I don’t know what to do. Life is getting to me. It is supposed to be fun. It is supposed to be something we enjoy. It is supposed to be an adventure. For me it is different. For me it is depressing. For me it is pointless. For me it awful. Nothing has happened to me like abuse or death of a loved one. I am not attention seeking. I am just speaking for the heart. I hate living, I just don’t see the point. We wake up every morning. Force ourselves to get out of bed. Get through the day getting involved in pointless […]
Tag:
Perfect Life
Im in my 3rd year of college. In the past i never really tried to put an effort in my academics since i naturally excel at it. My family especially my parents keeps on pressuring me to excel and be the top of my year since my parents think that finally one of their children was able to “inherit” their intellect. So this semester I had tried to put some efforts in my academics but to my frustration i failed all my subjects. Everyone around me, even my friends hero worship me because they think that im so great and that not true at all […]
Okay so i have been through therapy and it made everything worse. I don’t know how to deal with all the voices inside my head telling me what i need to do i am a dyslexic fifteen year old I’m going to be a junior and i don’t want to even see tomorrow. This will be long but i have a lot of reasons i want to disappear.
One is my sister she always puts me down and makes me feel like i don’t belong in the world i wish i could tell here shes a stupid ***** and doesn’t deserve to even see me let alone talk to me.
I […]
I feel so lost, empty, broken…. Frozen… My story is a complicated one, and may seem silly, or tragic, or maybe I’m not seeing what really is here. I’m sick of the hate and small minds of this world, so don’t any of you creatures say anything evil, and open your minds to try and understand this…
I’m one of the most understanding people in this world, full of light, acceptance, true heart and everything thats good, and truly know whats REALLY right from wrong. Growing up, I had the perfect life, amazing friends who I loved, great family, even though sometimes I was a brat, […]
I want a way out, simply put, no sugar coating it.
I have an average life, I know there are people worse off, call me selfish, I just want to end it all.
I am 17, 18 in October.
I hate the thoughts if waking up in the morning on weekends. I put on the fake show, pretending to be the happy popular girl in school. (Yeah call me big headed I’ve been called worse 🙂 )
I have above average grades, Honestly never opened a book in my life, pulled three A’s in Higher maths English and ordinary Irish, did transition year, passed it […]
I’m 13. Lately, I’ve had a lot of stuff going on in my life, and here goes. Once I started secondary school, I started to get bullied, my hair looked greasy which was natural. I got called either ‘Greaseball’ or ‘Frying Pan’. It was horrible. My whole school called me it. It started to wear off. Once it wore off, I had a perfect life. My mum had just given birth to my baby brother and sister which were twins (Aged 1). I thought I had everything, I did. Then I started making new friends, and one of them I just loved. We started talking […]
My life, the world i live in… Â It confuses me so much now.. Â i try and write things down but have trouble explaiing how I feel because there is just so much to say… Â A long time ago i started to feel like i didnt know what i was doing, i didnt know where i was going or what the point was anymore… Â I fell in love with the tv show Doctor Who… Â that kept me going… i obsessed over it… Â I loved it, i created my own world where everything from Doctor Who was real. from that i kept obsessing over things. It […]
I’m screwed up and I’m broken and I don’t know how or why I came to be like this. Nothing horrible has ever happened to me and from the outside, I have a perfect life.
But somehow, I am not normal. I am steadily going completely insane and nobody has noticed, because I keep it from them. I hide my craziness because I shouldn’t have it. I don’t deserve it.
It doesn’t make logical sense for me to feel this way, but still I know that I’m screwed up. Completely and utterly fucked up and insane.
I’m too many contradictions. I don’t make sense. I can’t even explain […]
I said: “Everyone has problems.”
You said: “You don’t. Your life is perfect.”
I didn’t argue.
But I did come on here right after you left and started writing this whilst inside me everything’s all jumbled up and messy and broken.
We all have our problems, okay. I might not have a horrible home life like you. I might not have been through the same things as you. But let me promise you: I have plenty of problems.
Yes, I have what looks like the perfect life- loving family, nice house, plenty of money etc. And I do actually have all of those things. My parents raised me perfectly and I […]
Today i tried to hurt myself again, its a never ending thing.
I want to be happy i want to be normal,i want to be seen, i need some kind of friend.
Keeping every problem in everyday, smiling pretending everything is dandy.
I hate how i grew up and became socially awkward, anxious and isolated myself ..
I dont like my body image, my social life does not exist, the best friends ive had for so long dont understand me and grown out in their ways.
I cant tell a soul, not even my mom who im closest to because she would be hurt and stressed along with the problems […]
I want to disappear. I don’t think I want to die as such, I just don’t want to exist, either.
That’s it really, I just don’t want to exist anymore. If I could just flick a switch and not be here anymore, I would. I would do it straight away, no questions asked. I suppose that switch is basically a permanent one, a switch of life or death.
That’s the thing though, I’m unsure whether it’s suicide I want. I want to not be here but I don’t want to be dead.
So am I suicidal? Is it suicidal to just want to disappear?
I hate the word ‘suicide’, […]
I’m wishing every night
On that “magical” time of day
When the clock strikes11 past 11
I’m wishing for the pain to go away.
I’m wishing for Christmas this year
Not to go awry,
I’m thinking of all the world’s problems
I’m asking God why.
What did they do to be bullied
Or to be given cancer
Why all my desperate prayers
Never quite seem to get answered.
I’m thinking “Why me?”
Then instantly regretting it
Thinking of the other kids
With death and hunger setting in.
They have no food
And they must starve
And I, a selfish man,
Think that my life is hard?
But I cant help wishing
Wanting a perfect life
A life free of the pain
The heartache, the strife.
And all along
My most […]
When people use alcohol, marijuana, heroin, cocaine, (lean/sizzurp/codeine/etc), meth, and prescriptions to cope they are put in rehab centers or jail to stop their actions. (Yes the obvious is that most of those are illegal). They are told they should be sober and rational to decide how to live their lives.
Yet if one has soberly and rationally decided to end one’s life because one is tired of going through things, then one is told that they have a ‘mental issue’ and need a bevy of prescribed drugs to set them right. Many no safer on the body in the long term than illegal drugs and […]
I really never wanted to write a post on this website. Or I guess I do it’s just that I hate it when people judge me but oh well. It’s not like I have anything more to lose anyway so here goes…
I just don’t understand why dying is such a bad thing. I really don’t get it. Like why does everyone act like I’m such a freak just because I don’t want to live anymore? Is it because life really is supposed to be this wonderful perfect happy gift that never stops giving? Well if thats the case then I should really kill myself because […]
When i feel im doing something good with my life something happens that shoots me into the ground.Being the youngest of five most would think i would be the babyed one the spoiled little bastard that gets what ever i ask for.And where i have received the things i had wanted im told its just because im the baby one,not that i had done something good enough for a reward.Always being told that beauty is the only way you’ll make in the world is depressing when you find your self disgusting at times i will act as if im happy so i dont bring down […]
Older Posts