I don’t know how or why I even decided I wanted to commit suicide. I have an amazing and loving family, a group of beautiful friends, and amazing health. Yet, despite all this, I have decided that suicide is the right way to turn. Yeah, I’ve had problems with anxiety for the past 5 years, and I lost my best friend to his slut girlfriend, but this shouldn’t be my only option.
Tag:
right
I wish I didn’t tell my mom about how I self harmed, because I’m really feeling like I need to again. I get that I don’t actually need to the way I need water or food, but it sure feels the same fucking way right now.
So let me just throw this out there.
I’m not suicidal but I have a chronic and, apparently, incurable illness that over the last 8 years has lowered my quality of life to almost comically unbearable levels. There are certainly days when I think, “so how long do you think you can endure this before jumping out of a fucking window?”
Let’s get real here – if you were an American being held prisoner by ISIS (or, for that matter, a suspected Muslim terrorist being held at a black site by the CIA) and tortured sadistically and de-humanized every day and was reasonably sure that […]
Oh lord where do I even begin? I am new to all this and it’s frustrating and overwhelming at the same time. I have so many mixed emotions I’m not sure to look up or down. I guess I’ll start off by introducing myself I’ll go by Cam..to keep things simple. I am 27 years old, Married with 2 beautiful children. I have been married for 6 years this October. I feel as if my life is fading away in front of me. On the outside you would think I’m happy, outgoing, funny, beautiful person but on the inside I feel a very dark void […]
Did a random entry on a search engine for ‘I’m so fucking lonely’, and this was one of the results. Seems legit.
I haven’t read a bunch on here, but I do know that if I was not sure that there is an existence after we die, I’d have been dead quite a few years ago. I wish I didn’t have this knowledge. The way things are right now, I’d rather not be here. I don’t have the gut’s to put an end to this existence knowing I’ll have to face my maker on the other side.
I’m crying..
Worked myself right into an anxiety attack
I’m trying to move out
The high months on rent scare me
I can barely breath
And I’m crying ..
Help!?
Before I start, I guess I’ll preface by saying that I’m not really used to doing this sort of thing—that is, writing out my problems to anonymous internet users. Hopefully it is way better than talking to my phony therapist, getting paid 100 dollars an hour for absolutely nothing.
Where to begin? I guess I’ll just say I was diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, or BDD. Except that is hard for me to believe when I actually show signs of ugliness. If this phenomena of BDD didn’t even exist, I doubt I’d be writing this now. There would be nothing for doctors to pawn off as […]
From being young to many problems or a problem.
Each step was tough or maybe it still tough cause nothing has changed.
No one gets my state,maybe I should be the one getting to change my state in my own way by taking my own life.
Lies I have told,hidden in the dark in clear day light
Sharing my story is a waste of time cause it all end the same way, it passes by like nothing ever been told.
So ugly thoughts come up,should I take my self down?
I’m nothing than another day tomorrow suffering.
Having those ones who care is playing […]
i knew it. The only reason that the doctors didnt know what they were talking about was because they were doctors that treat poor people. The really good doctors know what they are talking about, but they require insurance and money. I deal with a caseworker, and she is a very judgemental person. She thinks i cant find a job cause im crazy or something. No, the reason i cant find a job is because i was the only person in my family to go to college, and i didnt realize what to do in college to get a great job. I didnt network and […]
It’s cold and lonely out there… I wish I was as warm as one of the beautifully blended paintings I’m gazing at right now, maybe one day. These blankets and pillows trying to replicate the warmth of another human’s flesh is pathetic. I’m pathetic. All I want is to be embraced with fervor, where are you? Uncertainty is so horrid, I hate it. I hope to death that these four walls around me don’t become my prison. I want to astral project myself into another dimension, please just take me away from here.
-Immurement
Lights seeps in
Darkness fades away
Darkness seeps in
Light fades away
In between is a balance
A balance for neutral peace
Peace cannot be destroyed only pushed away
We all go through darkness
We all go through light
In between is a balance that’s just right
so sit tight dear kite
for you will fly in such great height
for you are the light
so that the dark will sit right in tight
for peace of flight that is just right
~M00n – how was it? I just wanted to express my feelings on total peace and how the dark needs to come together with the light to work together and sort out what they are feeling when they […]
I do believe in God. I was in a car accident when I was three. I was in the back seat, my Dad was driving. As we were turning right at a stop sign we were t-boned by a huge SUV. My Dad was knocked out, had a dislocated shoulder and a concussion. I didn’t get a scratch. It wasn’t a terrible accident. The car was totaled. But not a scratch? Not even a shard of glass cutting my arm? After the accident, everybody told me that I told them about a lady in white with wings. They said I said she kept me company, […]
I hate business !
I hate money !
I hate capitalism / capitalist !
The main reason is because business kills creativity & ideas . money kills creativity & ideas . capitalism / capitalist kills creativity & ideas !
There are a LOT of good ideas , creativity , imaginations , inspirations , dreams , & even good deeds that business / money kills ! simply because of a petty, shallow reason “it doesn’t make a lot of money or profits ! ”
money makes the world unfair ! business makes the world unfair ! capitalism makes the world unfair !
plus , the world becomes a boring […]
I pick up my day as the weight I know mine
And push through the clouds again, time within time.
I see you beside me, lain flat at my step
You offer your wings up one day to the next.
Your eyes, blue like diamonds, through darkness they shine
Promising rest in a world that’s all mine.
Day after day I walk past, and yet
That moment I pass is the one I regret.
When darkness descends, I know you’re in tow
Watching and waiting for me to let go.
When finally I tire, my energy ‘plete
There find our eyes; once finally meet.
Lost […]
I’m happy sometimes. I met this girl thousands of miles away and she makes me happy. But sometimes I just get really sad out of nowhere. I get down on myself and hate every part of my being. I think about suicide really often, I have been for three whole years now. I even went to therapy but I stopped going because it didn’t work or feel right. I feel fucking insane.
I am looking at all of my posts on my wordpress via SP. Under my latest post it says that I received mail on the far right side. When I go to view this mail the website says “you don’t have….”. Curious how I might view this mail.
Any help would be appreciated.
I already picked a method. I’m going to strangle myself with a belt. I want to do it right now but I’ve not left any notes, or organised my belongings, haven’t written a will.
Could anyone advise me on how to do that quickly and tell me what’s the best place to go to once I’m done preparing everything? I don’t want to do it at home because I don’t want my parents to find me.
I’m generally bored and disgusted with life. I don’t like the way that I live (which I could change, but not much within grasp), and the way others live (which I admittedly have no right to change), in constant monotony. I’ve known I was going to kill myself for a couple years now, but finally took some initiative in January. I took a few milligrams of Xanax, got in a bath, and tried to cut my wrists and neck. Needless to say, it didn’t work, and I was sent to the hospital for a week, on self-harm watch. Worst week of my life, I had […]
I haven’t lost him but he’s no loner mine, and that kills me. Out of all the people I have loved, envied and lost, he has made me cry more than any of them. The past week or so had been rough, quiet, vague. Then out of the blue he talks, blames me for what I’ve done, what can I say, he’s right. He doesn’t feel the same, of course he doesn’t. He gets over things so quickly. He still cares, but not the same way. He left because I was a shitty person and I hate myself for that. He won’t dare say it but […]
Even if you’re not a believer, really inspiring stuff right here
by Rotted_Flesh
written by Rotted_Flesh
Lyrics:
Maybe loneliness isn’t what I thought it was.
Because I’ve been alone a lot lately
And it’s brought upon me a new kind of sadness
And depression I’ve never felt before.
It’s comforting sadness and I don’t want to let go of it.
This newly discovered sadness is becoming my identity.
This sadness.
I went on a drive the other night and instead of writing like usual,
I just yelled every word that touched my lips.
I asked God who I was talking to
But I guess it was Him the whole time.
I don’t remember anything I said that night but I wish I did