I’m sorry, she’s a good person but I’m pissed off and frustrated at her right now! I asked her again tonight when I can get my own Visa card so I can buy the peaceful pill eHandbook. She got on her high horse and said “this is a bad book I can’t do it”. I said “how is it a bad book?” She said “I did research and it gives you contacts”. I said so? I want a freaking book using my own money and I got freedom of information!!!!!!!!! She said “your crazy”. I said – let me buy the damn book! She said […]
I haven’t told anyone about cutting myself and how I think of killing myself everyday I was depressed many months ago and I told one of my friends and she helped me she went through the same thing and it’s been a long time that I cut myself and yesterday I cut myself I have a few friends who know I cut myself before so I haven’t told anyone about this and I dont think I want to it’s just who do I turn to there’s one person I want to go to that knows I was depressed before and that I cut myself the […]
I fell the pain vibrating in my skull.
I just clench my jaw and force the smile to stay on my face.
The voices ask why I even continue.
Well the singing wills me to stay strong just a little longer.
It takes an army to build me up.
But it only takes a few to knock me down.
What’s encouraging me to stay?
My mom once told me the most selfish thing you can do is take your own life.
I once said I took eight Advils.
She said she would give me the Heimlich right there at that moment.
Maybe life’s hard right now. But it’s not forever.
Some day I’ll leave this life.
And […]
So I have been clean from self harming and drug use for a whole 2 months, that was until yesterday when I did both. Yesterday was the Last teen therapy group I went to and everyone went to an amusement park together. Now I get attached very easily, so I knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye, so I took 4 pain pills. I had asked the director of the group if Ms. D (someone I got really close to) could take me home like she normally does. She told me no and I got really upset and we started arguing. When […]
This site is the only place where i can express deep sadness. I’ve never really let others know how depressed i am.
I’ve withdrawn myself from my good friends.
My work friends see me as this happy, funny person most of the times. They also know I’m a hater too.
The people i dislike think I’m mean and rude.
With so many of you out there feeling sad, how do the people in your life see you?
I take this title from one of Sylvia Plath’s final poems before her own suicide. The Phrase Crackle and Drag to me implies an afterimage, like when you watch the television screen and shut your eyes. You see phantasmagoria looming in your vision. This is what I hope to accomplish by my death. I want my loved ones to know that there is no malice nor ill-will in this action; I want them to know that I love them with a love that cannot be quantified; an immeasurable love deeper and wider than even I can believe. It Becomes more apparent as the moment approaches. […]
Hey guys.
This is like my third post in two days.
Please advise on how to handle that feeling that noone really cares and the world would be waaaaay better off without you.
Cus, i for the past one month thats all i have been thinking. Cus i am a coward, i am still alive.
People , actually, one person who i thought cared a lot just turned out to be another one who didn’t.
“There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, ‘There now, hang on, you’ll get over it.’ Sadness is more or less like a head cold- with patience, it passes. Depression is like cancer.”
? Barbara Kingsolver, The Bean Trees
“Its so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That’s above and beyond everything else, and it’s not a mental complaint-it’s a physical thing, like it’s physically hard to open your mouth and make the words come out. They don’t come out smooth and in conjunction with your brain the way normal people’s words do; they come […]
I’m going through to much lost my girl lost my relationship with my mom in the process of being kick out only 17 no family no friends no income no job ask God everyday why me why me im I a good person or a bad person was I ment to be put on earth was I a mistake sometimes I question myself is there really a God if so Why do he let stuff like this happen to people why when I pray my praises doesn’t be answer Why Do I Find Myself Crying A bout my situation why don’t he come through for […]
This was my best friend’s account. She took her own life back in June. I recovered it while going through search history. This will probably be the only post I make on her account, but I need to say something.
why? Just why? What makes a person want to commit suicide? I need answers. This has weighed on me since the funeral and I need closure.
I want to kill the fucking voices in my head, I feel suffocated
They love to torture me until I sleep.
I want to be alright, I really do but they yell at me horrible things.
“WHORE” “UGLY” “WORTHLESS” “YOU SHOULD DIE NO ONE IS GOING TO CARE” “INVISIBLE” “POINT LESS” “WASTE” “FRUSTATED” “TALENT LESS” “KEEP CUTTING, KEEP STARVING KEEP SELF HARMING YOU REALLY DESERVE IT” “YOU ARE A SUICIDE PSYCHO ***** THAT’S NOT GOING TO CHANGE”
I just want them to stop, I’m not that kind of mean person. JUST STOP.
Today, was terrible. It started off with me being lied to. Then that lead to me doing something terrible because of that lie. Next, I went throughout my whole day thinking that was a great thing I did. After school, I got a text asking why I did that terrible thing from the person I did it to. I asked about the lie and they said it wasn’t true. Then, that person blocked me, and I really needed to say more to them. Then, I figured out that I did that terrible thing for no reason and my crush, hated me. It was terrible and […]
I’ve been so focused on trying to be successful that I haven’t really been depressed as usual.Ever since my friend has came from jail he feels like I owe him.(long story)?The thing Is I’m a different person from a year ago.A year ago I was still lost,I didn’t know how to go on when my ex left me.Today,I just want to retire my mom & be successful.Its kinda Ironic that I’m In ?the life Insurance business but there’s times when I want to take my life.I cant kill myself now.Even after these past couple of months working 8 commission jobs & I have nothing […]
I hate our society.
I think I have hated it ever since that first moment that I actually understood it.
I hate how we’re all so god damn attached to cell phones.
I hate how we judge immediately because that’s our instinct.
I hate how I know so many kids with mental problems because our society has shaped them and previous generations to cause it.
I hate how everyone, especially myself, is just so FREAKING SAD ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
I hate how I go to school, I worry about our financial situation more than anyone, I’m […]
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]
You might have thought that this post would be a motivational speech with a dash of positive psychology because of the title but sorry to disappoint, this is actually a rant.
So – I saw a screenshot of a Tumblr post on facebook where an anonymous user asked ‘What happens after I committed suicide’ or sth close to that. Then the person that was asked said things like: ‘You wanna know what will happen […] your mother will be heartbroken […] your father will be devastated to the point of speechlessness […] your younger sister will lost the person she looked up to—‘ You get the […]
It does not matter…
… What i say
… What i do
… How hard i try
… How much i beg
I cant change a person.
We are who we want to be.
I cant live like this anymore…
I dont want to live like this anymore.
Im not crazy…
Im just really tired of hurting…
Im just really tired of fighting for nothing.
I can feel it in my palms, the way they sweat more than usual. Like when I’m anxious (always) they get a little clammy. But these past few weeks I’ve had this feeling. That strange feeling , its even difficult for me to comprehend. & I feel it in my gut everyday. Ya’ know, most people tell me “don’t do it, you’re selfish if you do.” “you’d kill yourself over a person who killed themselves? that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” But the truth is, it’s not the dumbest thing a person has heard. Especially if that person was now left alone, due to […]
So I found out that I possibly have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and everything makes sense now. And I just want to kill myself because I just don’t know what is real and what is not. And I don’t want to live in this hell for the rest of my life.
I am not quite sure if I have it, but I have almost all symptoms and I fit every description of a person with BPD. I have mood swings, the “I hate you, don’t leave me, It’s your fault, I love as a brother…”, the getting angry for small things, the obsessions, paranoia, easily getting […]
I don’t understand why individuals have this drive to have “life” insurance. The person paying into it is going to be dead by the time it can be used. Let’s be honest – you can only give money to the living.
I understand that the insurance is mostly to help pay for funeral expenses. but why must we have a traditional funeral for our lost loved ones? Why not have a free get together to remember them buy?
Now for cemeteries – why even have them in them in the first place? They take up space that can be used for something tangible. Gotta do something with […]