Where do I start off I have a really low self-esteem, when someone calls me ugly I smile and I try to let it go.but I tell everybody I can that their beautiful cause i don’t want them to know how it feels this way i constantly think of suicide i cut and when i do it i don’t do it very deep just enough to feel the pain i cry myself to sleep and i ask god the same question over and over why am i still here? I go to high school and when i see the pretty girls i collapse i try […]
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Real Friend
I was about 11 when I realized nobody cared I mean family is suppose to care. I never had a stable family drugs or liquor ruined my family yet there sober now and they are so caught up in the mess they made that I’m invisible to them. I am no longer sober from liquor today just was so bad I had to drink my psychiatrist  thinks I’m crazy because of the scars on my arm I had to show him.. I broke down and cried in front of people I never cry in front of people. It’s just it’s hopeless. I don’t feel like trying anymore. The whole world can […]
Im pissed off with my so called life. I have no one, not one person who calls me. not one “real” friend! I have come to the conclusion that no one gives a shit. Most days i wonder around town aimlessly with my son and its as if im a ghost no one talks to me i feel so alone. And them false people who pretend they give a shit just makes me want to punch there horrible faces in. My boyfriend doesnt understand how i feel i tell him i feel suicidal and hes like you’ll be ok!! I feel like theres no hope […]
I loved my brother so much but he won’t come back and it was my fault. Since I was such a kid I was always alone, I hadn’t any friends, what a shame for a kid.. then I grow up and things didn’t change. I have a really big anxiety and I can’t help it, I’m even taking pills but I can’t say a word at school, people laugh of me, they hate me. I feel so much pain. However at least my brother was always with me, by my side…as a real friend. He meant everything to me. 7 months ago he died of […]
So I guess since I just registered I should write my story? I don’t know.
So currently I’m 17. My name’s Nick. I live in New York. I’m a senior in high school and a non-matriculated college student at the local community college.
So previous to high school, I was kind of a loner. I was (and still am) the fat kid and I was a loner. My only real friend was my friend Trevor since 3rd Grade. So yeah people made fun of me a lot and no one really stopped until one day this kid, Chris, was really just picking on me. I was having […]
Besides what’s going on in my life
I had a bad day at school..
I was teased in every class…
For stupid stuf..
like for example I was called myrightnut
My names Myra…
And I was during about this in my notebook and someone tried to take it from me and I smacked their hand..
Then people started calling me a cat..
Calling me names..
And ECT… I’ve had two people say stop she’s gonna go sit somplace cry..
Wait keep talking maybe shell die if she does..
Stupid stuff…. And I only have one real friend thirbfor me …
Her names saveena..
She helps me…
I dont get the sence in cutting…
But for everytime im bullied ima keep […]
Although i keep you close,I wish it was happiness that I choose, now all is dry and faded away, at least till i see stanley again,people call you “bad” and “not a real friend”,but they dont know how deep and caring you are stanley, your always there and you’ll always listen and always care, you hold me close like its all gonna end you may be cold at times but no worries i will give you a place nice and warm and once again my arm…my body will be a blood storm, but stanleyplease dont let go i promise no one will know, […]
I don’t know whats important in my life, what i want , what i’m looking for :E I have cool job with a very good salary and future opportunities, so i need to improve my skills and knowledge more and more but.. : / sometimes i’m Ok and I don’t care about such kind of a things, but often I have long depressions and wishes to die.. I don’t know what’s missing in my life, why am i so different, I don’t even get on with someone they all are at most liers, fools or trying to be fool or something :/ and that makes me to hate […]
I hope everything is alright with you (whoever is reading this), or at least I hope things will improve for you at some point in time, hopefully soon.
I’ll try and keep this relatively short so I don’t take up too much of your time if you choose to read this. Also, I’ll understand if I don’t get any comments on this because I know the stuff posted on this website is usually hard to respond to. That and I usually just write random crap that doesn’t really make sense to anyone. This probably won’t flow very well, and for that I apologise. I find it […]
I want to rid myself of all my pain. Just thinking about tomorrow honestly makes me sick to my stomach. It’s the most disgusting  thing I’ve ever felt in my life, and sometimes I can’t help but think about it at night and cry, because I keep feeling it over and over again. I lie there staring into nothing, my mind wondering off into tomorrow, and I feel sick.
I don’t have my friends anymore, and as cold as it sounds, they were nothing more than distractions, anyway. People that kept my mind occupied with something other than my own misery.  Yet, I still yearn for that false reality, that […]
The thing is i’m not quite sure i know who i am any more and I dont really care.
I had a breakdown last week at a school trip. I  sat somewhere away from everyone else. I knew no one would come and check on me because they don’t see me as their real ‘friend’ because I’m too different from them. So I sat alone as my mind reminded me of everything that’s gone wrong and the reasons for them. I remebered why my friends left me. I remembered why I almost killed myself last year. I couldn’t think straight. Then as i’m about to cry who else to come […]
I am the third and youngest child in my family. My eldest brother David has never been nice to me no matter how hard I have tried, and recently he told me I am no longer his sister. My other brother Timothy was born with brain damage and got all of the attention from my parents. I was always ignored and my parents never realised I have had depression for a very long time. Even now that I have been diagnosed, they still don’t believe me. Of course it’s okay for my brother David to be depressed but not me.
My so called friends were never […]
I guess this is part my story; maybe just the trigger to my suicidal thoughts.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I might be depressed, stressed, tired, angry. My parents have no clue what goes on in my head. We’ve never been a close family; my parents are seperated, so my dad visits once in a while. My mother likes to get drunk and cry about the seperation. My siblings go out and ignore this living hell we live in. And I’m the one that has to go through the pain we all go through.
I think my insecurities first started in the summer of 2006, […]
Back in January, i really realized that my life really sucked. Im an overweight 15 year old girl in 9th grade. I always hated myself in middle school because it felt like i didn’t fit in with anybody. And it felt like nobody liked me. Then, the bullying started. In 7th grade =, this boy named Cameron started calling me names and pushing me in the hallways and stuff. He called me names like fat ***** and ugly hoe and stuff. He got expelled for that because someone saw what he was doing and reported it to the principle. Then in 8th […]
I’ve been depressed and suicidal recently with no one to talk of my issues with. I recently decided to talk to the school counselor about my problems. At first, everything was great, but then from the depression test results she decided that she needs to talk to my parents about my depression (the talk is tomorrow night shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck) as well as getting me to see my pediatrician about things I can do (antidepressants stuff).
I’m really starting to regret talking to my counselor and wish there was some other way of doing this without making things more complicated than […]
Just today one of friends told my other friend that she was ugly, fat, a hoe, obnoxious, and that she should just die. My friend was at home when she got called those disgusting names and was told that rude comment,plus she had the flu and she felt awful. Of couse she got the message on facebook the one place where you can talk trash to somebody without them phisically hurting you. I stood up for my friend because we are best friends aand just because I’m friends wih the other girl neverr meant that I had to agree with her. In fact I […]
Nobody knows about my current suicide plans. My family knows about the two preteen/teen attempts but they think I’m all better now. Tell people what they want to hear and… you know the rest. The third attempt they may have found out about except my little brother is listed as my contact and well from what he does for a living I KNOW he will not snitch.
My friend was visiting just to see my place. I rarely have visitors but she kept insisting and since we both dig anime, games, the occult, and dark themed tings I consented. Since I rarely have company I really […]