Everybody else tells me they’re depressed because they feel as if nobody would care if they died or not, they think they are worthless and they hate every fiber of their being, they feel as if there’s no potential in their life, and something has sparked their depression such as someone fucking with their life and such, but for me… I’m different. I mean, I’m an athiest so I believe that there’s nothing after death, no pain, no enjoyment, just eternal peace. I believe this because our consciousness is from blood getting to our nervous system and brain, so everything around us is, well, life […]
Last Friday I attempted suicide by overdosing. I had been feeling depressed on and off for about five years and constantly for five months. That day I was so fed up with my life and I didn’t want the one I got or to be who I was any more. When I got home I sat in my bed room alone and took 35 celexa, 30 iron pills and 5 trazodone pills. I tried to fall asleep, in the hopes that I’d never wake up. Three hours after, I felt extremely internal coldness and I couldn’t warm myself no matter how hard I tried and […]
And you cannot CHANGE the PAST … the endless stress, worrying, beating yourself up and regrets DO NOTHING except wear you down, eat away at your sanity and immune system and waste time. Learn from it and move on … tomorrow is another day and another […]
Sometimes I have off days but tonight I feel a surge of energy and hope. Every day is a blank canvas to rejuvenate your life, edit your story. I have an agenda for tomorrow which probably contributes to this new-found optimism. I’ve forgotten how rewarding it feels to set goals, actually work towards them, and obtain results. The most crippling thing I can do to myself is sit at home and give in to lazy indulgences. I’ve been putting off my responsibilities for far too long.
I’ll start my day with a cardio workout in the morning. I’ll reply to my little Brother’s email from BBBS. I’ll start […]
If I was born into a noble family in the 1500’s, I would be happy. I could be a pawn to the king and get killed in battle, at least it would be lawful and acceptable. I’d be a marauder of death, wielding two claymore because shields mean you want to see tomorrow.
If I was born to a caveman 15,000 B.C.E, I would be happy. My mind would be at ease, the only thoughts it could produce would be for survival. I’d likely die before 20 due to some malicious disease, and that’s fine by me.
If I was born in 1997,May 15th, then I would […]
I am, or at the very least I feel like, the personification of a rather unfortunate or miserable concept.
The lonely romantic, the darkest corner of an existence, personified.
I, being a potential paradox invoked unnaturally upon the world, would naturally fall privy to this bleak state.
I feel as if I don’t belong, like I never was meant to be, in this world. And the world senses my foreign nature, and it tries to exorcise me from itself; not unlike our bodies attacking and destroying an infection.
It can be a slow and grueling process, but most of the time, the world ends up the victor.
As always, comments […]
im aaaaaaaalllllllllll alone with rare health problems and bipolar. aaaaalllllllll alone. hopeless and poooor. cant have kids, no sex drive, ED, tired. Went to college and poor. im black. did i mention i was poor? aaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll alone. no sex drive. low testosterone. bipolar. cant keep a job. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll alone. no woman for me. im crazy. i wont live life anymore in a sick mind and broken body. i hate being black. im gonna die
I’m just thinking and looking for other thoughts on something. The “something” is a quote: “Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” What comes to mind when I read this and mulled it over a bit … typical nonsense Hallmark-esque crap. Maybe it’s just me, though, which is why I hope to hear some different perspectives. It seems childish to “put up walls” just for the sake of finding out who gives a shit, much like “playing hard to get” in dealing with a potential romantic interest. If I’m putting up walls, […]
I find it grossly unfair that if I had a terminal illness I would be discussing its ramifications with my daughter and preparing her for my demise. But because I intend to depart by my own hand, I have to stay silent and she’ll have to endure the shock and the potential lifetime effects of not only my death, but having no preparation for it. All of the questions she’ll have later I would gladly answer now, but that’s against the rules.
I’m tired of everything. I am 21 and can’t find a job. I failed out of college when my mother was in the hospital and now my dad calls me a wasted investment. My family doesn’t have a car and I can’t get to a job even when I find one. My **** of a sisiter treats me like a piece of dog shit and calls me stupid when I was going to pay a neighbor to take me to work.
Truth is, I have always been depressed since being hit regularly as a child, whether it was with hands, leg casts, or something else my […]
I cannot fathom the thought of love.
There was a moment 2 years ago where I experienced intimate love for the very first time. At that point in time, I felt like I was on top of the world – but, when after almost 7 years, you’re world decides it wants to move on, you are left broken and cold – it all changed.
Although my love towards this individual has only changed from intimate to platonic, it becomes a ride of anxiety-fear-hope-annoyance, because it has been 2 years since we’ve seen each other; 6 months since we’ve emailed each other; I am waiting to hear from […]
When you truly know and love somebody it can be frustrating watching them throw away all their potential, but this is NOT your problem, it is theirs. You can only express your opinion on the situation; you cannot force it down their throats. This is something they must personally accept and consciously work towards. You forcing your beliefs down their throats is only going to cause resentment and manifest an opposite effect.
http://personalliberty.com/2014/02/27/are-9-dead-bankers-a-sign-of-pending-economic-collapse/
I swear it’s time for me to get off the SLAVESHIP .. while I still can
I could commit to hanging in there because my circumstances can improve, but I’d also have to be prepared to walk through the storm before the potential sunny weather
this debt money system HAS TO collapse, but it won’t occur without dire consenquences
when shit gets real (the aftermath of the economic collapse), humans will start to show their true colors
for the majority of John Doe’s, all the niceness derived from social conditioning will fly out the window .. you’ll witness human nature in its truest, rawest form
just my pessimistic opinion
according to […]
Well guys just an update , I failed my finals been crying , I put my all into and failed but my teacher saw my potential and giving me a make-up …….hopefully I pass the make up test ……I just totes sad tonight *sad face * and tomorrow is valentines day and I still can’t even see my boyfriend oh well , plus everyone in my class calls me a demon and it’s pissing me off been thinking abt mass murder but I know that wrong but just been keeping to myself a lot .
Love Allie
xoxoxo
I got accepted into a university I really wanted to get into. I’m happy about it, but I still in someway feel depressed. I thought maybe that would be the thing that brings my mood up but then again I’m so easily ready to leave this life. I guess I should be grateful because I’m getting something I want in life and like I said before I understand that I have been fortunate but I have also been unfortunate.
I feel like a college can accept me but people I know or try and get to know cant. But why is that what the hell is […]
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