Trying to fight depression and fatigue. I’ve been taking ephedrine and caffeine to lose weight. It is helping but a side effect is fucked up sleep. I work in a few hours at a job i can’t do and will be fired from soon. I haven’t put in other applications or done anything with my business (web design I’ve only got 2 clients in the past year) or potential businesses i want to start (game/app design, and t-shirt company). Im just moping on my […]
Idk if i miss you. Or rather idk if i miss the person i stopped talking to. You weren’t the same person I fell in love with. You had such a major impact on my life that no matter what i do I’ll always know it wouldn’t have happened without you. But you went from lovingly warm to ice cold. I didn’t waiver. You went from open and honest to distant and duplicitous. You pushed me away but i […]
Is anyone of you suffering from anxiety?
Well, I’m a pretty lucky person to get various psychological disorders such as anxiety, OCD, panic disorder, etc.
From many days, I am experiencing the weakness in the left part of my body (left leg, arm, left part of face).
I think it may be because of anxiety, but the symptoms are getting worse day-by-day.
And recently, the left part of my body has become so weak that I am afraid I’ll get a stroke or something..
I am really freaked out and extremely terrified..
If anyone has similar experience, please share so that I can get relief.
Its so hard to hold everything in. You want to scream all the time but you cant because you dont want people to hear you. You just put a smile on your face and pretend like everything is ok and you dont notice whats going on. You pray everyday to just disappear, and you wait for so long just have everything blow up in your face.
Your worth something, and if you have to be the only person who cares about yourself then so be it. It might be hard, and you might need help sometimes, but its not impossible. You just have to keep […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I haven’t seen him in two months. And today, I decided “hey I need to see him” because I need a hug from him. But when I texted him asking if I can stop by to say hi, he didn’t answer. He didn’t answer. Not even a crappy made up excuse or a blunt no. Those would be better than not answering. Because then I would know what he thinks of me. But no. I don’t get a response. i would’ve taken anything but no response. Because it makes me feel like he cares about me so little that he can’t respond to a text. […]
‘Suicidal people are made, not born’ was a post I saw once. But is that really true? When I was born, the doctor had to cut my mother open and forcibly bring me into this world because I had a failure to thrive. Even in that infantile state I knew I did not want to be in this world.
Several months ago I tried to kill myself. I took over 50 prescription sleeping pills and washed them down with alcohol. Do you have any idea how depressing it is to try to kill yourself and fail? This was not a cry for help or attention. My […]
I want to live in a world where I don’t have to talk, don’t have to explain, don’t have to figure out topics of conversation or be up-to-date on the latest bit of gossip at work or the latest media tidbit everybody’s talking about. I want to live in a world where I can do my own thing on my own time, for myself, and not worry about how strange it looks to any onlookers. I want to live in a world where professional sports, politics and religion don’t even have words to describe them. I want to live in a world where I don’t […]
Distractify DOT com –
As of 2014, the life expectancy in America is 78.6 years. Divide that up, and this is how the average person spends their lifetime.
1 . You spend 25 years sleeping.
2 . You work for 10.3 years.
The average American works 40 hours a week from ages 20-65.
3 . You spend 48 days having sex.
A recent survey found that during the average sex session, foreplay lasts 7 minutes and intercourse 12 minutes.
4 . Women spend 17 years of their lives trying to lose weight.
This means being on one form of diet or another.
5 . You watch TV for 9.1 years.
Watching TV accounts for half […]
My grandmother just calld me and was talking to me about getting a bunch of stuff for me. Im sure for a lot of people its easy to just say ok and take it, but there has to be other people here who feel differently. Not just because of pride but also because its like dealing with a double eged sword. If you dont take it your pretty much offending the person whos trying to help you, but if you do take it then your a pathetic charity case who just acts this way to get what they want out of people. I know im […]
Yeah I’m pissed. Why even bother? Why play ganes? I haven’t seen him in a full month and I know I’ll never see him again. He actually messages me asking to come over. Then last minute says he can’t because the other car he had access to died too. Says he had a ride. So why couldn’t the ride have dropped you off here? If you can rent a car you can catch the bus, right? Hasn’t talked to me any more. Just leave me alone then. You got what you fucking wanted. You got rid of the person who cares most about you. Yes […]
what is life? A time voyage that only consists of people being alone, of people being forgotten, broken, left? I feel so alone and like theres no one there for me… I feel broken. Am i broken? Why does everyone leave my sight, my life ? Its like i put all this time into people and im the nicest person to everyone when they need something but right when you are broken they leave and tell you all these crazy shit. Do any of you guys just wonder what this life would be without you like if it would be better or not? Cause i […]
Sometimes it feels like I’m coping, maybe even okay.
Then I’m back to anxious and sad and missing my ex so much my chest hurts. I want her to be missing me. She probably is, but it doesn’t feel like it. At one point she’d said she was planning to contact me a few months after the breakup, because she missed me so much and still wanted me in her life. I think all that’s over. She wasn’t planning to leave the state then. Now she has. Maybe she’ll come back, but…
I feel like she’s done with me.
I feel like I’m the one who has lost […]
Monday is when I go back to college but I’ve been falling slowly now. My grip on life is getting weaker by the day. Yet, I realized I’m beyond saving, be it by my own strength or another person’s. At the beginning of this forked path, I’ll post every uplifting/encouraging Japanese song I know for a week or so. The first one is Only Human by K, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppINLeLEnFo. Here’s hoping it helps you more than it did me.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I can’t let go of the past. Who I am. What I’ve done. The thoughts I’ve had. The things I’ve seen, and felt. It is me. It’s how I make sense of the world. If I could just wipe the slate clean – go off and be a happy, functional person. But there are reasons why I am where I am. A person can’t exist without a past – an explanation of why they are how they are. Maybe if I got amnesia – or could change my memory somehow. Convince myself that I’m not here because I’m screwed up beyond all belief, but because […]
For some reason, these past few days, I’ve been really sad, but I don’t know why. My life’s been pretty ok these past few weeks. I mean I had a meltdown on Monday because I had to go apply to college and I don’t want to do college. But I have to because I can’t move out because I don’t have a car and I don’t make enough money to support myself which I learned last semester. And the only reason why I moved back in with my parents was because I hated it more at the last college I was at. But anyways, I […]
For one, my 2nd job is turning into my main job. My boss there is moving to LA and it’s going to be member-run. If we want full time pay, it’s up to us to get the donations to make it happen and sustain paid staff. In a sense, I got what I wanted. I thought I wanted to start businesses and nonprofits many times, but now I’ve inherited a nonprofit. I still worry about being homeless in April when the people I rent from move.
I was put on to doing some kind of presentation for the Buddhist center and it turned out to be […]
Always laughing, Always dying
Always living, Always crying
Always helping, Always running
Always surrounded, Always lonely
Always doing, Always tired
Always happy, Always cutting
Always, Always…
It’s always tiring separating the person you are to the person you pretend to be.
Please log in to report posts