Total loss of reality. What is going on. I feel pain tho, and happy sometimes. Dont want to be here anymore though.
Tag:
pain
Seriously – if there was something to look forward to that made enduring the pain of bending my hips, back and knees to put my clothes on before work worth enduring but there isn’t.
If I was only just a little comfortable in my own skin so I felt like I deserved to have someone waiting for me at the end of the day to soothe me and hold me again but I don’t.
If I could rest, I mean really rest when I sleep instead of tossing and turning all night long trying to stay one step ahead of the pain and waking to […]
I want to feel something again.
You’d think I’d like feeling numb to this world, but I don’t.
Not feeling makes it hard to know if I’m alive or not.
I want to feel the pain, to know I’m living.
When I’m numb, well I might as well be dead.
I just want to feel again.
I’m thinking of leaving… This world has so much pain and I don’t want anyone else to feel my pain. How do I get everyone to hate me so that I can leave without the ones who love me feeling pain too?
The teardrops run down
And fall off her nose
She cries in dark corners were
nobody goes.
You can follow her tracks
from her eyes to her chin,
Years upon years of letting them win.
And her eyes tell a story
of anger and pain.
You think that’s she’s happy
but just look again.
And the scars in her past
hidden under her clothes
are a roadmap to places that nobody knows.
Her smile is now painted,
shes a master of disguise,
And you can see it […]
The water is clear
But your wrists are stained
Your face says happy
But your eyes say pain.
I think about it all the fucking time. It would be easy to end the pain, suffering, and self hate that I feel daily. No more depression. No more cutting. Just ignorant bliss. I don’t know what will happen but I do know it would be better than the misery I live now. I can’t live with myself. I am “living” in a constant hell and it’s killing me; it’s actually slowly driving me insane. So the question is how will I do it? There are so many different options; hanging, suffocation, drowning, slitting my wrists, overdose, jumping, electrocution and so much more. I’ve written […]
I’ve been through this before. I thought I was done feeling like this. When I was in sixth grade, I stayed up late to slit my wrists as soon as I heard my parents’ bedroom door close. I cried myself to sleep each and every night. I had a boyfriend and I knew he loved me. Or as close as love got in sixth grade. He was going through the same thing. Except he had and addiction to drugs. Whenever he cut, Â I would Too. I wanted to feel his pain. Maybe I thought it would cut his pain in half. I don’t know.
I continued […]
I am lost. I can’t find my way. I’ve been gone so long that I do not even know myself. I hurt constantly. My body aches with sadness. I am empty. I feel nothing but pain. All that I loved I feel absence. Feelings missing where I know they should go. Pushing through the motions to be normal. To appear sane. I don’t understand me, how do you think you can? I am a shell of a soul, eternally meant to suffer. I crave to feel again. Those moments never come. I am less and less a whole but filled with pain and sadness. I […]
How do you tell the ones you love that you are suicidal? That every day you need to make a conscious decision? You have a stash of painkillers ready for the moment? That going to the mental ward again doesn’t solve the chronic physical pain? How do you reach out after so many failed “cures? “
That is what they say isn’t it….that you shouldn’t hurt yourself. that it’s wrong, unnatural. but i find that the people that usually say that. are the people in a judgmental position and have never felt enough pain to want to hurt themselves. To feel like they deserve to be hurt. these , of course, are my opinions and you’re free to disagree with them, but i think that if you have felt enough pain either physical or emotional in your life(or both) and you feel the need to self-harm. i fell that it is a coping mechanism and should be used….thoughts?
but I am hurting, I’m hurting so bad that I do whatever it takes to shut everything off. I want to die so bad, and everyday some part of me tries to talk me out of it. I know I get it I truly honestly do you have to live for yourself make yourself happy do things you want. But I don’t care about myself I don’t love myself so its hard for me it really is. I self destruct, I give up, I have never truly done anything solely because I wanted to. I have done nothing but hurt myself, I have so much […]
To anyone who is attempting suicide tonight, I wish you success in your attempt. Simple as that. I know we would all like to think that we can offer positive encouragement to fellow sufferers… maybe because it’s what we desperately wish we could find ourselves… but I know in my case that is just hypocrisy.
I wish for you what I wish for myself, that tonight your pain ends. No bs about finding a cure in life, no bs about finding a better solution or a way to deal with the pain. No, I hope you reach the true end of your pain which can only […]
Hello. I’m jess. I’m fourteen years old, and I’ve gone crazy.
I found this site when I was looking for ways to commit suicide. I thought it would be nice to finally talk to someone, and explain my madness to them.
I’m going to list all the reasons why I want to end my life.
1. I live in a country that’s incredibly corrupt. I don’t see a future for me, and we’re going through so much pain right now… that I want to end it. I’m filled with rage.
2. I know I’m young, but I’ve done things I shouldn’t have and my anxiety is killing me because […]
As a child I started hating everyone. 2 years ago it got worse and i stopped going out, i didn’t go to School anymore, I stopped eating and never left my room. My mom started worrying but she didn’t know what to do so she just argued with me before she called a psychiatric and a lawyer which said that they will hospitalize me in some time. I had to wait about 3 Months before the could take me, they said. I was glad to be free so far although I was just sitting in my bed all day. Then I decided to end this pain. […]
Well, it’s been two and a half months and I still can’t walk, I’ve been trying to convince myself that my leg will heal, but no progress yet, and I’m literally in enough pain that it’s keeping me from eating, I may lose my job because I can’t work, I may actually lose the ability to walk without some form of assistance, my disability checks stopped and I can’t get ahold of anyone I need to to start them up again, and I need to get $1500 together by june, which I could do if I skipped meals and was receiving some form of an […]
‘Ring’ ‘ring’ ‘ring’. I woke up at the sound of my alarm. ” oh gosh , it is still 6:30 am ” . I checked my phone I had no messages from my friends . “That’s weird , my friends used to talk to me everyday! ” I wondered to myself . I took a bath , brushed my teeth and prepared some delicious pancakes with my coffee .
As I was enjoying my sweet breakfast and listening to the sound of the birds , my friend vikki called . […]
I’ve always wanted to have kids someday. Four to be exact. I know what you’re thinking, that’s a lot of kids. Well yes, but I love children and I’ve always wanted to have two of my own and to adopt two. I want to spoil them and love them as much as possible. I want to give them the world! But today, I stopped and I thought about the little boy or girl I’ll bring into this world someday.. and I realized I didn’t want that for them. I dont want want my children to grow up in such an ugly, hurtful world. I never want […]
Have you ever felt like you were surrounded by darkness? A darkness so deep and pain so real that you just want it all to end? Have you ever felt like the world would be a better place without you in it? How about that you are so worthless that if people really knew who you were they would hate you as much as you hate yourself? Do you have a plan to end your life? Have you given up all hope? I have! Depression is real and the pain is intense, but there is hope —  Watch “Story 2013” on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CNbKbMIjLvU
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Think about it. Are the problems that you want to end by suicide that awful and permanent that nothing could alleviate them? Although you may not think so now, you will recover from your problem or problems and live out the rest of your life happily. There are no problems in this world that can be solved by suicide.
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When you are thinking rationally, try to think of solutions to your troubles that are constructive, and that will help ease the hurt you’re going through. The person attempting suicide doesn’t truly want to die — instead they just want the pain to stop.
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If there’s someone who […]