I’m not sure why I’m still here. My attempts at suicide are failures and it’s starting to make me think about more effective attempts. But I want to stay. I want to see my future. I just want out of the present. I feel numb, tired, and weak. I go through the days avoiding people and just trying to find ways to make each day go by. I feel broke down inside. I’m  still in high school and living with my parents. I’m gay but don’t know how to tell them. I had a gay friend over once, my dad told me not to talk […]
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I cannot go five minutes without thinking about commiting suicide. Â I dont know what to do. Â Have started on medications and counselling, but it only seems to be getting worse. Â I am so lonely where i live, but my parents are dependent on me and hence cannot die.
I am not in a prison, yet i feel like i am solitary confinement most of the time. Â I go to office every week day, gym almost every day. Â Yet, when I return to my lonely house, I feel like i am getting locked up in a prison.
I just need someone to talk to without them judging […]
So when i was about 5 i lost my parents, well at the time none of my family wanted me so i went to foster care. When i was about 8 years old i was adopted by great parents, or at least i thought. Growing up it was alright i got picked on alot though because ive always had short hair my whole life ive had it. Well it wasnt until recently that i had started coming out with being a lesbian. Everyone hated me at my school. I only had one friend which was my sister Amber. Im 13 and shes 14. I became […]
I love my wife and Kids, but I am as low as I have ever been. Â I lost my job, and this forces us to move to a new town. Â My wife resigned her job, my kids 7 and 5 will enter new schools and we will be on my salary alone. Â The pressure is killing me. Â I have never been so close to ending it all. Â I have a new job, I have a good new job, it’s hard for me to see it. Â I’ve been so low for so long. Â My kids bring me joy, that’s why i don’t end it all.
I feel […]
Pretty sure I’ll be doing it within a month. I’ve decided on a hanging, I’ve looked into the subject a lot and the best options are expensive, and the other options can leave you pretty messed up. Hanging can too of course but has a higher success rate and is cheap to do. I knew a guy who tried shooting himself in the hospital during a previous attempt so even guns aren’t a guarantee but nothing is really. I don’t really expect anyone to read this, I notice most posts on here don’t have comments, so either no one reads or no one cares. That’s […]
At a very young age, at about 7, I accepted that, in my words and thoughts at the time, “sometimes other people will have what you aren’t meant to”. At the time, I was referring to far simpler things, yet still…. despite feeling very deprived, I struggled on trying to get what I could out of life. Life never seemed to give me back anything for my trying.
See…. by 3 years old, I had already had the skin of my hands boiled off. I don’t remember the event itself, but I sure remember the way my hands looked afterward. I also remember the fact […]
I wrote this earlier…its just an opinion and please excuse the foul language :)
by waste2304
written by waste2304
This is a depressing world we live in….a very depressing world one I cant bare to live in one I wont bare to live in…but im a bad person and bad people belong in this hell…I belong in this hell….I hurt everybody with my words…my touch….my everything wonder if anyone else realizes that they already live in hell hell cant get much worse then planet earth…I hate myself people hate me but who gives a fuck right……..who…really….gives….a….fuck!!!!!!!!!!!….the world is filled with disappointments im just another one of them ill live………..ill die……….but I swear to my lord and savior I wont multiple….why bring something in this […]
It’s hard to say what I feel now(like always) but,I want to tell somebody cause I can’t keep it inside anymore…It kills me,I’m destroying everything.I want to scream and let that thing get out from me forever.I think about suicide every time,but I don’t wanna hurt my parents,they made for me much! In my school I’m just another “Looser”…It don’t wanna feel this way …..I don’t want to live,I have no reasons to live for…..I feel empty inside,that intolerable pain….I’m broken,broken is what I am………
I fucking hate my life. So I shit around, help other people with their lives in order to forget about my fucked up life… I know that won’t change anything, but I hate my life. I loathe it. I want to give up. I want to fucking give up everything. I can’t decide nor choose anything in my life. It’s all fucking manipulated by my parents even after highschool graduation. I hate living. I hate my family, I hate everything that is me. I just want to fucking kill myself. I a fucking useless shit infested with self-hatred. The judges won’t like me. I won’t […]
I hate my doctor at the therapy. He really thinks he understands me completely. Actually he doesn’t. He was like, when you feel you need to cut, go to your therapists or your parents. Could you make that promiss with me? He really doesn’t understand. I tried to explain, but still he doesn’t understand that I’m too scared to do that, and that I’m in a kind of trance when I cut. It’s really frustrating when people think they understand you, but actually they don’t.
I’m sorry for the upcoming vent, I need to get it out.
So, I really want to kill myself right now.
I just miss my brother like hell, ever since he took his own life about 10 months ago, i haven’t been happy. Time drags me through life but i don’t want to. I don’t want to move on because it feels like forgetting. And I hate myself because i feel like i’m already starting to forget how exactly his voice sounded or how his smile was. He was my everything, besides my brother also my best friend.
Then besides that, i feel so lonely. It […]
someone said we are all destined for greatness
then why is the world this why today
wouldn’t they have realized they were
“destined for greatness”
looking deeper into the meaning of the phrase
we are all destined to be the greatness of our capability
she could not help that she was brought up into a family with enough money for one school outfit
though no one knew she had the voice of an angel and could be a famous singer
but instead she died at 19 in gang shooting
he was not a piano prodigy
his parents paid for the countless hours of practice so […]
Going on here, I know I would never be able to commit suicide. I’m too much of a wimp to do it, and would only be able to do so purely on impulse depending on my mood and surroundings. But I still have suicidal thoughts. I don’t know why I’m here or what my purpose is for being here. I don’t belong anywhere. Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt like an outcast. I’ve never had a clique of friends I truly belonged to, and if there was, I wasn’t important enough to be invited to hang out, I was more the person they […]
Each day that I wake up I am just adding time onto my pain. I distract myself with T.V , this website and the internet to keep from killing myself. The urge is there. Sometimes I feel this deep rage inside me and a voice screams in my head “YOU NEED TO FUCKIN KILL YOURSELF” and I have to convince myself that the time isnt right now. Why am I lying to myself? I think is just the will to live. My heart, mind and spirit are all at war within me. My heart and mind says its over and this is the end but […]
So, I have been planning on suicide on the 3rd next month. People are telling me not too but, I literally can’t take the pain anymore. I cut last night and I was clean for more than 3 months! But, anyways here’s my pointless story..
So, Last year. ‘8-3-12’ I kinda thought I was in love.
About a couple months into our relationship it was getting a little depressed.
The guy, Jt, told me he loved me everything and then a couple days later,
He just left me and told me everything was getting taken away from him,
his phone,ps3, home phone, etc.
So, I said […]
I am scared that I will kill myself one of these days.
I am a Christian. I was raised in an environment that told me suicide is a sin (the whole suicide is the murder of oneself, and murder is a no-no).
I am an immigrant. My parents emigrated from their birth place so I could have a better future. I’m tired of being such a failure to them. I know that I’ve fallen way short from their expectations and I feel like I’ve failed them when they’ve placed so much hope in me. I feel like I’m a waste of space, a financial drain on them. […]
Lately I’ve been feeling really sad. I cut myself yesterday and regret it :c idkkkk man.
I feel so alone, and my moms been bringing me down again. She calls me low life and lazy, and asks me when I’m gonna get a job, and what am I gonna study and all this shit. I’m 17 years old, and still young, fuck idk what I want to do or be yet, it’s going to take a long time for me to figure it out. I want to travel and meet people and see things form different perspectives. Why does life have to be so fucking rushed. […]
I am still alive. now at the age of 21 looking back on what i have been trough and it starts making sense again.
I reached to the breaking point again and remembered this site from long ago and was thinking i should spill my thoughts here.
I never told much about my self from the few posts i made here and now i feel is the time to reveal some details about myself just so things would seem more clearly.
so what to begin with? since when i was a little kid our family had lots of problems. we never were a big family, […]
Ok well I told my family how I felt and how I want to end my probelms. They under stood and did not get angry they just didn’t understand how I could be sad with everything that I have. I told them about how my past constantly follows me and eats at me. My father suggested a therapist and I agreed only to see how it goes. We also decided as a family to wait until October and look for one. I’m not sure how long I can wait but I will try for my family. I didn’t tell them however that I cut and […]
I really wonder am I weak for letting the pain get to me like this? For all the tears I’ve cried for all the times I’ve put a blade to my skin. For the constant thoughts of killing myself? For not wanting to be here. I have had a hard past but why cant I just let that go and move on? Why cant I be happy again? I have to many questions…. but honestly I am tired. I hardly ever sleep anymore and I have to force myself to get up and go on everyday. I appear happy to everyone but I’m no where […]