hi, i just need to get this off my back, so heres my story. i am a skateboarder, i have a pretty good life from what everyone knows about me, but thats not actually true. im that happy kid that almost everyone likes, they go to when they’re sad, they go to when they need inspiration, etc. thing they dont know is how unhappy i actually am, its not the cut myself unhappy, im too much of a pansy to even think about hurting myself, i cringe at the thought of a cut from a razorblade, fuck that. thing is, i hate what i am, […]
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Reason
I want to live, I really, truly do. It’s just that right now, I feel like I’m surviving and life is simply passing me by and I have no idea what to do about it. I mean, I want to die right now because my life means nothing and I’m worried it will forever be like this.
How do you get the confidence to just live? It seems to me that living takes a lot of strength. To me, the difference between living and surviving is simply that feeling of being alive. I don’t feel alive, but I’m surviving anyway. So yeah, I don’t feel alive […]
the truth about me is that i try my hardest to be someone im not. if i were to go in school right now wearing what im wearing now (leggings, skirt, sweater) people would beat me up and make fun of me. instead i go in there wearing hollister and fancy rich people clothes. i feel kinda stupid when i walk down the hall, and this girl comes up to me and says this (one example) “you know youd look WAY better with a bag over your head right!?” me: “i dont know..” Girl: “well its true!!!” *walks away laughing with her 5 best friends* […]
I’m 95% certain I’m gonna leave this world by my own hands
already tried to leave around last christmas .. I ingested some highly toxic substance (used to unblock sinks) hoping it’d damage my stomach .. all I did was throw up (2-3 times) and I lost the ability to taste for a week
this time, I’m going to hang myself
but for some reason, I keep postponing this even though I have no attachment to this world nor am afraid of what awaits me on the other side
(I believe death is “just” a transition between the physical world & other planes of reality)
I feel like if my […]
Things would be so much easier if I knew how to not care what people think. Im waay to sensitive.
I just wanna be able to open up and let people help.
HOW DO I NOT GIVE A SHT (within reason)Â I am so desperate because I’m in a constant state of paranoia/fear/guilt. My hearts always racing aswell as my thoughts, which hinders my concentration when Im working. I dont eat much at all because the nervousness suppresses my appitite, I dont think this is a panic attack because its always there> I think I have an overactive amygdala, (always wired/startles easily even when anticipating, crys over […]
Hi .(I mind stuttered typing this. I’m kind of nervous.)
I’m 15 years old almost 16 . I’ve been dealing with this for a few years . I’m scared to talk about it to anyone . I mean I have a loving parents , I mean the world to them ! They do so mch for them , and I love them sooo much . I’ve never been hit by them . I used to get bullied alot in joinor high he’ll I still do ! But I don’t give a crap what they say . Well now . I’m just comin to terms with […]
Tonight is too much for me, To get through, Tomorrow’s just a darkened hall, To an empty room, When I’m far away from you….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
Im so depressed. This week has been shit. And the worst part was it was all little things that have made me think about how good that shiny piece of sharp metal would look in my wrist.
1. School stuff- things about a crappy tattoo portfolio and being called wierd and having something taken away from me? which is quite confusing.
2. Maths exam- ah…exams. doesn’t everyone love them? espicially those with OCD who are terrified to write in pen and hate the thought of people staring at her because her seat was quite near the front.
3. i not long ago dropped my iPod touch in the […]
I am in debt so far over my head that i’m afraid of everything. i don’t answer my phone because it is always the bank. i shred my mail without reading it.
I have watched myself do terrible  things to people i supposedly loved for no reason with no way to stop it and it will happen again and again. no reasons, just pain and anger and manipulation. words i can never take back. i strangled my ex until  i could feel his pulse in my hands and i wanted so badly to kill him for what he’s done.
I’m so broke I started doing porn and […]
maybe im the reason that I have no one. I dont bother to tell people what im thinking. I hide everything maybe thats why no one is aware or why im alone. Its all my fault. I dont flaunter my emotions. Is that what im doing wrong? Is that why no one bothers to listen? Does no one understand that I have a damn heart, one that gets hurt too
No one knows how badly I wish I could be normal. I wish I didn’t have trouble with bullies. I wish everyone treated me the way I treat them. I am a very nice girl, probably the nicest you’ll ever meet. But all people see is someone who is different. Someone who sticks out because they aren’t skinny. I’m intelligent. A straight A student. I am nice to everyone, even people who bully me. I put others before myself and I hide my pain behind a smile. And these are the thoughts I have:
Just one more cut. It’s not like anyone notices.
If I died, who […]
Sometimes you live, and your so busy that time just vanishes, tomorrow turns into next week, next week turns into next month, and next month turns into next year. Before you know it nothing gets done…
Well this past week has been interesting, they say the thrill is in taking part. I’m running for Student Union President, I am going laugh if I win though as I will not be here. However its the buzz of running a campaign, of talking to different people (I absolutely love talking to people…) that gets me. I’ve got tons of support from random people which is amazing, however the […]
So this is my first post.. sorry if it’s not very clear or easy to understand. I’m just lost.
So i never thought i would be this way. I had a great childhood, and at 20 i still feel like a kid sometimes. Like a kid that was just testing out the water and all the sudden was pushed in. Except in this imaginary world, i don’t know how to swim. So here i am struggling to stay above water. Now i’m not sure if it’s worth the effort anymore.
To put it simply, i feel so empty inside. I’m sure part of the reason is because […]
ive been cutting my self – doing drugs for awhile now basically quit them both for about 2 weeks and to be honest ive never felt worse anyways more to the point my grandad recently died i kind of hoped that this would scare me idk to make me relies how much pain i would cause people if i died .. but it dident i have allready tryed to commit sucide twice.i suprised my self at the furinel (ime dislexic that why almost everyting is misspelt ) becouse i cryed a bit the reason this suprised me wos becouse i thought i wos dead on […]
There is absolutly no reason to live anymore. i just want to die.
no one would even care if i died.
i wish i wasnt so numb.
im taking pill after pill to make myself feel normal everday,
but i just cant do it anymore.
there is just an emptiness that nothing can fill.
all of the drugs in the world couldnt fill it….
im done.
Hello everyone,
My name is Chris and I am 21 years old. You most likely won’t read this. Like most of you, I’ve been entertaining thoughts of death to myself very highly lately. I’ll post my story in which most of you will probably call me ungrateful, selfish or something and I’ll take it. Honestly, I’ve had a pretty good life even as a kid but I knew there was always something wrong in my head or something. I remember at the age of 7, my window guard falling out and looking out that window and just thinking to myself as a little kid,” I should […]
well, its been a year today since i have started feeling suicidal and depressed, i wanted to end it so bad teh other day but for some reason i want to keep holding on, i dont know y people r posting valentines day greeting on this cite, there is nothing ot love about the world or the people in the wirld, we are a hopeless and pathetic race andi cant wait for the world to end on december 21st. i have a valentine but only because i didnt want to say no and hurt him. i am sad and depressed as ever… but something is […]
This has no specific age range but is directed more towards those who have not yet been free to make their own decisions.
I want everyone who wants to to live. Especially you my little brothers and sisters. Because you have not yet been able to live your own lives. Have not yet been able to freely choose anything outside the limits placed on you and the strong influences upon your minds and emotions. From your posts many of you have an amazing and solid grasp on life and that would be wasted by you dying and not being able to enrich yourselves with your talents.
Many […]
“oh what a delight, a day at the zoo,
seeing the sights, i love the zoo
stay by the mungkhees an hour or two
people watching because people are brutes”
These words keep running through my mind. I wrote them and have read them over and over and listened to the recording over and over so maybe that is the reason that I can’t let go of the words. But I’m here, wondering about hullucinations. I’ve never mistaken a hallucination for reality (except when I think an event has occured, but it only has in a dream) but I think I’m seeing and hearing voices.
Could just […]
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
but i have promises to keep
and miles to go before i sleep
and miles to go before i sleep…..                Robert Frost
its getting harder and harder day by day. I just want to go away from this place and live alone with no one to judge me or hurt me. The only person i told about my depression is my boyfriend and it has been over 4 months since when i have told him. But not a single question, not a single flinch in his feelingless heart. He did not even wonder why i am sad sometimes for no apparant reason. […]
When my best life time perioud leaves me I know that it’s not the same…
Death isn’t just mouving from one room to another or ending an reletionship… but for me that is good enough to be true….
It wasn’t never what it is now or what it will be tomorow morning… It will e never the same, I’ll be never the same vivid calange searchingm young phisitian and programist, I’ll never revolution for thousents of people including me again or share my dreames and love, in life with no pain until …
Funny that Garsie Marckes wrote about it in one of his books so no, I […]