Thank you for reading my text because I feel totally alone right now. I grew with a rageful alcoholic mother who turned all her self-degregation on me. I always felt like a doll not a person and she was so very very scary–could slice with her words in a way that made you feel like nothing at all. But, I was well-liked at school and in sports– I tried so hard to be good. When I was a teenager, my father wrote me a letter telling me that I wasn’t worthy of being their daughter anymore. I had tried so […]
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A girl falls, brakes her leg, and can never walk again. Does anybody care other then her parents? No. One rumour about something that didn’t even happen gets spread and suddenly she’s labeled whore for the rest of her school years. No matter how much of a goodie two shoes she is, the name will stick to her.
For years to come shell sit alone in a dark corner looking back at the bleak rumour that started it all. Blood runs down as she takes a few more pills. She can’t take this anymore. She doesn’t want to. She wish’s it would all just go […]
Three years ago, when life started to go downhill, I made one promise to myself. No matter how far and fast I fell I wouldn’t bring anyone down with. Three years later and I’m at a complete loss. I’ve thought about killing myself many many times but in the end I could never do it. I wouldn’t only be killing myself, I would also be killing my parents. Everyday, as I walk home, I walk down the middle of the street. Whenever a car comes I repeat to myself “hit me, hit me, hit me” to no avail. They always swerve. I don’t know what […]
Hi,
My username is an anagram so if any of you care to do a little word play, you can figure out my real name, but thats not why I am here. I am here to tell you, the reader, a story. A story about me and why I want to die, yet cannot achieve presently.
I was born January 25, 1987. My mother was a drunk at the time and my father was smoking crank. I am the result of a one night stand. An accident turned paternal, if you will. My very first thought, I remember, was when I was still an infant, unable to […]
One good reason to live?.. i don’t see one, i just don’t desire life anymore much like anyone who knows the feeling of constant loneliness, it is never ending no matter how hard you try. I’ve been trying to “be happy” for the past few months only because this girl who i could’ve called my best friend was telling me there are reasons to be happy.. Note i am also inlove with her… Or was atleast, i have no idea where that stands but that was the last thing i cared about. Now that its gone? I really couldn’t tell you what i plan do to […]
I have officially decided to make sure I kill myself this time. I don’t know exactly when, but it’s going to be soon. Â The only time I’ve tried it was around 6 months ago. I took a pack of razors to the alternative school I was attending at the time, went to the bathroom, and started cutting my arms. I only managed to get through the first layer of skin at first. I knew this wouldn’t be enough to bleed out so I took the razor and started slicing into one of the long wounds I had already made and I hear a knock at […]
my grandma, my support, my best friend passed away feb. 28th of this year. the only way i can discribe my pain up.until.now is straight up denial. my family for the most part is supportive. within the past year i have delt with this and.rape. my parents are.on the verge of divorce. my friends are moving on with their lives and.i.feel alone. i am also.struggling with coming out about being bi. by looking at me you would have no idea all.this is happening in my life. i just need help, bitni dont want to be treated unhumane orr like a freak. trust me i seem […]
I’m in a place where no one takes me as a human being. My parents are narrow minded and strict. My real friends are on the other side of the world but this is their exam time so they cant spend too much time on me. The so-called “friends” I have here talks to me only when they need something. I don’t have anyone who can support me. Some people say that ‘You don’t need support from others. Support yourself all the way!” Its true. After all, it’s reality too. But I’ve been trying to support myself for years. I always tend to feel weak […]
This is my first time posting on here… So I’m alana I’m 15 years old and I’ve been depressed/suidical since about the beginning of 6th grade. I’ve been bullied my whole life being called fat, ugly, *****, ect…. People made me feel like shit and made me cry myself to sleep about every night. I started cutting in seventh grade when I got called fat. Is was the first time . It go worse cause I tried killing myself by choking myself it never worked. 8th grade year I thought would get better but it didn’t I started losing friends , guys pushed me into […]
One day I will get my happy ever after, but I am so tired of waiting for it to come. Â I wanna take everything in to my own hands and have the life that I know I deserve but of coarse I can’t and I wanna know why can’t I have it. Â I dated a guy for 10 years, I mean seriously you would think he would be my happy ever after but wrong. Â He decided that being a crackhead was more important and I just couldn’t do it anymore I was physically and mentally drained. Â 1 week after we break up he has a […]
I’ve been battling on and off depression and anxiety for three years, but my parents don’t understand, no matter how much I talk to them. I can never get along with them. They fight with each other frequently over different things. Just today my parents were yelling at each other over my brother, who has autism. He couldn’t understand a simple topic, which caused my mother and him to get in a fight and leave her in tears. Then my father came and yelled and her. Then they yelled at each other. Then they both left. This happens a lot, and my mother talks about […]
I feel like the reason I like the suicide project is because I can write my true feelings. Â Usually I keep them bottled up. Â I know my dad has advanced diabetes and my mom just lost her mom and then her little sister and she feels helpless so I cant really tell them “hey I have serious depression, I lay in the fetal position and cry and wish for it to be over” Â That doesnt help them. Â So I try to keep going and then what happens my sister starts a fight with me over shit that has nothing to do with me. Â So I […]
For a long time i have felt but a hollow shell and unwanted/loved. NO matter what the incident is I am the one who is to yell at. Feeling unloved by my parents is the worst, I have never lived up to my sisters, straight A students, went to college, got good jobs. Me i don’t even get a second look by my parents. Listening to all the accomplishments my sisters have is annoying. I had always showed my love towards my family but since birth i was hated. Locked outside to “play” while my sisters watched TV. Sent to my room where their was […]
The knife cuts deep. Blood starts to rush out. He doesn’t know why he’s doing it, he just knows that the pain feels oh so good. It makes him feel alive. It helps him know that he hasn’t gone completely numb. That some parts of him still have feeling left long after its left everywhere else.
Not that it matters anymore.
This probably wasn’t the best time or place for it, but he didn’t feel like there was a time or place for anything anymore. Everyone else had fell asleep a long time ago, and his dad had left for work, so he’d been left to himself. […]
I’m in my early 20s now and I’ve survived a tough teenage, including several suicidal attemps. I’ve always been an “alternative” girl, listening to non commercial music, not wearing fashionable cloths, not going to the disco, not smoking/bingedrinking/fucking with everyone around. This fact made my life more complicated and allowed a lot of people to talk shit about me and bully me. I’ve tried several times to convince myself that my being unique should be a reason good enough to live, but it didn’t last too long. My family is a normal one, but my parents don’t support me, don’t like what I do and […]
I have been clean of cutting for seven months. Seven. I am very proud of that, so freakin proud of it, but there’s just one factor. I want to cut. I have stayed silent for seven months, I have tried something new for seven months, feeling happy about the fact that I am clean, but the want is there and it will always be there. And since I am now living with my father for the rest of my teen life, I am freaking out. Over here, we can’t cut, we can’t get angry, we can’t get sad, we can’t do what we want with […]
Feeling overwhelmed again and feel that crazy need to DO something; so I am going to write as honestly as I can in hope of clearing my head and maybe helping others to not feel so alone..
I am 19 years old, going to a community college in hopes of learning everything I can about computers and eventually getting a PhD. (programming and hacking take me to a different place, a place where I am extremely intrigued and life actually seems interesting because there is so much to it.)Â Normally I just get tired of waking up to the same routine everyday, not so much that […]
I just need to get it out. I’m 30 in July. I’ve never once had a job. I’m mentally disabled but can’t get on disability. Everyone treats me like I’m trash not worth helping. I’ve been bullied all through school, treated like I’m scum by the government, and my own family looks at me with contempt.
All I do anymore is sit and cry. When I try to talk to anyone it’s always “What do you have to be depressed about.” I can’t afford to get help, the government keeps denying me help because my parents aren’t complete assholes, and every place I apply to looks […]
I told my parents that I am bipolar-2 and that they must not tell anybody in the family or outside the family before I explain what that means. Â People think bipolar = crazy, schizophrenic, split personality, criminal, nuts… Â you get the idea. Â These types of labels pretty much sink a person’s life completely.
Nobody wants to hire you. Â No one that was in your social circle would be a recommendation. Â No job prospects. Â Not money. Â No lady wants to be with a man who cannot even get a job. Â Family throws you out because they think that the reason you can’t find a job is because […]
I have tried it all. I hate therapy. I hate it. I went in with an open mind, I swear. I didn’t want to take medication. And I didn’t want my parents involved. I was forced to have a family session. I was pressured into seeing a “crazy” doctor. He gave me stuff. I never even take Advil. But I said I’d try for my boyfriend. I constantly forgot. Constantly. Even when I set alarms. Therapist guiled me about it every time we met. Set second appointment with doctor. Ended up not being able to go. Now, he says my parents have to be involved […]