i was happy once, i know i was..just cuz i cant remember it doesnt mean it didnt happen. right? burn after burn nothing gets better, cut after cut. pill after pill. and im still the same.. nothing will change will it? i will never be good enough for my parents. i dont understand why i even care about their opinion. i hate them but since theyre my parents i have to love them… i wish my life was different.. i wish i was happy.. i wish i was dead.. and thats the truth.. life would be much better without me.. no one can deny it.. […]
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Parents
i got a girlfriend! woohooo. asked her out on tuesday. she said yes. so now me and her are together.. but shes pretty busy so we dont get to hang out much.
i told one of my friend about how i have a girlfriend and hes like “what? but you’re not a lesbian.” and that just pissed me off. yah im not a lesbian. im pansexual.
i burnt my finger last night.. got bored so i was melting plastic with my lighter and it dripped onto my finger, i hope it doesnt get infected..
got a new look, more punk now and i LOVE it. tho i do […]
I used to think I would find love one day. Now I just think I’m unfit for it. I’ve never had a boyfriend, or a first kiss, or anything. I would even settle for a girlfriend at this point, if she cared about me. I’m not sure if I’m a lesbian. I’m so confused. Whenever I look at other women I think they are prettier and more appealing than men… but I still am attracted to the opposite sex. Does this make any sense? It doesn’t matter though, because I can’t even make friends. All my friends last for one semester of college, then I don’t see them again. I feel like […]
Alone In This Cruel World That So Many People Call Home While My Thoughts Brutally Attack Themselves
by Miss.Mayhem
written by Miss.Mayhem
I’ve attempted to write my suicide note. Or notes I should say. I’m not even done with the one to my love. It’s like 4 pages long already and not even close to being finished. Do I know if I’m going to commit suicide? No. I just want everything ready for when and if it does happen. I see it being a 30 to 70%. 30% being I won’t attempted it. The other 70% is I will. Probably not now but latter.
Tomorrow and Thanksgiving and I’m not sure what to be thankful for. My family resents me. My friends will eventually turn their backs on me. What’s […]
Just want to say to all who is in hard time at the moment, STAY STRONG, you were born to make a diference in this world.
You are just so much better than those people or things that upset you, who ignoring you, who or what makes you scared… There are people who love you and who DO care for you, they may be near, or you’ll meet them later in your life (you sure will), and they need you. Think about them. Do not be selfish. You are wonderful, beautiful and this world needs you!
Believe in yourself! I DO!
Read some books, look for answers, talk to somebody, look in to yourself, try […]
All i can think about is suicide. In the daytime, at school, at home, in the shower, outside, and especially at when i go to bed. Does anyone else think of suicide that much? It’s strange, there’s really not much to think about it, but i can’t think about anything else. My 2 friends, the only people i’ve told, say i should talk to the school counseller. Should i go? I mean, maybe it’ll help, maybe it won’t. But i don’t like talking to people about my ‘problems’ and i don’t want it to get to my parents, i don’t want them to worry about […]
I am sick inside. Alone, overwhelmed, confused, and filled with hatred for myself and regret for my life. I should never have been born. I told my dad that once, and he said it was an insult to him and to my mother. The funny thing was, he said it as if he thought it wasn’t meant to be. Well, it was. They were too young for kids when they had me. They were irresponsible, and their own parents were irresponsible. And you can probably trace it all the way back to the Stone Age. Too many people who had no business raising kids. And […]
To whoever may concern,
Although I am young I already feel it is time to stop running well that is how I feel. I am running from my feelings, my emotions for the better good of others. I don’t want to ‘live’. I don’t need to ‘live’. I have read other story’s and they were the truth. I show no sympathy because I have spent so long hiding what feel that I no longer feel. I’m just empty. A ghost of what I should be. Today my ‘friend’ almost got hit by a car […]
I couldn’t do it. I got home from sneaking out, couldn’t get back in, had to call my parents then got yelled at. Heaps of guilt! YAY! They’re at wits end with me, said they wished I’d just get it over with. Well you know what? I wish that too. I don’t know why it hurts so goddamn much, and I have no reason for this pain. My life is perfect, and with these pills I can’t feel anything. I fucking hate it. I can’t cry, I’m empty, broken, alone within myself. I hate me, the girl who looks like an attention whore but only […]
Don’t know if it relevant, but needed some advice.
I just got back from Boston. I live in Oxford, UK.
I am coming back to Oxford to face another problem of mine.
I have a best friend, we only be together about like 3 months but he is so nice to me.
A few weeks ago, I was drunk, really drunk. I didn’t remember much thing, apparently I texted him to come to pick me up. It was 1.30 am. He came, took me all the way back from the city centre to my room, put me in bed. The next morning, Â I found out about everything. He couldn’t […]
Oh god, who do i think i am? What exactly is my problem? I’m so confused and angry with myself. Sometimes, i mean most times, when i try to do my hair and everything, i just look in the mirror and burst out crying and get really frustrated by pulling on hair, hurting myself and swear at myself. Grrrr i hate being me -.- Sometimes, i might be happy, slightly happy anyway. And for some reason, i miss being sad and something just doesn’t feel right. And then i remember the bad days that’ll come soon and i get anxiety. Man, i’m retarded.
God, i’m so […]
I never thought it would come to this. Feeling sad and alone, sitting here looking at what I have done, and all that I know I will do. I think about suicide every day. I just look around and think ” If I jumped off that building, I would probably die.” Or ” If I open the car door and jump, I’ll be roadkill.” It’s constant. I have scars. I have tears. But most people around here don’t really understand. If I told my parents they would freak out. If I committed suicide then my siblings, they might blame themselves.  I’m at a dead end road, […]
hi. my name is unimportant, but i am 13 years old. young, right? i know. please don’t judge me or complain and say i have so much to live for. i just want to say my story, and say how i feel.
two years ago around summertime, my parents split up. it was hard on me to drag my stuff back and forth. it was okay though because it was only a walk up the street. my mom was diagnosed with cervical cancer in december that same year. my dad had accused her of having an affair while she was undergoing chemotherapy and radiation therapy. i […]
Here’s the suicide note I’m thinking of using:
I’m through living a life whose defining characteristic is being depressed.
I have what would appear to others to be a good life. I have parents who love me (albeit from 3000 miles away), good friends (albeit almost all of whom are married and so not as available to their single friends anymore), and a good job (albeit one I no longer have any interest in because I don’t have any interest in anything). In short, I have what appears to be a good life, albeit, it isn’t.
I’ve been depressed for ten years now (give or take), and I’ve […]
I feel very lost and I don’t know what to do (I’m a guy). I’m currently attending my local college and am in a two year program with 4 semesters in total. I’m currently in semester number 5 and I’m failing miserably. I CAN NOT tell my parents. My father might understand if I really talk to him, man-to-man, but there is very little chance of that and my mother simply won’t accept failure from me again. I previously attended university for biological sciences and I failed out of that. I finally built up the courage to tell my parents that sciences weren’t my thing […]
I’m 21, (ya I know I’m young) .. My whole life has been nothing but suffering. I’ve been bullied since I could remember. I’ve had my ups and down’s but have been depressed for many years. It’s at its worst right now. I don’t have a licence, I don’t have a job, I don’t have highschool, I will never see college. I don’t even know what I want to do for my future. I don’t even see me having a future. My boyfriend left me because he “doesn’t love me” anymore. He can’t understand what I’m going through. We still talk. He’s going to be dating someone […]
Some time this week, I was planning on cutting my arm really bad and then going to the nurse and counselor about it. What do you guys think would happen? Would they send me straight from school to a psychiatric hospital? Would they just call my parents and have them start taking me to a psychiatrist?
I don’t need you advice! I don’t need you sympathy! I just want you to LISTEN!
I don’t do this ’cause I want attention, well not from the world, but from you.
I just want to hear you say “I LOVE YOU” and mean it with all your heart!
Did you know that every time we talk on the phone I can’t wait to hear you say “I LOVE YOU“.
Sometimes that is the only reason I call, but sometimes it never comes.
People say that “Love” is thrown around so much that it means less.
Not to me!
Every time I hear […]
Read on my fellow crazies. Let’s see, where to start? I guess the beginning. When I was five, my parents got divorced. Not a big deal right? Tons of parents get divorced and a lot of kids get to visit every other weekend or something. Well my dad packed me, my two sisters, and little brother up and brought us all the way from Ohio to New Hampshire. Leaving my mom behind. I got to see her in the summers and Christmas break for a week or so. My second-to-oldest sister had an over-eating disorder and was the first to move out of that madhouse to […]
Alright. Never thought I’d post anything here, but after reading a lot of your stories, I feel like sharing mine. Please bear with me.
Where to start? I’m 27, have the best parents in the world, a great brother and a bunch of friends that I could hang out with. I graduated last June, but haven’t looked for a job, I’ve done nothing with my life really. I’ve just been depressed, scared of the outside. The thing is, I always saw it coming all along.
Basically I’m “afraid” of people and what they think of me. The fact that I studied journalism doesn’t make it any easier, […]