Fight your enemy.
First destroy his heart,all he loves, and all who love him back.
Next destroy his mind and philosophies.
Finally, cripple him with a single shot.
Now I lay in a state of nothing.
I am dead yet alive for I have defeated my ene-me.
Tag:
nothing
I wish I didn’t feel the physical effects of depression. Lethargy is the worst–you can’t do anything and yet you can’t tell anyone why you can’t do anything. This entire weekend I’ve done nearly nothing, but why should I do anything anyway? All of our existences are inherently meaningless, our lives will end and we will all be Nothing. Truly, nothing in this life actually matters at all. And yet we go about as though we have a purpose (well, most people do anyway, I suppose people like me do not) and believe that life is beautiful and sacred when it isn’t. Life is just […]
damn. 19, nearly 20 and I’m still a distant son to my parents. I haven’t seen them in years.
never has it really been any different.
I really don’t want to spout the same generic things that people would expect to hear.
I don’t want to be just another. I hope no one reads this. Its like letting the public know
but hoping they close their eyes, and don’t listen
neglectfulness fills my life.
I was in hopspital 3 years ago, I was a lot worse then.
I was really gone back then…I can’t remember much of it.
But now, although the doctors shone that light in […]
So I was in a hospital for two weeks… And I think I fell in love…
by Starr_Crys
written by Starr_Crys
I went to the hospital for my self-harm issues(the only reason I ever found this site) along with PTSD, major anxiety and other mental health problems. I was in a two-week program at McLeans adolescent residential treatment program(or ART.) well about my seventh day there, a boy shows up. His name is Alex. It was nothing new, there was new people coming and going there all the time. We did our introductions, and when he explained his, I realized what an amazing voice he has. Yes, sadly I kinda had a crush on him from the first thing he said. But, he was only there […]
you know your born into this world and for the first copal of years of your life you think hey what could go wrong? sadly you soon start to open your eyes and see the world for what it really is i don’t know much about any of you just anonymous bloggers like me i guess but i know one thing death is unavoidable wether it is from natural causes a tragic accident or self inflected. sometimes you don’t want to die other times you know your ready like me i know i want to die i know that theres nothing anyone can do to […]
where did it all go so wrong. it wasn’t just one event but a build up a slow etching away of humanity and life, you take away this and I settle for that. then this and this and this and that is gone. Wait there is more to lose and I settle for that…no that is not enough this is gone too and even more…no walks in the park, no hugging your dog no gong to work and put up with the regular BS, no family to talk to, no face to recognize…. NOTHING left of value or importance, what left too look forward too
Hi,
I’m Velvet. I don’t want to kill myself, but I am thinking about it. I’m thinking about it because part of me hates myself. I have no one who would really give a damn. The people that are close to me, either take advantage of me or abuse or dismiss me. So, I am nothing and nobody to anyone. So, what’s the point?
That’s basically it for now. I’m at the bottom of a huge, big barrel that’s always been there, waiting for me. Waiting to absorb me.
Well, I don’t know if I should stay in bed all day tomorrow and lick my wounds, or if […]
StruggleOn here! Part fennec fox and part dead again. And I have nowhere to trust but here so…
Shit has been going on. Its all just bullshit though. You know when you try so hard for somebody but nothing makes them better? That’s kind of how this is. I don’t even care if it helps I just need it to be accepted. Again and again I am beat down. Hopelesness once again engulfed me. Now I’m stuck. I feel helpless and confused and wonder if I’ll ever deserve somebodies love…
I’ve lost count of the years since he’s been gone, but today marks another. Today, October 25, 2014 is my soul mate’s 19 birthday. Every day I think of him and every time I do I ache to hear his voice again. I’ve been doing pretty good with my depression, even got a new boyfriend…but every time this day rolls around…my resolve breaks. I realize everything I’ve done and built is nothing and worthless. Nothing is the same without him and it never will be. I’ve never felt so miserable over someone before for so long…his loss has made me unable to care or love […]
my life is boring.their is no hope to live the life the way i wanted.i haven’t done nothing which i like in my life.i gave up my career. their is no hope to live. im ending my life. this is my best decision in my life.
I’ve been dealing with this pain for so long… I’ve attempted so many times. I can’t take this anymore. it kills me. I’m afraid to make friends because they’ll all just leave me by death or turning against me. I’m so sick and tired of crying myself to sleep EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And feeling like a fucking mistake to my parents. Why was I born? My mom should have fucking got an abortion. I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE! IT’S TO FUCKING HARD! LET ME GO! PLEASE PLEASE LORD LET ME DIE! I can’t do this anymore. I’m ready to pull the damn trigger and […]
When considering suicide, make sure you don’t get sent to a psychiatric hospital.
written by NotAttentionSeeking
I attempted to commit suicide a few days ago. Unfortunately I got caught and was sent to hospital. I have to say staying in public psychiatric hospital has got to be the most degrading experience of my life. Here is my story of stay in a psychiatric ward:
On the 20th October 2014, I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with the nurses on morning duty at the Adult Acute Ward. Just before the morning meeting, I had noticed that I got my menstrual cycle because my pants had blood stains on the crotch area. I asked one of the nurses if I could take a […]
I feel nothing anymore. I just want my old life back i want to kill myself now and I want everyone to know that I hate my life I want her to know that I’m fucking done with her bullshit I want her to know I’m a fucking idiot I hate the fact that she makes me look bad that she kisses another guy and thinks it’s ok that fact that you doesn’t really love me the fact that I’m nothing to her that she likes guys looking at her that she doesn’t tell me shit I fucking hate my life why can’t I fucking […]
Today I found out for sure that my girlfriend was cheating on me.
I have battled depression in the past, sadly each time it seems to centre around a female. I am now 23, 24 in a bit more than a week. I guess I will start.. at the start…
I was only 14 or 15 at the time. This beautiful girl at my school had started talking to me, I had a crush on her long before but I was never really the one to say anything. I was Year 10 and she was Year 8. I was pretty young but this girl had taken me […]
I think I’m done with people. I wish they’d at least give me a chance to die without having to suffer with this melancholic mind of mine, but people never fail to disappoint. A peaceful escape is just too much to ask for. I have no friends outside of the family, only feeling okay with my mother and brother. Each day, I feel like I am drifting further apart from them as well. I’m losing interest in talking to people as there is nothing to say. My connections are based on nothing more than materialism. People just can’t connect with me emotionally, philosophically, etc., or […]
I know from experience what getting close to that moment is. I know it emotionally and physically. I have the means. I’ve just got some family matters to sort out and then there’s nothing standing in my way. It’s liberating, THAT moment.
I fake it all so well. Everyone thinks I’m this happy little girl with no worries and in reality it’s a mask. A mask to the pain and horror I go through. They don’t see that little girl they think is happy cry herself to sleep every night. They think nothing’s wrong with me. Little do they know I fake everything just so they don’t know I cut and cry and want to die every night.
this girl says I’m the one…she says she loves me…I’m get soul mate. Before she came along I didn’t wanna live at all. She came to me and all I wanted to do was live and be with her. But she’s left me four times. She needs a break…again. I can’t do it anymore. I’m so stupid. I mest up with this. Now she’s gone and all I wanna do is die. I want someone or something to kill me. I love her so much and she says she loves me. I don’t understand why she keeps doing this. After everything ice done for her…she […]
I feel that my life was mostly pointless because I could not live to the fullest at all because everything costs money, and people have to like you so your life is easier. So most of my childhood it was extremely lonely I had no friends and I got bullied everyday I think that pretty much tells me I had no place in this world cause I didn’t matter to anymore infact people wanted me gone. they didn’t care when I got hurt on the playground, when I got punched, when I threw up in class, I was so alone. When I was in the […]
I honestly cannot find the words anymore, nothing to comfort others. I’m just blank, more or less like something that’s been erased. As i sit there constanly with the thoughts of suicide, it moves down my spin.. hurting more and more, like ice onto an ocean. I technically cannot classify myself from an ocean. Because in my mind: I see an Ocean as peaceful, full of life, moving to keep the life going. It’s like we are here to be here? If that makes sense, but unlike others we feel it all, we feel it more and more & it dwells in our minds that […]