I’ve landed back at my mom’s after yet another bipolar misfortune and It’s just torture to see how happy they are here. I am the weird vampire with  permanently shut curtains in an enclosed chamber that forcibly goes out only when strictly necessary. Still the door is not thick enough to prevent my family’s loud and constant laugher from reaching my ears. I get to hear their phone conversations and how they constantly make plans to meet others, go out to restaurants, country houses, trips and even to have sex. I want to strangle them. They once asked me, would you rather all of us […]
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People
Suicide I Can Never Complete
My empty blue eyes can see no way out,
My soul keeps on screaming but no one can hear,
Life is my prison and I can’t break out,
But I try, and try, and try.
The brightest colors no longer exist,
Black and grey is all there’s left now,
You try to reach out,
But I’m too far away now.
Don’t say that I’m smart,
And don’t call me beautiful,
Even if you mean it,
I can’t tell the difference between truth and a lie.
I’ll drown in the tears I can no longer cry,
And I’ll swallow the pills I can never […]
I have thought and battled trust me, I have got myself out of some really downward states. the thing is though I cant change my life, my external life, Ive changed my internal one but my external one remains empty. I struggle to accept that while I am good looking/ wise/ good hearted/ fun (if im in the right mood) my looks and who I am just means nothing to the majority of women. I guess my problem is in my empty life that I have come to rely on dating sites instead of real life.
Im 34 , good looking and the only woman who seems into me […]
Hi,
let me get straight to the point im a normal boy who is determined to have something that satisfy me. I was sponsored in a university i left my country 3wks ago and i arrived in a different world so when i got in i had one thing in my mind (i am number one). Then those goofs said that i should take theology i protested by saying i am not interested with islamic theology. I called my parents they were dissapointed but they said (study my son i know u can do this) i accepted it and another shocking news is that i […]
I went through a lot since I last posted here. My parents found out I skipped a lot of school and when they asked me why I tried to tell them that I’m depressed, I even showed my mom this site. But she said that I’m making this up because I don’t want to tell her the real reason, which is not true. She even asked me if I even know what depression is. It’s been a while since then now and I actually felt better. I changed my school this year and I made a lot of friends in my new class. I actually […]
The only reason I am living is for others. My family, friends, and people I dont even know. I would have committed suicide by now, but ive told my friend not to tell anyone so if i end up doing it the burden will be on his shoulders. I dont know what to do. I havent told my parents or anything because i cant face them. I am a coward they would feel terrible, they would feel failure as parents if i told them. My life seems to have no meaning. Seems that nothing can make me happy. When something does make me happy it […]
The round colorful combination is deadly
Tomorrow this will all be through.
Finally an end to my torment
They’d understand if only they knew
Raising the glass and I open my hand…
The thoughts of loved flash through my head
I drop the pills to the floor
It’d kill tomorrow if today I was dead.
Upstairs working on the computer
An electric shock as I look at the plug
The reaction is deadly assisted with water
rising my little brother  tackles me with a hug.
I sit back down grimace him a smile.
I can’t kill myself infront of my brother
He’d be dissappointed if he knew this is all he had for a sister
I could not bear his […]
How people easily believe that we’re doing fine when we are smiling.
sometimes we just get tired of pretending ..
Crying doesn’t help..
Screamin out loud ..no one hears us..
drinkin..it’ll only knock us out for a while..
Cutting, make a body art.. it’s gettin painless..
we’re all alone in this world..
Have you ever had a moment where you’re just thinking, not about anything in particular.. and those innocent thoughts take a nasty turn? Next thing you know you’re talking yourself out of hurting yourself. Moments of insanity I like to call them. When something in your head shifts ever so slightly and everything you’ve stuffed and hidden inside for twenty years tries to get out? It over loads the brain and you just want to make it stop. You’d do anything for the memories and the pain to leave.
I’ve never been able to fully tell anyone the whole story. Why not a bunch of random […]
i can create a beautiful life in my imagination. i am able to share my imagination with people. however, i can’t live the beautiful life which my inspired imagination painted for me. my ideals that ostensibly obstruct my connection with humanity are strangling me now. i am a man who lives in a constant fear state. i live out my life in other worlds that are not real since i cannot live in this one. it’s not that i want to die so much as it is that i can’t live. i will always be half of a great man. never a great man. a […]
Hello guys, (edit: why is my post all written in green? its hard to read :S highlighting the text with your mouse helps)
I’ve been thinking about suicide pretty much my entire life. This is going to be quite straight up but bear with me. First, let’s talk a bit about myself so you now a little bit more about who’s writing this.
I am now 23 years old, on my last year of university here in Quebec, Canada. I’ve been studying marketing since I’ve always been really good at selling and customer service. My real passions, however, are sports, videogames and marijuana. Yes, marijuana. I won’t […]
Hello.
I think I’ll start with introducing myself so that, you know who I am and you won’t have to put it all together in confusion.
My name is James, but I like to be called Jamie. It’s more fitting and all of my friends call me that.
I’m 16 and enduring my Junior year of high school, Â so far the hardest year of my life.
There are many things that make me sad, which seems to be the case for most sincere people on this site, so I’ll just break my rant up into parts according to what’s going on.
My Brain
The thoughts that I have are so unorganized, […]
Everyone has troubles. It’s life. Everyone endures bullshit from time to time. Though some, in fact, are worse than others. I’ve never told anyone any of this before. And to be honest, I’m scared. I’m afraid of being judged. Of being misunderstood in my story. But I’ll tell you.
Here goes nothing.
I’m seventeen years old, and a senior in high school. I’ve always made decent grades, and am well liked by most people. I’m the funny chunky girl. Here’s the catch. I’m dying on the inside. I feel so.. broken. So lost. And to be honest, I’ve felt this way for years. I put a smile […]
Yesterday I got into a very suicidal mood which is totally isn’t me, or so I thought. I laid in bed all day and would have rather been dead than have done anything else. I’ve been depressed for the past few months after my mom cheated on my dad and they’re now going through a nasty divorce. I don’t talk to my mom anymore even though we still live in the same house. I feel really alone and like no one understands. I’m 14, I have a whole life ahead of me and I already want to die? It just doesn’t seem right. I want […]
Just a shitty day… or a couple.
A day like today where I wake up feeling okay, and then I start thinking about all the things I’ve ever done wrong. And then I start thinking about how I’m a shitty person. And then, on top of that, I feel like I have zero things to offer. I try so fucking hard to be good at things, at art, at programming… I’m in college, getting decent grades and busting my ass… But I hate everything I’ve ever done. I’ve never accomplished anything and I feel worthless. I’m a huge sagging disappointment to myself. I feel ugly; I […]
i dont what to do anymore… when i was a kid i always got beaten by my parents sumtimes for nothing… i always saw my father beat my mother and out of anger my mother beating herself…. my mother once told me she never wanted me and my father says no point of having a daughter cuz i don’t have interest in cooking or cleaning …. my parents got divorced after living with each other for more that 10 years… after their divorce none of my friends wud ever talk to me till today been 10 yrs nw and i dont have a single friend….. […]
Lucy4 your qonna love this.
Lowkey slash my version of the sonq….”Every verse (sentence) should be treated like the Mona Lisa Is”.
You should care more about what I write about my life Instead of me “crappinq on qrammer” or whatever you said.Where Is the old SP?You know the one where people didn’t judqe me on how I spell………..
Whatever It’s okay I still qot love for everyone on here.Main objective (for me edleast) make everyone feel Important on here cause well I’m on suicide forum.
No matter how much yall meet me with hate I still have love for yall.I had to find a suicide forum to know […]
I’m too sane for this crazy world. You can’t be a man who’s word means something in a world filled with liars & manipulators. I know. I was one of those once. I did the work to change. I made my name synonymous with integrity and honor. I fought every day for my family, for others, for the underdog. Then one day everything I worked for was demolished by the person who I thought cared the most. Someone who placed the blame for their choices, choices they made years before I ever met them, on my shoulders. And I looked around and no one was […]
I started cutting myself again,now i know im not alone now i know theres two other people in my class cutting there self.
Knowing all the video i’ve seen on youtube that they have.I found it easier now i know.I cant let my mom find out this time or its back to care for me and thats not happening,i cant have that.My mom says cutting is a bad thing but to me its a way of coping.
Anyone know best tips to hide self harm from parents???pleawse
Hi all, in a way I not to sure what led me to this site, i guess I’m just looking for a place to vent how i feel without feeling like I’m “bringing people down” or in need of “growing up”.
I don’t really now where to start, kind of like how my life feels, just lost and floating around hoping for things to change or just get easier, lately iv felt so down i don’t know how to get back to feeling “OK”, I feel like i wake up each day expecting things to change but then i lie my head down at night and […]