Tag:

Partner

Flying to a Funeral – I need your support

by lilxtina 2/10/2017

written by lilxtina

On Sunday I will be flying to the United States to attend my partners funeral. We were in a long distance relationship and I hadn’t seen him in over a year, due to financial reasons. We talked everyday, until it happened.

Our love was like no other and anyone who has read my previous posts will know how much I loved him with all my heart and still do.

I have been having sleepless nights and hardly been eating anything at all, frequent anxiety attacks hit me when I think about making the long flight from Australia to USA. I know anxiety will hit me ten times […]

2/10/2017 8 comments

I woke up choking, what does it mean?

by lilxtina 2/9/2017

written by lilxtina

My partner and the love of my life passed away last week and I am in constant despair and disbelief.

Since his passing I’ve tried to kill myself by overdose on ibuprofen and even put a knife to my chest on 2 occasions (survival instincts kicked in). I was found by my sister and mum when I overdosed and so I am still here, to wallow in my pain and misery. If you want to know more you can read my other post.

Anyway, last night I was asleep and in the dream world (its the only way I can escape from the pain), and something strange […]

2/9/2017 3 comments

I have severe depression

by lilxtina 2/9/2017

written by lilxtina

I have always had depression; never fully diagnosed, but you know, when you have something like depression it lingers and consumes you, eventually. Ive recently gone through what is the most traumatic experience of my life, last week my partner passed away, age 28.

Since his passing, I haven’t been able to eat or sleep properly, I wake up with stiffness and pain all over my body and I have lost so much weight because I cant stomach anything. I have anxiety attacks when I think about the funeral and even just walking on the street or waking up seems to put me in a panic […]

2/9/2017 7 comments

I wanted to share my story…

by ClaudiaValencia 11/8/2015

written by ClaudiaValencia

I am really nervous about sharing my story as I dont want to say anything that will bother or upset anyone 🙁 but i will try my best to express myself in a way in which no one will be upset by.

I was born in Venezuela and i moved to the united states when i was 3, iam 17 and almost 18 now. (forgive me for not mentioning where in the USA i live)

I am really grateful to this country because it has given me great opportunity where as in Venezuela I would most likely not amount to much (not that i will ever amount […]

11/8/2015 9 comments

Dark day in a hellish life

by Anon1962 9/17/2015

written by Anon1962

Things are not going well in my relationship with my partner. After 7 years, seems he is done with me, not that he says that. But how else can I interpret his behaviour. It terrifies me. And I feel so hurt and used. I gave so much and didn’t get nearly as much.

I’ve been so sad. The other day I was reviewing in detail how I would kill myself, and it made me more upset and sadder somehow. Some part of me was fighting against it, now that I felt I was about ready to go through with it, nothing external holding me back anymore, […]

9/17/2015 5 comments

First time here, guess why.

by WSiff 5/19/2015

written by WSiff

I was searching for some advices or people’s stories to give me some courage to finally commit suicide. I am a mild aspie, obsessive about games and animes(I stopped with both for a while, after the reality shoved on the truth on my face).

Sorry for the long text and I would appreciate if you could read it all and give your opinion. English isn’t my first language.

Since I remember I have an odd behavior, sensitive feet and skin over certain textures, need to separate food on the plate to eat in a certain order, cleanliness, very strict about the position of my toys and obsession over […]

5/19/2015 34 comments

Living with suicide

by cj1210 12/14/2014

written by cj1210

A psychologist gave me a booklet for ‘the bereaved’ to inform me on what I would feel in the coming weeks/months/years. Seeing as every time I start to read the shitty booklet I bawl my eyes out, I’ve decided to write about what I am feeling and hope to feel in the coming weeks/months/years. I hope that in writing this, others who may find themselves in a similar disastrous situation can get some sort of comfort in knowing that shit luck affects a lot of people.

First of all, my boyfriend committed suicide. We were at my house arguing, it was an ongoing insecurity fight that […]

12/14/2014 7 comments

Becoming Who Broke Me – Relationships

by LilliEstLucifer 8/3/2014

written by LilliEstLucifer

This is a question that I am posting in hope of an answer, most of my other posts are simply because I need to get it off my chest, but this is a life situations I really need help on.

Maybe this isn’t the place to do it, but, well it links in.

I am a rape victim, I was caught up in an verbally, physically and sexually abusive relationship in my teens.

I have been with my partner for 2 years now, we have discussed engagement and everything is okay. That is exactly why I feel so trapped, it’s just so – ‘okay’. I mean we have […]

8/3/2014 7 comments

Is it today?

by blacksheep989 2/2/2014

written by blacksheep989

I have spent a long time reading through this site. But never posted.

For the last 3 years now is struggled with depression, caused by job stress, relationship etc. Over the last two month I hit a patch where my job and my boss brought me right down. I’d entertained the idea of suicide, but could never go any further than that because of my partner, whom I love very much.

So for two months I’ve fought back, getting back to a healthy state, then on saturday night, after a good day in the sun, drinking and enjoying my time with my partner and friends, I go […]

2/2/2014 17 comments

my life

by givenupforever 5/11/2013

written by givenupforever

i havent had a brilliant life so far im 24 i hate my life been in and outa hospital all my life been self harming for years had too many suicide attempts and cant do it anymore was a hard childhood sexual emotional and physical abuse by family now my only friend in this town has decided she doesnt want anything to do with me and wont tell me why my partner is sleeping all the time he slept all through his birthday i cant cope doing everything my mental health nurse doesnt believe that im bad so she wont help i have no other […]

5/11/2013 5 comments

stalemate (I’m a brand new user)

by walkingcontradiction 1/20/2013

written by walkingcontradiction

I try to plan an effective way to kill myself, how to do so in a way that would still put my organs to good use, how to do so in a way that minimizes the chance of survival etc. etc. but as I am being comforted by my planning, the people I am close to in my life pop up in my mind. Then my resolve disappears.

I couldn’t do something like that to them, whether or not I manage to make it look like an accident. I’ve never experienced someone close to me dying so I have no idea how painful it actually […]

1/20/2013 7 comments

I’m still here?

by shasha22 6/26/2012

written by shasha22

Well, the title explains it all. All is left is to fix a date to suicide. I can’t seem to find the courage because I have to leave my family behind. All I’m worried about is what if I survived? What if I’m there lying on the bed and looking at my parents looking at me with full of disappointment. I gotta make it successful. I can’t fail this time. This has to be done. I can’t wait to end the misery, but I just don’t know when. Now it does, because I’m gonna do it all alone, and nobody knows about it. I […]

6/26/2012 2 comments

catching my last train tonight

by taramara 5/21/2012

written by taramara

i’ve done it. i’ve made the decision to end my life. though tears are running down my face, i couldn’t be happier. i feel so peaceful, genuinely happy. a feeling i’ve never felt inmy life before. i’m not giving up, i’m just giving in. for years i’ve felt like an empty shell, being carried by the river out to sea to be drowned and i don’t mind. i don’t really want to die, i suppose, i just want to rest my head. i’m okay with it, i accept this situation. may my body be the last i see and my heartbeat the last that i […]

5/21/2012 7 comments

I have ended my marriage…

by Verkitso 2/8/2012

written by Verkitso

…and I feel terrible. I married 11 years ago and she was diagnosed with bipolar a few months later. Since then, we’ve had good times, bad times, up times and down times. There have even been normal times. But she changed meds three years ago and got very ill. Since then, I’ve done everything I can and it’s made me very, very ill. I crashed late last year and had to be rescued by a friend who became my partner. I’m weighed down with guilt and self-loathing and all I can think about is ending it.

My real name is Richard, by the way, not Verkitso. […]

2/8/2012 15 comments

A moment of levity.

by deadright 1/30/2012

written by deadright

As with most things lately a lot of shit is spoiling my plans for self deliverance but something happened a couple of hours ago that was more shit, but kind of funny.

I was in my basement cleaning an old M1 Garand Rifle that I need to sell to get some money, when I heard a loud banging on my door; no one calling just banging on the front and back door.Â I figured it was either my landlord or some other bill collector so I did not answer the door and just hid…as usual.

After a few minutes, it stopped and I went upstairs to the […]

1/30/2012 0 comment