Tag:

ready

It’s 3:13 AM (or at least it was when I started writing)

by Bri 8/9/2015

written by Bri

It’s funny how things work, I suppose. I always seem to end up right where I started; in the dark. I’ve been trying to sleep for the past few hours but nothing is working, I’m disgustingly wide awake.

I’m just going to write how I’ve been feeling lately in this post, you don’t need to read it, not at all I just need an outlet.

My older brother and his wife had moved out, right? well, they’re back. I should’ve expected it, I really should have. On top of that the man who made me first start to hate myself, my grandfather, lives here now too. That’s […]

8/9/2015 2 comments

Mission Impossible:Mission LA – Update 4 – Woodstock

by kills 8/6/2015

written by kills

Well today is going to be a battle. But I’m ready to take’er on. Leggo!
http://youtu.be/UaB95Gp70uk

8/6/2015 13 comments

My story

by Anonymous 8/5/2015

written by Anonymous

I’ve attempted suicide 6 times in the last year. The pills are sitting next to me for tonight.

I became suicidal many years ago. I can’t remember quite when. I never acted until this year though.

I started self harming after my fourth attempt. I’m 57 days clean. The blade sits next to me as well, ready to be used.

My family hates me and I have no friends. There is no point for me living anymore. I don’t see why I hold on.

I recently stopped taking my medication. I just flush it down the toilet every morning. The medication makes me feel numb anyway.

I’m so broken I […]

8/5/2015 10 comments

moonshot and mental after-walks from a before-life

by kills 8/4/2015

written by kills

from the depths of despair I wander
but not all who wander are lost
yet I am both
a wandering vagabond in search of answers i’ll never seem to find outside of my rib cage
my animal pen that keeps my true rage locked inside until it’s time to feed
hidden and looked over have I been for far too long

.44 magnum for voice box full of ammunition that’s begging to be fired
whoever gets in the way is irrelevant; the bullets are meant to kill
cause I’m killz and I was born in darkness
birthed in hopelessness and death themselves
i have seen […]

8/4/2015 0 comment

ready to go home

by tphg 7/30/2015

written by tphg

Epiphany!

I was rambling on in the comments of Tristeza’s post when I finally hit bottom and realized why I’m so unhappy and want to die. The gist of what I was saying is that life is nothing more than a dream and that when we die, our minds are erased from reality permanently. All of the information that our brains are holding onto is erased when it shuts down for good. The person that you think you are (Tom, Dick, Jane etc) is little more than a function of the brain, and so when the brain dies, you die too.

As in a dream, I’ve […]

7/30/2015 3 comments

What

by Bisban 7/29/2015

written by Bisban

How can I be real

If I can’t even feel

The moonlight

I’m not so pretty, like you

You can wait

I can’t

Girl, can you just

Piece, what it’s missing

On to another, tune

Makes me wanna’

The tear, of the crown

The end of the song

Hero, are you ready for

Repeat

All that I feel

Let us go back, to the North or to the West

Like, birds

Do you know, yet

To take me to, glide

On to another tune

The song at the end

The voice and the eyes

I don’t know

7/29/2015 1 comment

furious

by munckin 7/28/2015

written by munckin

I just shouted at a homeless who started talking to me.. to stfu and then 10minutes later my ex who is the reason I am this ready… with whom i was supposed to spend the night with… who i was picking up from work and was waiting for infront of her office for 15minutes then walks out and tells me she is sorry but her girlfriend just called her… i walked away not saying anything finding the first wall and started smashing into it… it hurts quite badly… búúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúúút i love this feeling… it numbs everything.

7/28/2015 11 comments

Seeking Help

by oddsare 7/23/2015

written by oddsare

How do you tell the people who gave you life that you don’t want it anymore?

I’m terrified. I’m trying to tell my parents how I’ve been feeling but I keep putting it off. I am afraid that if I tell them, my mom will either ignore me or yell at me and my dad will be disappointed or hurt me. I just don’t know what to do. At the moment, I would really like to seek professional help. I’ve been feeling really down for years. Actually, it’s more of an on and off kind of thing but it’s getting worse and I’m afraid that I […]

7/23/2015 3 comments

Pressure

by Barytron 7/21/2015

written by Barytron

I am getting ready. I just want somewhere to say it. I can’t tell my friends excitedly about my plans, so I’ll tell you all.

I filed for residency last week. I will get my ID here soon. Then I can buy a pistol. I already have one chosen. Then I can take a concealed carry class and always feel safe, knowing death is always close if I need it. Though I still intend to wait until january, the weight and surety of a gun both soothes me and revs me up. Six more months. Six more months and I’m allowed to quit.

Just six more months.

So […]

7/21/2015 7 comments

by omthompson 7/20/2015

written by omthompson

I have been suicidal for as long as I remember. I’ve had 2 suicide attempts…both with pill,s both failures. I’m always in pain. I’m always sick. I hate myself. I can’t keep a job. I have no friends….

But I was doing better. I’ve been seeing a therapist for almost a year now. I’ve had my current job for almost a year. I wasn’t happy, but I was close. Until July 4th. My Grandma passed away. We all knew it was coming. She was ready. She’d had Alzheimer’s for so long. I was close to her as a little girl. I spent my childhood at […]

7/20/2015 4 comments

my BFF needs help..

by vamp_kitty 7/13/2015

written by vamp_kitty

Hi. Never done this before but my best guy friend has been going through issues since he was younger…he’s 24 now and can not deal any longer…I’ve been doing my best to talk to him, show him people still care even if it’s only me but it’s not talking him down any longer, he’s tired and ready to go. I am not completely sure what to do or how to go about this. I know he’s hurting but it has to be a better way than this. He has siblings, people who love him and are actively there but it’s not enough…confused friend at the […]

7/13/2015 5 comments

Need a confidant

by Exit4Me 7/9/2015

written by Exit4Me

I just need someone who understands the struggle we go through. I’m ready to exit and have my plan just figuring out when to execute it. Getting my affairs in order. Anyone in my region, Midwest US, that might care to talk about things?

7/9/2015 3 comments

My first post, hopefully the last.

by Gursten 7/5/2015

written by Gursten

This post started as my first reply to another post, I am just copying it in. I’m not rich but I’m certainly not poor. I made this account just to reply to you, and im using my username that I have everywhere. I don’t want to be anonymous. My life was just how you describe yours, playing games, watching random tv shows, maybe some youtube, or streams, and chatting with friends online. I have lived 90% of my life online for the past few years. Unlike you I was satisfied with that, I do not want what others seem to want in life. I don’t […]

7/5/2015 8 comments

Feeling nothing

by plasticflower 7/5/2015

written by plasticflower

“I’m afraid of dying” was something that I used to think and say a lot, but I have forgotten how it feels to be afraid and not ready to die.
For about 5 years, I’ve felt constantly sad. Can’t say I’m depressed since I’ve never been diagnosed, but I can say that feeling hopeless is now my “normal” feeling.
So I wonder, what is the normal “normal” feeling? It’s obviously not hopelessness, so what is it? I wish to love life again. Either that or just not live. It’s not like I’m actually living, anyways.

-V

7/5/2015 3 comments

Days growing darker

by Travels with Charley 7/4/2015

written by Travels with Charley

My dad killed himself when I was in the third grade, so I know a bit about the damage suicide does to survivors. The grief was unbearable, I felt rejected, abandoned, unloved, angry. My mom didn’t know how to talk about it, so I was left to make sense of all of that pain and loss on my own.

By the time I was 16, I was deeply depressed, isolated, and suicidal. I found hope in Christianity, and I credit faith with lifting me out of that particular abyss. But depression has dogged me all of my life, and with it suicidal desires. Medications have helped […]

7/4/2015 3 comments

So Very Lonely

by September2015 6/18/2015

written by September2015

I dont really know what im doing here or how i really found this place, all i know really know is that i am alone. I dont have any family or friends to talk to or suport me, an i wish i did.
I cant shake these feelings much longer. This life has not been kind and im ready to leave this forsaken place. Mid september hints the user name.

6/18/2015 4 comments

Final farewell

by Bloodboil 6/13/2015

written by Bloodboil

Over ten years and counting.. I have never felt this calm before. Like a world has dropped off my shoulders.

Everything is ready. I have my method, I have my location, I have my suicide note. I have my courage and the means to an end. Nothing holds me back or opposes me.

The serenity of it all is overwhelming. Finally this torture ends

Thanks for the stories and reading mine way back when.

Good bye

6/13/2015 12 comments

desperate

by treekoke1 6/1/2015

written by treekoke1

I am 18 years old im not posting this for any other reason than to just do it, my lifes not always been easy but its not always been hard either ill admit that however all my life I’ve had bi polar schizophrenia I didn’t know about this till very recently and well my familys abandoned me they lied threw me out hell my moms a special ed teacher and well I never knew how hard this was going to be but I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 I rehabilitated and focused on positives it was ok till I was thrown out […]

6/1/2015 2 comments

Everyday is a battle

by mcgiggles 5/21/2015

written by mcgiggles

Everyday is a constant battle with myself – Somedays, I feel like I have a whole army behind me ready to fight and feeling hopeful and most of the days, I’m fighting alone and the only right thing to do is surrender.

5/21/2015 6 comments

Not ready?

by Alonelyfool 5/16/2015

written by Alonelyfool

I wish there was a pill that killed me. I just want a way out. But I’m too weak to do it myself. I always think “what about my dog?” Or “how will anyone find me if I kill myself at home?” Those are things I shouldn’t be worried about. Am I truly ready to off myself?

5/16/2015 5 comments

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