more please help I hate this I cant go on please god please im terrified this is what my life will be now .. please I need help. I hit myself when no one is around im terrified disgusted guilt of failing I want this to […]
I can’t control my feelings, I can’t control how worthless I think I am. I am surrounded by happy people living life and there’s me sitting in the corner drowning my sorrows. I feel useless, I can’t do anything. My so called friends don’t give a damn what I feel, my parents only care about their work and have no time to spend time or care about me. I don’t know what’s the point of living anymore, what’s the point of living if no one likes you the way you. I mean, life is meaningless, it’s a test whether you can survive or not. I can’t do […]
Another truth to life I have discovered nobody ever did so much pretending in the end were born alone we die alone no one is there at least not for me never for me many could say I’m just angry and hateful I am but not nearly as much as all the sadness regret loneliness
I hit myself in the head and slap myself over and over when no one is around. I hate myself. I cry and scream. someone please help me someone I am going insane please someone help me.
I was here years ago ranting about how worthless my life was and how much I wanted it over. My life never got better it’s worse now. I’m looked down upon by everyone, I have no friends, I cry myself to sleep every night. I can’t get a girlfriend at all. I want love, happiness and joy but yet it has still avoided me. Nothing in my life has ever gone right, it feels like on the rare occasion I have a happy day, the next day is a completely depressing day. My car I just bought is broke down, several best friends abandoned me, […]
My relationship with my mind is tumultuous at best. For most of my life I’ve had depression. Which is fine. It’s the only emotion I know fluently, and it has always been there, like an imaginary friend. Since I knew the nature of the beast I accepted depression as a fact of life, even to the extent I believed everyone was depressed.
I am more creative when I’m depressed. I can pop out decent poetry and short stories with little effort. My cooking and impromptu recipes are always more flavorful. I can draw very well, and music always sounds better.
When I’m not depressed, nothing meets my […]
My job is going under, so I’m out of a job. I’m homeless already and can’t pay to stay anywhere now. I’m disabled too but they say I’m perfectly fine so that I can’t so much as get a disabled bus pass. I have been promised full time with benefits for the last 8 months and now they are going out of business. And my love is begging for a place to stay too, and I had hoped so much to be able to get my own place so he could stay with me. I know he’ll never be mine and now what can I […]
I used to think that I would always be happy… Well that was until my dad died last year in August. Since then I haven’t felt there was a purpose in life, like there is just nothing left anymore… I started doing things that even I felt was not right like planing my death with millions of different ways, but I wasn’t even realising I was doing it… Which really thrightened me, I though I was going mental. I booked an appointment with the doctors as I was so scared of what I would do to myself, they gave me some medication which really helped […]
We all die at some point even if no one wants to think of it that way. Why is it so wrong that I know the time and place? Why is it so wrong that I choose to release myself? People will say what they will when I’m gone but it will fall on deaf, dead, ears. We all say goodbye eventually…why did we as a human race turn death into something so taboo? When did we decide that denying death’s presence is natural? It’s so intertwined with life and I refuse to look away. I wish I could go with dignity in a peaceful […]
…
If her tears fall with no one around
Would you still be able to see it?
Somedays are hard
Others are harder
Choices are made that change her world
They can never be replaced
The love she had now fades to grey
As the passion she holds smolders to ash
All she can do is wallow and cry but,
If her tears fall with no one around
Would you still be able to see it?
The bitterness of life is unbearable
The pain that continues is crippling
She wonders if it ever subsides
The answer turns to no And everything continues
They go about their day knowing they are loved
She goes home […]
I am a big believer in doing what makes you happy. I am the person that all of their friends go to to vent and i am the shoulder that everybody cries on. it is a great feeling, helping someone else but it is no too fun when you need a shoulder to cry on and absolutely no one is there for you, or they pretend to care. So, doing what makes you happy is difficult when you don’t have anything that makes you happy. Yeah, things are temporary but nothing seems to be long term. How can someone have hope that they will have […]
I have nothing left to care for and I have nothing left to think about. I’m alone in the world and that sucks. I feel like I have no purpose and I feel completely useless, no one wants to know me, no one wants to care for me, no one wants me. My life has succumbed to a ball of nothing, my cold black heart longs to no longer beat and my mind is left to ponder the though of the blackness and nothing of death must be a bitter sweet relief to the heaviness the world has become for me. I no longer wish […]
I’m the only member of my immediate family that is alone. I don’t fit in or figure into their lives. They make plans and do things without even asking if I’m interested. I’m the proverbial 5th wheel. So when I die I don’t expect they’ll really miss me. I can’t even work anymore because of my heart. I understand loneliness. I truly believe no one even wants to love me. What do I have to offer a potential partner?
Those of you who have “seen” me on here for 5 years know that I have a badly damaged heart and had to quit the job I […]
Always been the person to be there for everyone else. No matter what I went thru I pushed that aside to help the ones who couldn’t ever offer help me when I feel the same pain or in my opinion worse.. But what happens when I feel I need someone to be there? When I feel like I’m falling apart or becoming weak who other than myself can I talk too..clearly I know the answer to that, I just don’t want to believe it. So stressed out and wish that being my only friend and only comfort was enough. Sometimes it has been but that’s […]
Im 17 years old. My dad is a heavy drinker and is addicted to meth. When I was younger my dad used to touch me inappropriately when he was all strung out on meth. Everytime I now see him strung out, I play the moment of him touching me. I’m scarred for life. I can’t look at my father the same. I smoke weed to cope. I am really depressed with my home life. No one in my family has ever graduated from my moms side or my dads side, an I want to be the first. But I don’t .believ in myself. I lack […]
Hey .. I have spent a long time on this site and its pretty cool .. a lot of warm, nice people that care for each other even though we have never seen each other in real life.. It’s really nice to see that.. I am pretty good to make people feel better but I have my downfalls too.. but here is my story: it may not be as bad as some out here but its to much for me to deal with.. : I feel alone. I look around always and I see groups of friends laughing having fun enjoying themselves or […]
I lied to my parents about having suicidal thoughts and carrying on self harming. Should I come clean because they are getting worse I keep taking pills and cutting and I feel its going to get worse. Should I go doctors? Or maybe counseling? I dunno what to do I feel myself fading away everyday a bit more :‘( I haven’t been able to speak to anyone 🙁 I’m going into a deeper depression and no one is caring about it 🙁 I feel like one day everyone will care when it is too late :‘(
I wish I could hide out. Hibernate like a bear. Or fall down a hole and no one finds me. Like I wanna run away to Mexico where nobody knows me or my past. Then I could be whoever I wanted. Or if I could disappear. Or be a fly on the wall. [because they have short life spans] I just don’t wanna be me anymore. I don’t wanna be here anymore. I don’t wanna hurt anymore.