I go for walks every night at around 11-12 hoping that ill be the next murder victim or poor person in that hit and run you see on the news, i do this because i do want to die but i don’t want the people around me to have to deal with the thought that i committed suicide and there to blame for not making my life better, even though some of them are in fact to blame, I don’t like the thought of moving my problem so i want to die in a way that they know there was nothing they could have done about it […]
Tag:
person
Mastery is the term they use for acquired skills that are rewarding in my group therapy. I am 26 years old and have literally acquired zero skills. Getting into something and really learning it requires a inspired or motivated person. The thing is, no goals really motivate me, and I am unable to find the inspiration within myself to accomplish anything.
I explore things I might like to learn, and then I attempt to immurse myself in the content of the subject, and I quickly find myself overwhelmed. The overwhelming nature of the entire situation just discourages me. Maybe I don’t have the confidence in myself […]
It’s been 16 years and life already feels like it should be over. I want out. But at the same time I’m scared….because I don’t know what happens next! I hate the unknown. Going will kill my Mum and she’s already on the edge – all I care about – but it will give me relief.
I want to go because as I quote from Footloose: “I have been so lost. I’ve been losing my mind! And you don’t even see it. You don’t even care”. I’m not who I want to be and I can’t be that person because I’ve left […]
Waking up everyday feeling that you’re worthless, not knowing what to do with your life. I constantly think about the meaning of it all, yet I always come up with a blank. Living day after day without anything to hold on to. I have a couple of friends that I hang out with sometimes or go to events, but I don’t know how to make real connections, because I’m socially awkward. I keep telling myself “Just try to be friendly, do your best, you will improve, you will meet new people, everything will get better” But it doesn’t. It just gets worse and just thinking […]
okay, so i was just writing a post that gave everyone all the information that could possibly need and then some about any reason I may have for feeling blue. I had to stop myself mid way because I realized it wasn’t even helping me out. I was boring myself! Instead, what I am going to try to do here is just blurt it all out. Say what I’m feeling, maybe add a reason or two, and then move on to the next whatever comes to mind. I’m hoping this does at least a little something for someone if not for me.
3………………3………………….2………………………………….2……………………………………2……………………………..1…………..GO!
worthless. I […]
dear jaqueline
its true i may be finding out ways of liveing the days with out knowing your ok
and even if it is a chain of one night stands that cross this land ill do it all because its not the fact you left me its that idk if you got fed up with me or you up and died its like a whate some one stuck to the top of my head and with evrey step i take in the qwick sand of this world i sink a littel lower i move a littel slowere with each tick of the passing of time i need […]
Hi, everyone.
The past couple months for me have been the same as before: sad. Then I realized something today, I can actually change my life, like maybe I’ve actually just missed this big solution to all my problems and now, I can finally be happy, or something.
Generally, people think I’m ‘chill’, and I guess I am, on the outside that is. On the inside, I have great turmoil. You see, I’m a very pessimistic person. Small offhand comments can stay with me for weeks, months, or even years. I’m always told to start ‘thinking positive’, and I’ve tried but it never works, or maybe it’s […]
Every day I go thru this. Even on this site, nobody cares, forever the invisible person, hearing his voice in my head. I am tired of bearing the unbearable alone in a triggering hell. I am tired b/c people’s casual judgment can’t begin to touch how bad the remains of what csa has done to me, a battering and torture of my mind heart body and spirit. They can judge thru these words not understanding the anguish I feel in my soul, how my brain can feel so scary, how noise batters me, how his horrible voice accosts me, how I have panic attacks in […]
I can’t think of a single person who wouldn’t benefit from my death. I can’t think of anyone I’ve ever known who I haven’t screwed over on a regular basis. I take everything for granted, I’m arrogant, obnoxious, stupid and useless and every extra minute I survive seems selfish. Too often someone actually does/says something nice to me and I hate the fact that they can’t despise me as much as I do. For all the talk of, “having so much to live for,” my doing so only seems to lessen what others have. I’ve given nothing to anyone and the only gift I have […]
31 make lots of money, try to be a good person yet it seems like I have a tendency to ruin every relationship now this time it was my marriage divorce is almost final. No one I meet ever understands what it’s like to feel this way I’m just fucking unhappy all the time unless I drink so much I “feel” fine until it wears off.
Therapy , psychs, meds none of it changes anything I want out…….
But then take into consideration my family how will they feel? Even my soon to be ex wife…….
Am I selfish for giving up? My whole life I’ve tried […]
Theres only one person i really care about is my best friend. ive known her for 8 years and i’ve told her about my problems. She made me promise not to cut or hurt myself again, hope i can keep that promise.
hello everybody.
what would you do if…?
your partner wanted to go his own way, live his own way, cut all the links with people he has known and live as a hermit, wanderer in the forests far away from the human noise?
He was just about to do it when we first met. He’s a man-hater and says he could live without people happily. He despises the whole system, machinery, life full of bans, laws, taxes and doctors.
He often reminds me of his wish and lately, I have been feeling worthless and an idea came to my mind: If I weren’t here, he could have fulfilled his […]
So most of my anxiety is social. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with Social Anxiety Disorder last October after I had to drop out of taditional high school because I was too anxious to be around so many people. Everyday on the car ride to school i would have a stomach ache because I was so anxious. A couple times I even had to stop at a gas station and throw up. Everytime I would walk down the hallways at school or walk into a classroom I would get sweaty palms, my heart rate would rapidly increase and my breathing would quicken. I have had several […]
I’m not used to being hated by everyone around me, everyone in my life. It fucking sucks. It also feels weird being totally alone; no one to talk to, no one to care about me, no one for me to care for. Typically, people love me and I’m lauded over my awesome personality and just overall likeable qualities. That’s not my own ego speaking. I literally would have at least one person a day at a very minimum go out of their way to express there admiration of one of my traits. But once again I’ve hit rock bottom and this time the […]
I don’t necessarily want to die…but I hate my life. I can’t change it. I am a shitty person. I don’t know what to do. Is there any reason to live?
Does anyone feel like that people who say that “talent has nothing to do with success if you keep practicing” or “don’t give up your dream! :3” or something to that effect are only people who have been so far successful therefore wouldn’t know what the fuck they are talking about? The notion that everything can be that easy if you have the passion for it or the drive and you work diligently? ANYONE can have those things! but is what gives other people the edge is something genetic? sure someone can study techniques and maybe learn to use a new tool. but guess what?! someone […]
What is the cause of the inequality that exists among mankind?
Why should one person be brought up in the lap of luxury, endowed with fine mental, moral and physical qualities, and another in absolute poverty, steeped in misery?
Why should one person be a mental prodigy, and another an idiot?
Why should one person be born with saintly characteristics and another with criminal tendencies?
Why should some be linguistic, artistic, mathematically inclined, or musical from the very cradle?
Why should others be congenitally blind, deaf, or deformed?|
Why should some be blessed, and others cursed from their births?
Ive always felt like shit, always felt hated and ive always craved attention and i hate myself so bad for it.
Ive been bullied for years and havent told anyone. My brother felt the same way and he told me about it, instead of our parents, he then told our parents. They stopped him from going outside for weeks and they hired so many people to keep him from it, it was that way for 7 months then he got out and commited suicide. He was the only person to ever talk with me and he meant more to me than anyone else. I’ve never told […]
Less than a year ago, I had, of what I can say, the lowest point of my life. Every single night, tears were streaming down my face; it engraved canyons in my cheeks. Every single night, I look at the stars and wish everything would just come to an end. Every single night, I ask myself, “Is it wrong to enjoy what life can offer me? ”.
There were so many things I’ve been going through that I’ve kept to myself for so long because I couldn’t let it all out. I didn’t speak up and didn’t make a big deal out of it so […]
Not sure what to say as I know this post is only for me to feel better briefly. Guess I’ll just say I’m tired of trying and going back to square one every time. I know it’s how I see the world. I know it’s my brain ‘chemistry’.
I wonder why there can be two people with the same mental illness, the same struggles, and only one commits suicide. What makes the other person stronger?
It’s weird what sets me into a downward spiral now. I’ve pushed everyone away & out of my life and I’m not even sure why.
Guess I just feel completely hopeless. […]