lately all i can do is laugh, its all so fucking funny,
its funny how i am such a pathetic person that has pity on himself while nothing bad enough has happened to me, its also funny how everything hurts, its funny that i am writing this and i am only now realising how terrible i am feeling, its funny how i can’t stop hating myself for a second. its funny how i never have any rest, its funny how i keep telling myself i don’t care , its funny how i love pain, how i love being treated like shit by my father, i […]
I can’t do it anymore I’m only 14 a girl can only take so much I wish the last time I tried killing myself worked I have noone to talk to so here I am and still people won’t probly care sadly being raped by your father and friend for years and finally getting away and now your stepdad is a creep also is hard for me I try to be a good person and help a lot of people but I have no one but my boyfriend that’s not enough for me I miss my sisters I can’t see them because my family on […]
I feel so lost, empty, broken…. Frozen… My story is a complicated one, and may seem silly, or tragic, or maybe I’m not seeing what really is here. I’m sick of the hate and small minds of this world, so don’t any of you creatures say anything evil, and open your minds to try and understand this…
I’m one of the most understanding people in this world, full of light, acceptance, true heart and everything thats good, and truly know whats REALLY right from wrong. Growing up, I had the perfect life, amazing friends who I loved, great family, even though sometimes I was a brat, […]
DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them […]
Where words are used to make others feel like shit and break people’s spirits. Where actions are used to break people’s bones. Where people use others to make themselves feel better and get better things.Â
Where people have a materialistic view on everything. When someone acts different, then they are looked down upon. Society is fucked up. Why do we keep on trying to thrive? We cause others to feel more pain than pleasure. So much so that they can’t ever recover.Â
Why do we think that having someone living is much better than freedom through death? The basis of a democracy is to let people do […]
4th of July is in two days, that’s the day i had planned to end it all. I have this amazing guy who walked into my life and makes thinks better but life is still hard. I stooped taking my meds bcz i wanted to think clearly on whether i would go trough with my plans or not. I still have no idea of what im going to end up doing. My boyfriend does not make it easier on me. He knows all about it and he does not want to lose me, he said he can see himself marrying me in the future. I […]
well the other day my friend and I were talking about self harm. She said that reopening wounds was a form of self harm but I said no its just curiosity well I’m here asking people opinion about it.
Is it really considered self harm?
Okay it’s me again and I’m feeling really stupid for bothering you with every wee thing, but I just really can’t cope atm. I have this problem: I tell the people that hurt me, my parents, those who’ve abused me all my life and who made me the wreck I am, everything about my feelings. I know that’s not smart, but usually soon after they’ve managed to bring me down enough so that I’m in a state of depression and anxiety, they’ ll want to ” talk” about it and they’ll even tell me they’re sorry, and especially in my Dad’s case that he ” […]
Hello everyone. I don’t understand my depression and often times I want to kill myself for being so goddamn fucking stupid and putting my boyfriend through hell. Me and my brother both have clinical depression. This isn’t something that can be fixed with just “positive thinking”. We need our anti-depressents. I hate to say the most cliche thing any depressed person could ever say but I really have always been a lonely person who never could hold a friendship. Kids wouldn’t tease me,They would belittle me. This isn’t what has made me depressed but this has shaped my lack of social skills. This world and […]
I turned 21 earlier this mont. Even though im mucch like a child, I feel so jaded and far from my memories. This is my last real birthday worth celebrating. All down hill from here. For about 6 months i’ve been making some feeble attempts at planning a future. I cant bring myself to actively work towards it. I dont want to work or study the rest of my days away. I dont care to date, or try to keep up with the jones. Im bitter. Im lonely aznd i’ve learned that life is nothing but a series of ups and downs. Most people […]
I realise now that I have a problem. Actually scrap that, I always knew. The difference is that I am now ready to admit that I have a problem. So much has happened in my life and being the stubborn person I am, I pushed it all inside and pretended it didn’t matter. Now it has all come at me at once. Flashes of trauma, whether they be emotional, physical and even the few sexual from my past have come back and I can no longer live normally. I don’t sleep (without medication or alcohol), I barely eat, I’m always so sad, angry or anxious. […]
A couple of days ago I believed today would be the day to get this done, finally, once and for all, no more hand-wringing, no more excuses. I was prepared to deal with the dreaded pain I knew it would take to do the deed. But wouldn’t you know it, the time frame when my will was the strongest my plans were thwarted because I didn’t get to be alone like I needed to be to carry out my plan. Of late it is almost comical how bad my luck has been!!!!!!!!!! Obviously I know I just have to bide my time and wait for […]
Been thinking.
Too much.
How do you change your thought process? I’m not talking about just negativity, here. The way you think. I’ve been so analytical in my thought process that the only way to change is to constantly brainwash myself towards another way of thinking, and that’s what I need to escape from. I want to live in a more direct “Living by the moment for the moment”, not “Living in my brain about the moment in the moment”. I can’t just “live”. I don’t need a happily ever after either. Just normal conversations with a person. My father. My friend. Anyone. (Yeah, I’m a […]
A mind that asks many questions
A mind mind that realizes there will never be any answers
A pair of eyes that cry in the wrong direction
A red heart longing for affection
I know the truth
And I want my heart to stop beating
For love in another means nothing if your own is slowly depleting
I’ve hated my life and the people who had to be in it
The horrible ones
And my useless mind and it’s emotions
No I’ve done my meditation
And like a band aid it covers over the wound temporarily
And I’ve been in counselling
And few understand I’m rare you see
And […]
Well, the title says it all.
The pain is becoming unbearable.
They say that people who try to kill themselves are “selfish” and that they don’t think about the others they’ll leave behind.
But have they ever thought how is a suicidal person really feeling?
Of course they haven’t.
The feeling inside my head is starting to become physical.
It’s sort of like nasal congestion.
When you have it, you can’t breathe.
So you either try clearing your nose, or you breathe through your mouth.
But I have the SAME FUCKING FEELING INSIDE MY HEAD!
I’m literally unable to think, speak or feel anymore.
I haven’t really talked with […]
I am writing this not so much so people can comment, but because I know writing it down makes it a little easier and I find it alot easier to show/talk about this to strangers rather than feeling like I’m a nuisance to my friends. Also, I’m just going to stick to the main events, seeing as the others aren’t that important.
Last year I had a suicidal friend. He was like a brother to me and after the first time he told me he felt suicidal, I could tell the signs for the future. When I could see the signs or if he told me […]
My family hates me, they always tell me they do. I hate how i remember it when i was little, how happy we all were. Now look, im scared to go home. I hate the people i should love. It drives me insane, how my own father can scream at me ” aww you going to cry, GOOD, now you can go f*ckin cut yourself!!!” I feel numb. From all this stress and pain. It makes me wanna die, makes me think they are better off without me. I know my mom is, she already left me here. My dad already wants to. I should […]
Well, the title explains it all. All is left is to fix a date to suicide. I can’t seem to find the courage because I have to leave my family behind. All I’m worried about is what if I survived? What if I’m there lying on the bed and looking at my parents looking at me with full of disappointment. I gotta make it successful. I can’t fail this time. This has to be done. I can’t wait to end the misery, but I just don’t know when. Now it does, because I’m gonna do it all alone, and nobody knows about it. I […]
my name is robert, and i am having difficulties with life at the moment, i guess you can say that i am not as depressing , i am very strong actually but even the toughest can fall down sometimes. i have a emotional attachemtn problem , my problem is that i fell in love and i don’t know how to let go. it started of as friends typical right? but it was so great , the greatest friends you could find ;were not that regular we like to do the same things we love only horror movies , we like earie things ,murder cases,stuff like […]
Will I suddenly feel better as soon as I’m out of high school. Is that the big change. I’m sorry, but one year is long enough.Â
I waited a while, it hasn’t changed much, or I’m too focused on one thing to see it. I, instead, have been going through shitty times (yet I may have over-exaggerated a bit) and that hasn’t really motivated me to keep going.
Please I don’t wan to wait any longer. A part of me wants to end it, it’s probably when I’m most depressed. There’s another part that wants to wait it out.Â
The problem with having 2 or more perspectives/personalities […]