People toss around words like “hate” and “love” pretty often and yet they don’t know what either truly feels like. I thought I knew what hate was at one point, but I got over it and let it go. Then I met someone who caused me the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life. There hasn’t been a day in all these years I haven’t thought of that person, I dream about them, I think about them often enough when I wake up, during the day, and especially at night. Sometimes I picture resolving things with them but that’s extremely rare and not possible […]
I think jumping off a building is the way I want to go.. When I do go or when I have the guts. I could run up the stair well to the top of a huge skyscraper. Then once at the top I could look down at the world of cruelty, pain and evil and for the first time since I came into this world, I can smile and truly mean it. I can stretch out my arms like a bird and jump like a child jumps happily when they are younger. Then I can fall effortlessy from this skyscraper and FLY. Then if I […]
I think that I have been dead for a long time or maybe more enlightened than the rest of the world but I just feel so lost and alone with no one to connect to. Its not that people don’t connect to me, its just that I am wading and others are holding on to me as I am drowning, I don’t know how much longer I can do it.
I’m not really sure what made me register for this website. it’s just something inside of me made me think that finally I have found people that might understand. I feel ugly fat worthless. I feel like if I die nobody would notice. I started cutting about febuary. I stopped for about a month. then I started again. I want to just take a knife and slit me throat. I want to die. it’s just that noone cares. some people say they do but then they act like I am just… I don’t know. just a peice of trash. they don’t really care. I want […]
so i’ve heard that there are good people in the world. and i have this stepfather who is generally an angel. but he’s, i would suppose, human. human in that-
somewhere, deep down, when nobody’s looking, people are petty, blind, stupid, immature, ingenuine, farcical, prejudiced, lying, selfish, ungrateful, sex-driven, etc. in some way
and i just can’t stand being surrounded by all of it. for some reason i suspect everybody of having these ugly sides. i’m all of the above too. and for some reason i just can’t stand that this is the world we live in. i usually ignore it but today it just drove me […]
Okay, well this is my story..
I’m quite young and I’m broken. I’m depressed and suicidal, clearly.. and i selfharm. I put on the fakest smile every single day. I’m miserable, I just want to be dead, to be free, to be happy. I have tried to take my own life many times, I don’t really have a massive story. But my depression has taken over me, my self eestem is horrible, I can’t leave the house without crying, I’m horribly fat and aswell so ugly. I hate leaving the house because I usually don’t have the nicest clothes because i’m not rich, my family struggles […]
Nobody in my town or my age seem to understand the idea that their actions effect other people as well. It has been a year and a half since I attempted suicide, yet nothing has gotten better. My final year in high school was complete hell. I was tormented by a group of girls who used to be my best friends. Day after day they told me how no one likes me or wants me around. They repeatedly shouted names down the hallway at me or spread rumors about me being pregnant. This summer they have peanut-buttered/egged/balognied my car twice. Then, try countless times to […]
My name is Brittnee and I am 20 years old! I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and sentenced to a life of medication and therapist analyzing my every thought and move! I have been a cutter for 6 years and after my recent suicide attempt my parents made me move back home and my mother does a ~fresh cut check~ every single night. That’s where I have to go into her room and strip down to my bra and panties and she checks my body for new cuts! It’s humiliating. If I do have new cuts I am taken to the behavioral health […]
Just when my life takes a turn for the better, it takes another for the worse. I’m still dealing with the same shit, but now the people I put in prison for raping / helping rape me got released (biggest load of bullshit out -.-) and now I think my boyfriend wants to split just because I want to go to University in a different state to make sure I get the best education and experience. He always brings up leaving all the bullshit here and just leaving somewhere with me, so I offered him to come or to have a long distance relationship and […]
I wanna die… I have the resources to do it but instead I’m writing this…
My name is Derek and I’m from South Africa and I’m 21 years old. I guess I have what you would call an average life. My life was always great and I was someone who was always happy, always smiled, was always optimistic, I really loved life… Until a year or two ago…
Three years ago my mom had died(from organ fauilure due to diabetes) and that was the end of the little perfect family that we had, we’d never had much but we were always happy. After that my dad and […]
i feel ugly inside, like i have nothing positive to offer the people of earth. all the wrong things bring me joy and the right things make me feel uncomfortable. i laughed at a disabled woman on saturday and it was the hardest and most enjoyable laugh that ive had in months. i look forward to other peoples misery and usually slink away from smiling faces and the stories behind them.
what am i? i dont believe in anything(angels, demons etc) so im just a disturbed human. ive been hurt to the point that other peoples hurt is all that i crave; hurt people hurt […]
Hi my name is Kim and I am 15. You’re probably going to think I’m just another overly dramatic high school girl. Im not I have been through more shit than people should have to go through by the time they are 15. My dad died when I was 11 but my suffering started earlier in life. My dad drank a lot and when he did he would physically abuse me but when I turned 9 he didn’t drink as often but I’m left with mental scarring and get scared if someone raises a hand near me. He got leukemia when I was 10 and […]
Some people may skim, not look at this post or think I’ve gone insane.. But for the past few nights I’ve been having vivid nightmares.. The same ones continuing every night. Where someone i love takes me and touchers me, beats me, and cuts my sides open with a pocket knife not sharp but sharp enough to make my sides bleed. After they would bandage me, wait for it to heal and do it all over again. Its really scary but one of my friends said “Meg ur ok its just a dream, its not actually happening you’ll b fine” Â To him that maybe […]
I’m realizing where’s no reason to keep indulging with procrastination. Having another week or another day of just letting time flow is meaningless.
Searching for the best method is a way to tell yourself you’re not really ready yet. I just settled for the simplest thing to put together and got a rope. Right now I’m writing notes for the only two people I care they get a note, I scrapped my idea of writing notes for everyone else, it’s not worth the hassle.
I’m giving myself 48 hours to accomplish this goal, it’s more than enough time. If you don’t read anything else it’s because I […]
Just a little preface, I am a 26 year old male who works for the biggest telecommunications company in Canada (I cant say who….) as an Install/Repair technician. I am only mentioning this because it will tie together further on.
Well, I had this one REALLY bad day, and I had suicidal thoughts which would not go away. I wanted to die, just like most other days… I have this one way bridge near my house, and I figured it would be good to hang from. It is a one way bridge, and a few people I know would see me there… The bridge is for […]
I know how some people wanna be skinny and thin but I don’t. I’m 15 years old and don’t have an eating disorder i’m just VERY skinny. I hate it I get made fun of a lot and get called chicken legs or twig. People make fun of me and say i’m anorexic. When I go to get clothes I can find anything that fits me. Also lately Ive been lonely my friends ignore me and don’t talk to me for reasons I don’t know. Ive been thinking about cutting and suicide lately. I always think about if I did die no one would miss me or notice. I just want to be loved and be comfortable on how I look.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
people keep telling me I deserve to be happy to know I’m a good person.I wish I could believe that. I kept asking if she was happy. she asked me back. I told her I didn’t matter. truth is I knew I was never good enough for her.
how do you let go of the best thing that ever happened to you
Dear Jackie, I remember a lot of years you had a lot of issues. I saw the cuts on your wrist.. and when we asked you, you told us they were the cat. I guess I believed you at first but then it came clear. your step father raped you.. you had deliberatley hurt yourself.. I was wrong to say all of the things I said to you in front of people.. I didnt know how hard it was to deal with those things. I truly am sorry.. I now know what its like to feel these feelings.. I know what its like to be […]
im going to kill myself tonight. im just finished. i cant cope anymore. too much has gone wrong for too long and my body and mind are so tired. i cant deal with being sad and cutting all the time anymore. i need relief. i need to feel at peace again, and the only way to get that release is death. nobody can convince me otherwise. and i dont want people saying im selfish either, because guess what i dont have anyone that loves me anymore and i certainly wont be missed. i dont want that “youre special and unique” BULLSHIT either. cuuuuuz guess what, no im not! billions […]