to be honest… I wish I wasn’t sick anymore cause no one gets it. I wish I could have some one like the “sick” girls in my books the girls that are just like me they get rescued y cant I y cant I have some one like tate someone to love me like he loves violet… I have a boyfriend sure but its like he just doesn’t care he said it was “you and me together for always” but he doesn’t love me and I […]
Tag:
nothing
I am really nothing…
hi my name is **** *****. i am 1?-years old… hehe i don’t know how to start telling my life, but I’m not really good at English… I writing this because I think it will make me feel better… umm… I grew up in small city. When I was 3-8 years old, I have painful days and happy days of course. my parents were drunk, fighting, every Friday, Saturday, it was never changed 5-years, always drinking, fighting. me and my big brother and my lil sister, crying in room, our word never changed our parents, we always tell them to stop […]
I have read a lot of posts from here over the years, particularly when I Google something random and crazy about death or killing myself lol. I decided to make an account earlier when I read some posts about donating organs after suicide. I have been in love with death for many years now. I think I romanticize the thought in my head too much sometimes. I am of peaceful and sound mind. I would never hurt anyone so I assure those reading this that no one (except maybe my own self..) is in any physical danger on my behalf.
I am going to be 23 […]
I’ve been basically alone for 2 years straight, my family is “against” me for a couple of reasons. But anyway, i feel like i have no purpose to go on, really, i’m depressed, i don’t have REAL friends, i was bullied last year in school, and my family thought it was just a “phase”, i’m constantly critiziced for my looks and ideals, i’ve had so many people going in and out of my life, so many liers.
I have nothing to do with my life, i’m not interested in studying a career, i don’t have a hobby even tho i’ve tried many things.
I consider […]
I dont even care enough to want to die. Repetitive practiced motions propel me through my days. Mind numb and thoughts stagnant. The real me died a long time ago and the creature left in my place is weak. Slowly dissipating to nothing is more than I deserve and exactly what I’ll get. I’ve made peace with this.
Turn around and go home. Home, indeed, but not the traditional home as most people think, i.e. your literal home. This thing is broken. Turn around and go home. To nonexistence. Indeed, nonexistence would be a beautiful state to be in, if, in fact, you could even consider it a state of being. How do you even define nonexistence? No feeling, at all (mentally). No sounds. No colors, though I already know what that’s like. Nothing to smell, or taste, or touch. In fact, would perceiving the perception that you don’t experience any of […]
Someone told me a few days ago that their birthday was April 20th and that got me thinking about Columbine again. Of course, thinking about Columbine got me started on death and suicide again, so I watched a bunch of videos with shootings ending in suicide, and looking up suicide obituaries. I secretly thought I was moving forward, but I guess I’m not. I tried to look up how to tie a bedsheet noose, but it’s a lot different than an actual noose, judging by the photos online. I wasn’t even feeling suicidal until I started trying to make it, and then it just hit […]
People will work for nothing as long as you give them the illusion of something.
I sit here on my own. Just waiting for someone to realize that I am an island. I wish someone would be brave enough to row out to sea, just to stumble upon me. But instead I sit here, alone and deserted. Minutes, days, months pass without human contact. Just me and my thoughts, swirling around like a hurricane. They batter my mind like wind against a wall, they tear me up by the roots and toss me around like I’m nothing. I guess I am nothing. If an island is never discovered, did it ever exist? I kind of doubt it.
But I will sit […]
I don’t want my life to depend on one person. But the truth is that my boyfriend broke up with me today and I just don’t know how I’m supposed to get through this. He told me he can’t deal with my depression and suicidal thoughts and it’s been like that basically since we started dating three year ago. I always knew we were never going to last, but he was what was keeping me going in this life. He tells me I need to get help and that I will be fine eventually, but I don’t believe that. I’ve been getting help for so […]
Well ever since sixth grade I have felt alone. Even though I have a best friend. half the time I don’t think she wants to be friends with me. I am getting to the point where I am close to giving up again. I cant keep feeling like a nothing. I always feel worthless and alone. I have no clue that else to do anymore. Nobody at my school likes me, so instead they pick on me and tease me. I tried telling the teachers but nothing helped or worked. I cant even ride the bus anymore because I can’t handle the teasing that happens […]
I am 24 years old, i have been fighting depression for about 4 years now. It all began when the girl i was in love with for 5 years was raped and she became different and left me. i have attempted suicide once and failed, i was locked up in a suicide watch institute for 3 days (worst thing ever they take everything from you and you sit in silence wanting to die even more) luckily my sister worked there and got me out. My current gf recently left me because i was too depressed of a person, i loved her with everything i had […]
I was born into relatively lower middle class family. My mother is an school teacher all her life and my dad is an alcoholic since forever working in construction. Ive born into a small town, with no opportunites and with no financial aid, I attended the school and finished by graduating 12 classes. As a kid I played used to enjoy playing football or just pass time as a computer which is most of my whole life. But If I were to defy myself Im incredibly shallow, no confidence/self esteem, have not felt anything in years, no-one to care for or something to hold value […]
Hello everybody.
Love from me.
I am 22 and I live in Bosnia. Its fucked up place like every place on this planet.
I”ve been all over the world. Worked on cruise ship for two years. I feel so lonley. Like nobody unmderstand me. Even when I am with other people,drinking,laughing,I feel alone…completley…All the time thinking about that…Feeling so distanced from other people.
Born as Muslim,but started to practice religion with 16 for 3 years. Now I dont belive in nothing but death.
I have so many disorders. Obsessive compulsive disorder….etc
Didnt had girlfriend. Now I met girl called Sandra and I a made mistake again. […]
wow, there’s nothing quite like failing spectacularly at finding a job to make one want to off oneself. there’s nothing quite like becoming a pathetic free-loader for almost a year, desperate and hopeless.
my life is going nowhere.why continue?
the prophet of lost causes, the broken, andthe drunks, bukowski n his apostles
by cathy arsis
written by cathy arsis
when i think of heaven, deliver me in a black winged bird….i think of dying
lay me down in a field of flame and heather,
render up my body into the burning heart of god
in the belly of a black winged bird- Adam duritz
in the beginingwas the myth. God, in his search for self expression, invested the souls of
hindus, greeks, and germans with poetic shapes and continues to invest each childs soul with poetry every day.-hesse, Peter camenzind
“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can’t readily accept the God formula, the big answers don’t […]
Everyone is just an acquaintance. I can’t really connect with anyone. Being by myself minimizes the agony of being apart of this world. But even then it’s unbearable.
For the past 6 years I have suffered from severe depression and social anxiety. There has never been a good time in my life. Before I even developed mental illnesses my Dad was an abusive asshole to my mother and sometimes to me and my siblings. I’ve never had a true friend, I click with no one and relate with no one. I’ve been in therapy for about 3 years now and it seems like nothing is getting better. I left school on the first day of last year because of how bad things were getting; I just couldn’t handle it any longer.
So basically all I’ve been […]
Along with the overwhelming fear of failing an attempt (again), I have always been afraid of succeeding and finding some place worse than life on this Earth. Do people who commit suicide go to some type of “Hell”? Is there a Hell? Is there an afterlife? Will I be welcome to it if I force myself into it? Or is death like a dreamless sleep from which one never awakes? This notion terrifies me but is comforting at the same time. There may be nothing there at all which includes no depression, no anxiety, no more fear of death, no more hardships from life; there may just […]