I was supposed to do my essay.
For weeks now.
Its not done.
Its not getting done.
I’m crying.
Why am I crying? I’m supposed to be working.
No no, I’m crying.
I’m crying I’m so sad.
I’m so sad. I am so alone. I am so sad I am so sad.
I am so sad. I hate myself.
I’m going to kill myself in a week or so.
I hate myself. I want to die.
I’m going to kill myself.
I hate myself.
I am a dumb fucking piece of shit ready to die.
I’m already rotten.
Nobody cares.
>:(
Well don’t mind me.
I’m going to kill myself in 10 days.
Or less, I think. I don’t know.
Its not like anybody cares or will care.
Nobody damn cares, thats what.
I’ll kill myself and nobody will care.
Ha ha ha ha.
Oh my god I want to die.
Let me say this once for the whole world to hear: I. HATE. YOU. ALL.
I am bringing this up again, I was admitted to the E.R. yesterday for suicidal thoughts after my psychologist knew it was beyond her control.
My family, my mother she was pissed. She complained about how the 50$ wasted for parking in the hospital could’ve been used for buying shoes. She said, “Poor, poor girl….Your sister wanted to go shopping, and now she can’t because this bloody (insert swear words) crazy idiot did all this.” My father complained about missing work. My sister called me a dumb stupid teenager and I was making […]
I remember their voices as I lay there in the hospital bed.
Asking over and over why I did it. Why I took those pills. Why I wanted it all to end.
I remember laying there and for a split second I didn’t know. Here’s these people standing over me, tears in their eyes, and broken hearts beating in their chest.
Whether I were their kid, friend or brother, they all had a sign in their eyes that a piece of them almost died with me.
This is what I think about when suicide comes to mind.
Even if you want to die, you have to take a second to realize […]
This website is comforting. When I come here I feel like I can say my most painful thoughts and nobody judges. Maybe nobody even cares, which is fine as well. I just like someone to read my words without any judgement.
I don’t even know if this website is healthy for me to come to. But when I feel like I’m about to explode, I come here and feel a little bit more calm.
Let me tell you something. I have no idea how to be good at life. No idea what so ever. I applaud people that are good at it.
There is no more reason to continue. I see no more hope.
My friends are gone.
I’m about to loose my brother.
People are out to humiliate me.
Today I lost my job, because I got angry about the abuse of equipment (they haven’t got that big a budget).
I don’t know how to continue anymore. People simply don’t care about me anymore. There’s only so much caring I can do until I need some care back, from wherever it comes. It hasn’t come for a while now.
My heart feels like it’s shredded, burned and trampled on. My life just keeps getting more and […]
Just feeling like nobody cares. Because why would they? What does caring for someone even mean? Why would you waste your time caring for someone you know is a ticking bomb? Is it so that they won’t be one? Why would any of you care about helping me? Why would any of you care about me? You don’t know me. Do we ever actually care about someone we don’t know? We might? But do we? So what if I don’t know myself. Do I care?
I want to disappear
I don’t want to kill myself, and I also don’t want to bring any pain to myself.
I just want to be nonexistent. Just pass on by and nobody notices a thing.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t born. Maybe I’m just weird. I feel like I’m not supposed to be here. I don’t belong here.
Everyone else knows that I don’t belong, so why can’t I just fall into the void.
It’s stupid to think that nobody would miss you if you died. Incredibly so, because someone is bound to notice and miss your presence. Your friends, family, pets, that guy you sit next to at work or class. That’s never been the issue for me, I guess.
Ive been doing so good. I thought that maybe it wasn’t so bad anymore. I didn’t want to die, I wanted to move on. Relapse really sucks. I wish…I wish that I had a better time with those therapists. I wish my psychiatrist actually helped me, I wish the pills worked but they didn’t. What […]
“death
deTH/
noun
…the end of the life of a person or organism. “
I feel there’s a minor difference between being dead and not being alive.
In truth, nobody wants to die; to face death; to end our lives.
In broader terms, I just think we don’t want to live life; to be alive. But its still not death we wish for.
In clearer terms, we solely wish to not experience living. None of us want to experience death either.
Think of it as getting the opportunity to merely watch our lives on TV. We’ll witness, but we wish not to experience. We’ll hear, but we wish not to listen. We’ll see, but we […]
Its been a while and ive came to the conclusion that nobody gives a fuck about me. And if the only way I can be cared about is if I was dead then so be it. Id rather be dead and loved then be alive and hated.
“Are you OK?”
I get asked it often, nowadays:
During lunch, sitting alone in an empty hallway, my face in my hands. Well, what is the answer?
I’ve come to realize that though I strongly DISLIKE getting asked the question, I know that the people who take their time to inquire about my feelings/ well-being are the nicest, kindest people- even if they genuinely don’t care, they still ask. And their asking helps me remember where I am and to keep […]
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26th of January
They said suicide is the coward’s way out.It is the one big solution to a temporary problem.But what if the problem is permanent,will suicide be an available solution?Today I’m starting my countdown,a countdown where it will all start and at the same time end.Nobody can stop me because even I cannot stop myself.So love me,care for me,stay with me,because the last days of my life will soon be a tragic end.
problems with parents. depressed. suicidal.
my mother finds every excuse to beat me, yell at me and ruin me. ive been told many times to kill myself by her, to leave, to go to an orphanage, but to mostly just die. it was terrible before but it’s only getting worse. recently she locked me outside of the house at night in below freezing weather, while it was raining and left me there for a near hour, locking the doors of the house. then, on the same day, she said to me “either i die or you die” and kicked me out of the house again for […]
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I’m their good for nothing son of my parents, brother of my sister and boyfriend of my girlfriend. Feeling Miserable. Nobody to listen to my thoughts. Thanks for reading. 🙁
uuuugh. its like i tryy, and i tryyyy. but its like my efforts dont mean shit to nobody. I don’t think they realize how worthless they make me feel. maybe they do, maybe they just don’t care.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is something liberating about accepting being a nobody.
I have been bullied, belittled, and abused as a child in both my school and in my family. For the longest of times, I have done my best to improve my reputation and status in society in response to these actions. However, I have failed time and time again. After numerous short lived careers, huge heart aches, and personal failures, I have come to the realization that, indeed maybe they were all correct before. Maybe indeed I am a nobody.
If it is truth, then all my past failures, misfortunes, and regrets can be rationally, logically, and justifiably explained […]
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