More and more I think that “If I die young” has a lot of truth behind it.
Why doesn’t anyone listen when we’re still here to voice our opinions? Because it’s “all in your head”, “you just need to cheer up” and “focus on the happy things in life” OH why didn’t I think of that -_-. On the other hand, if I were to go back to those same people with a physical disgnosis like cancer or even a broken bone…. I’d get a lot more sympathy and a lot more support. How is this alright? The millions of people with mental illness have […]
Tag:
Pills
Everyday all I want to is cry. Nothing has every really worked out for me. My mother has gotten breast cancer twice and my brother is stuck with a chronic disease for the rest of his life. I can’t trust anyone because they are all judgemental fucks especially church, the one place you would expect to feel free and even there there is no peace. Only a bunch of hypocrites. I can’t talk to anyone that’s why I’m writing here, I can’t tell anyone how I feel in person I just seem to burden them. I tried to overdose on pills but it did nothing, […]
The option is always there. If your religious its thought that God decides when when you go but we have the power also. When your world begins to crumble I front of your eyes ..she come presenting herself as the best option there is. One jump.. Some pills ..some cuts to arteries and your off. To an eternal sleep, no pain, nothing because your dead and oh how I wish I could commit the act but I have tried and failed. Now just one big jump awaits for me but thought of putting my pain onto my family kills me and then app appears again […]
I don’t enjoy my life. I havent suffered a major tragedy or anything, I just dont enjoy it. I dont like my body but seem unable to change it. I’m tired ALL the time. Completely unmotivated. A job I cant stand. Friends who all have their own families and things going on. Always worrying about bills and how I’ll get by. And I just dont see it changing. I mean, I really dont.
This isn’t an emotional decision, it’s a logical one. I have thought and thought about it. If I dont enjoy my life and I dont see it getting better, why shouldn’t I just […]
I want to die, I wish I could find my pills and OD on them but I know how much it would hurt the ones who love and care about me. I am feeling very suicidal right now, but every time I reach for the pills I know how much it would hurt those who love me I just do not have enough energy too really keep going. Its only a matter of time before I’m gone <3
There was a time years ago when I was so depressed, I cried myself to sleep every night but everyday, I smiled. I was a clown who couldn’t wash off her make-up. I didnt really know myself, a girl I was “in love” with broke my heart, lied to me and led me on. And yes, it sent me further into depression. I did some drugs, pills. I drank some, vodka. But really, what depressed me the most is everyone thought I was fine and looking back now, I know thats what really bothered me. My family thought I was fine, hell, everyone thought I was fine. […]
I’m almost 14 years old and I don’t know what’s happening. I’ve always had a good life. Protected, secure. Always a good student and had a lot of friends. In December of 2011 I started cutting I stopped after 3 months. I felt alone even when I wasn’t. Myy life was in great shape for awhile. But all of a sudden I’ve started feeling alone, I’ve cried myself to sleep and the worst part is no one in a million years would even guess that I would feel this way. I recentley fell in love with my best guy friend. My parents are splitting up and my friends […]
I feel desolate. My mind has lost all of the positive light it had gained within the past 2 weeks. Well, I’m here again, at the same place I was a few years ago. I’m supposedly back on the right path, doing everything right or so they say. I’m constantly busy, tired, and thoroughly occupied each day. Between work, school, and training for my next racing season, you’d think there wouldn’t be any time for my depression to suffocate me, right? Wrong. I’ve been suffering so badly lately and I’m sure it’s only going to get worse as the holidays are circling around me. I […]
How do I write a letter to a teacher without sounding like I am suicidal (which I am). How do I tell her about my life in one page so that she can get to know me? Why is god shitting on my life!?!? I have no idea what to do this time. I have no idea waht to do most of the time. I need someone but teachers don’t have the best track record. Because verytime I tell a teacher something in confidence it somehow gets back to my mother! Why am I even writing this? I am just falling apart, my life is […]
I feel my worst when I am alone. The think is is that I don’t want to be near people, I want to be alone. It’s bad for me to isolate myself , I learned that the hard way. I came so close to ending it this last week. I abused pills for the first time and it made the pain go away for awhile. I’ve had the week from hell but somehow I keep going, somehow I act like I am okay.
My name is faith and I haven’t told anybody about my real story I’m not sure if i know it very well myself, anyways it all began when I was the happiest little girl you would have ever met. My best friend was my dog Zena she was always there to listen and she was always by my side to protect me she actually saved my life a couple of times. And then she became sick where she needed to take pills for medicine and everything was fine until one day where I knew something didnt feel right the morning of a school day but I […]
Sometimes… in life, people fall down… and they don’t really want to get up again. I fell down slowly, didn’t really feel it till I hit the ground, and when I try to raise up from the floor… I can’t find the will… to live anymore. So I let myself go, watch the world go by… nobody knows when I tell the lie… It’s nothing, I’m okay. But I’m going to wake up tomorrow… for everyone’s sake.
And to those people, who managed to get up again, you have no idea how much I applaud you. Thank you, from me personally, for being strong… even if […]
I am 20 years old. I am female. I am a law student. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am confused.
The first time I sat on my bedroom floor with a bowl of pills to swallow I was 13 years old. My Pop had recently succumbed to cancer, I’d lost a friend and I was just feeling awful. I swallowed two and then got scared. I swallowed two pills a day for four years. Every day. The first time was because I wanted to see my Pop. Every day after that for four years was just routine. What […]
Words and whispers I can’t get to leave my head
The voices call; they want me dead
The asylum grows closer as I grow colder and the threat of pills stays my hand’s blade
One more mistake is all it takes to send me back, and kill my hopes of moving forward.
 My school work, my  job, it’ll all be over.
 Medicines will consume me, taking over my mind.
No longer will I find pleasure in writing lines or playing rhythms, the ability lost in the crusade of science and therapy.
Trust will be dismissed, me reverting to the life of a prisoner for two weeks then a man on probation for […]
It’s 9:48 AM and all I remember from last night was me sitting in my room, crying, and contemplating death. I remember me sitting there on my bed looking at the pile of pills calling my name. I sometimes think that I think to much, but maybe I don’t, maybe I think about the bad stuff to much. I decided that I should start thinking about everything positive in my life. There are people out there dealing with way bigger problems than mine. Some people are dealing with cancer, somebody’s parents died, they’re brother or sister died, and some people are starving. My life is […]
I guess what makes for the best dark comedies is the twist that no one sees coming, right?
So, here I am about to take the pills I have been able to amass when I receive some good news. An advocate is going to assist me in the legal action that I am trying to bring against my brother for sexually abusing me before I was 7! This makes me happy. Someone is actually willing to give me a small hand with this shit. Be a buffer with the police, so that I don’t have to keep reliving it over and over again. Although this is […]
I’ve tried before to take my own life, I was 22. Many things had occurred through out my life at that point all of which had been coming to a boil, my button had been pushed, death was the only way to escape.  Some may find it cowardice, but not me, it’s my life, the things in my life are under my control, and at the time I felt I had lost control of everything. So I decided I was going to take control of something for once, it was one of the lowest days of my life. I was having issues finding work, the mother […]
Breathing, gasping for air as you are shoved through a long, tight, narrow space. Brightness. Everything hits you so hard. All of the sudden you are no longer safe, the warmth and comfort of the stable darkness quickly vanishes. Unexposed to anything bad, this is the beginning of your life. What will your story be? You could be anything, do anything. Your innocence is perfect. You are perfect. Everyone loves you, it is overwhelming. So many hands, so much touching. It so different than floating freely. But your happy, this new world is nice and it welcomes you with open arms. You drift slowly to […]
My telling you on the nightline service “I am not that strong of a person†translates to “I am going to kill myself, but I don’t want you to lock me up so I won’t say it out loud and commit myself.â€Â I don’t know how or when. As soon as possible. As soon as I can find the right way. Pills won’t do it…I’ve even heard cyanide won’t do it unless you are a chemist and know how to brew it just right. I envy that old couple that took their life together sipping cyanide from their teacups. Jumping in front of a train […]
Pretending everythings fine is exhausting. Its taken everything I’ve got in me to keep this facade up. I’ve got nothing left. I try every damn day to get out of this cycle of depression. I try to push the suicidal thoughts down, and I don’t know how many more days (hours) I can continue. I’ve got a home, people who love me,I’m
not rich but not poor either. But what I have whats killing me is of course depression. The pills don’t work, nor does the therapy. This has gone on long enough. No cries for help, no timetable, just a moment will come […]