I was told by so many different people that I should kill myself. I’ve been told it since I was little. My dad, kids at school, my friend’s mom, people online I tried to open up to. I’ve been told indirectly that because I’m gay I should kill myself and burn in hell. I’ve been told that everyone hates me. People accuse me of lying for attention when I reveal that I was raped when I was six. I’m an idiot. I always say and do things to make people annoyed with me and hate me. I know they’d all be happier if they didn’t […]
Tag:
Raped
yes i lived in a poor home , yes i was raped as a child, and yes i was all so abused and beatten ,yes my father was never in my life ,and yah my mom had too many responsiblities to care for all five of us so i was raised by T.V,despite all, my brothers and sisters are all doing fine but me i am crazy to them, i am constantly depressed and i cut my self a lot and in the end of a normal day i would find my self on the edge of our roof top or holding a knife and […]
I’m 16
I’m a Junior in High school
I’m a cheerleader
A straight A student
A softball, basketball, and volley player
On color guard
Have great friends
An amazing boyfriend
I should be happy right?
I’m not
Why?
I have a secret
A secret that hurts me so bad
I don’t want to live
I was raped by my stepdad
from the time I was 9 until I turned 13
I feel dirty
I feel worthless
I feel responsible
I feel damaged
I feel broken
I feel ugly
I feel pain
But I keep smiling
Because I don’t know what else to do
I don’t tell that I cry myself to sleep every night
That I have nightmares
That I’m scared to be alone
That I want to die
My name is Whitney
I seem happy…..
Right?
my life isn’t that bad. not anymore at least. I was raped by someone very close to me. almost every night in 4th grade. other than that, i dont know whats wrong with me. yeah, i get bullied. but not to my face. maybe that makes it hurt more. i know my family and boyfriend love me. but i cant stop thinking and planning my death. im giving myself a month. a month to see if things ever actually do get better. ive been depressed since sixth grade. cutting used to help, but it doesnt anymore. i dont have any escape from my mind. im […]
I’m 24 years old and have been depressed since i was six. I was raised in a family where i could never be good enough no matter how hard i tried. I was always compared to my older sister because she did well in school, and was grounded pretty much from first grade till high school. I have tried to commit suicide several times, usually with something going wrong (or right according to some people). In high school i started cutting myself to deal with my depression as it became worse. When i went off to college i met this girl who was popular and […]
im 17.. i feel like such a little kid around every one.. they all treat me that way.. little things mess with me really bad. i have borderline personality disorder.. i haven’t had a very good life and i understand that.. i understand that there are people out there who have had it worse than me.. i just don’t no why all this has happened too me. if there really is a god out there then why are all of these good people having bad things happen to them..i was raped by my brother and my little sisters brother from the time i was 5 […]
Im 21 years old and have attempted suicide 5 times. I was sexually and physically abused growing up by my alcoholic dad and emotionally and mentally abused by my mom.  I have been raped more times than i can count by more than 7 diferent people all belonging to the same group of friends. I got pregnant by one of them and that made me more depressed but then i became to welcome the fact that i would have someone i could love and would be loved back. at 21 and a half weeks on July 17, 2011 i gave birth to a stillborn 5 ounce baby girl who was […]
and by that is, apparently it’s highly rare for anyone to have common sense anymore… Why am I always the only person around anyone I know to have the common sense to think something through, to see the solutions to do what’s right, but no one listens to me… In this world full of lies, and currupted greedy bastards, I still stay truthful and pure… In this world, all those horrible people continue to get rewarded, while I’ve never seen a day where I’m not punished… for what? for existing? for being right? for being honest? for being hard working? for having humanity?! all the […]
I know that people say that I should be happy with the life that I have, but right now, I just don’t see anything good in life…. I seriously want to die. I cry so much, but I don’t let people see. I am called names, made fun of, etc. It has become too much for me. I just don’t want to be alive. I tried to commit suicide, but I sadly failed. I just don’t see the point of being alive at this point. If I had the chance, I would try it again, but my mom hid all the pills and sharp items […]
I’ve been depressed for years and I@m starting to realise that it’s because i never felt loved growing up. My brohter bullied me by beating me and puttin gme down and making me feel like a loser all the time. He raped me when I was 9 years old. The problem is so complicated though because I never felt like I could go to my parents because they never seemed to give a sh*t about me… I loved them and my brother so much but they just treated me like dirt. When my parents split up, my dad just moved out and didn’t even think […]
My name is rebecca taylor i am 16 and a sophmore in high school. I have put up with alot of things that most people dont know about me. so where should i begin? well i shall start where my whole life started falling apart. I was four years old at the time i was first raped! i remember this event to well i was asleep when a frind of the family came in my room and started touching me when i tried to scream he punched me in the head and knocked me unconcious. he continued to rape me untill i was seven. at […]
Its a long list dedicated to the people who ruined  any chance of happiness for me..
To the  guy who raped me at a party where i drank to much then denied it, then continued to harass me and put me in situations where im just as vulnerable.
To the guy who i dated for 2 years, told everything to, then who told everyone.
To the girl who fed my addiction, taught me about cutting, bought me a razor, and ever since the first time i’ve did it, i’ve done it every single night since.
To the ex best friend who left me in my most desperate state.
To my […]
im in 8th grade. i went to a public school but at the moment im @ a learning center. how was i supposed to go to school when, whenever i turn the corner im being beat up, threatened with knifes, pushed to the ground and called fat, ugly, whore, ****, freak, creep, big boobed peice of s***, lousy turd, stupid, dumb. its so hard to handle. the only thing i could do was run into the bathroom sit against the wall and cut. i made that mistake in 2nd grade. a girl told me i looked like a dirty cow!!! so i asked the teacher […]
I remember I was the sweetest girl you would ever meet but that all changed when people started bullying me.I got bullied every single day.By everyone and by my family.My mom would always yell at me and my brother would beat me.My other brother would want nothing to do with me.My dad you ask?Lets see he had left me and my mom when I was 5 years old.People would call me fat,ugly,pathetic,Ect.Basiclly all the names in the book.I didnt understand what I did at the time.I would believe everything they said I had so much pressure on me and I still do.That pressure […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m down to the bottom again. Even though I’m surrounded by tons of people everyday, I feel more alone now than ever. I was raped when I was little. And since then I’ve been having nightmares. But lately the nightmares have gotten so bad that I can’t sleep but when I finally do cry myself to sleep, I just wake up crying everytime. So I started to cut and burn. I still do sometimes. It’s the only thing that helps anymore. Sometimes I just cut to see how much blood will come out or I wonder which spot […]
I will not kill myself! i will not take your crap . you will no longer play mind games with my emotion. i dont care that your my father you can go to hell and burn. To ever bully that ever teased me… FUCK YOU. You know what you guys are? pussies! spineless maggots that fed off my need to be like everyone else. One time i would have gave in and died. but now if i ever see you again DAD i will sock you in the teeth until someone bleeds. and it wont be me. To the man that raped me as a […]
I was at drivers ed tonight at my high school and there was a basketball game going on and i looked in and i saw all the girls with their friends and families and all i cant think is why cant i have that? why cant i have friends who will support me? why cant i have friends in general or people who like me? no guys are ever interested in me and the only guys that are, are the kinds that just want a ding dong ditch because i let every guy in that i can because they are the only ones that ever […]
I want to die. I want to go to heaven. I want to believe in God. I want, but never get.
written by BlueBlackButterfly
This note is really long, so only read if you’re prepared. This is my story and how I feel. If you have something negative to say, please don’t say it. I’m not really sure what exactly I put in this note because i wrote it on a different site a few days ago, but I still feel the same. Sorry if there is any cussing and just to let ya know… This note wasn’t finished. I have many other things that trouble me daily, but I got tired of writing…
I don’t see the point in life anymore. I’m not even sure if i’m Christian anymore. […]
I was at the hospital the past couple of weeks & I’m so scared. I’m 18 and I’ve been homeless since Jan., I weigh 70 lbs & I’m barely alive. Everytime my brain tumor goes away, Humphrey (yes I named it) comes back & I’m so sick of hospitals & life. Then they said I was dangerous to others & wanted to send me to a mental institution but I barely dodged a bullet and left. Since I was 8 I’ve had to rely on someone else to help me live [AKA hospitals/doctors] & I hate it. I hate bothering people. I’ve attempted suicide but was […]
It all started a year and a half ago when I came home from school to find out that my mother had died from an drug overdose earlier that morning. Being a daughter of an former alcoholic father and drug addict mother, I’ve had some hard times. From neglect to some form of abuse. From moving into a new house every couple of months with other family to watching my mother slowly die on the bathroom floor from an overdose – again. I’ve been through many things that some people would never experience. Or so I’ve been told. That was probably the worst day of […]
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