I feel like I am hitting my head against the wall and I feel like IÂ just cant keep doing this anymore… I am running on the little reasons that I have. I am done trying.. my depression has held me back for a long time…I do not want too keep fighting this battle anymore….
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Running
I attempted suicide last night again.. but as you can tell i didnt succede. I took a handful of prenatal vitaims but just ended up heaving my guts out along with some blood. My dad and i got in a huge fight, cause i hung up on him in the morning while running for the bus.
It got worse when he planned TWO doctor appointments in the middle of my end of course test. I was pissed so i sent him a angry text in all caps. Then when i got home i went to a friends to install a game onto my computer and we […]
To whoever may concern,
Although I am young I already feel it is time to stop running well that is how I feel. I am running from my feelings, my emotions for the better good of others. I don’t want to ‘live’. I don’t need to ‘live’. I have read other story’s and they were the truth. I show no sympathy because I have spent so long hiding what feel that I no longer feel. I’m just empty. A ghost of what I should be. Today my ‘friend’ almost got hit by a car […]
I need to stop running away from all my problems. It’s not like they’ll disappear if I turn my eyes away. They’ll just keep building up and up until it not only affects me but everyone else in my life… But, that’s so much easier said than done.
I don’t talk to anyone anymore–what few “friends” I had, my family…no one. I’ll send the rare text from time to time to let them know I’m alive, but…if they try to start a conversation or call me I just ignore it. I don’t know how to face them anymore. I’m so disappointed with myself and what my […]
Sorry, I have been in deep thought for a few couple of weeks. Trying to figure out my own situations, complixed complicated life.
Instead of forgetting, I will just write it down. Hopefully take all of these memories away from my mind. Start over, a new chapter, Learning Lessons. But hopefully to draw again, hopefully to enjoy things again, hoping to love and forgive myself for all these years of hating and wanting myself dead. Hoping one day I could love someone else as well again. But better. Right now isn’t the time, the day, or chapter to be with anyone but myself and family again. No lie it’s ganna be hard, and its […]
I don’t what is wrong with me as I sit here all I can think about is killing myself and how I would do it. I don’t think I have a reason to want to kill myself. I just can’t it out of my head. Just seeing the blood running out of my body and the sleepy haze that comes with it. I just don’t know why I want to do it or keep thinking about it. What do I do?
Hey everyone, I’ve been a long time lurker, this is my first post. I don’t really know where else to go to get advice or support or anything like that.
Basically I’ve had depression for 3 years now (I’m 18, turning 19 in a few months), and I’ve just been suffering through it, I’ve been thinking about suicide every day but I’m too much of a coward to just do it. In all honesty, if I had a gun or something, I’d do it, but I’m just scared of the pain.
Anyways yeah so I’ve been talking about it with one of my friends and this girl […]
Blood running down my arm.
I wonder if it was ment to be.
Why did he do this to me.
Scars show my life.
The pain I have suffered.
People say i’m a freak.
But it only shows that i’m weak
Poem and how I’m feeling
I log on to my pc
I built it with my own hands and money
I see the backdrop of a starry sky and moon
In my ear I have a music box tune running
And tears are trying to flood into the room
A simple child’s song that brings out memories I wish I had
Each little tinkle, trickle and bom
A music box, xylophone, a trumpet and an instrument unknown
From innocence it sends me
Unto the darker strokes that bring the sadness to the fore
It highlights a lot of inconsistencies
And points out a lot of hard choices I’ve had […]
So, I’ve been thinking about running away..I know it’s wrong to run away from your problems. Tho I don’t really care anymore, ya I’ll probably miss my family a bit.. And I know it’s wrong to leave them so I’ll probably never actually do it.. Tho I wish .. Im a coward..
Ugh life is hard… I want a flat stomach and skinny thighs which hasn’t happened yet..
:/ I want to die but I don’t. I just want to be happy and have no care in the world. Tho that seems impossible…
-RawrImaTurtle….
i’ve done it. i’ve made the decision to end my life. though tears are running down my face, i couldn’t be happier. i feel so peaceful, genuinely happy. a feeling i’ve never felt inmy life before. i’m not giving up, i’m just giving in. for years i’ve felt like an empty shell, being carried by the river out to sea to be drowned and i don’t mind. i don’t really want to die, i suppose, i just want to rest my head. i’m okay with it, i accept this situation. may my body be the last i see and my heartbeat the last that i […]
I can’t do anything at this point. I get drunk all the time, as often as I can. I take advantage of other people. People I’m supposed to care about. I owe people a bunch of money. I’m living off my family. I can’t hold a job, I don’t have any friends, and I don’t care about people who care about me. I want it to stop. I want to stop being me, I want to stop thinking about all of my problems, I want to stop contemplating suicide and just do it. I thought about it all the time when I was 14, I […]
My mom and dad split when i was 4 because he was addicted to crack. I didn’t see him again til i was 10. Now he has a wife and step kids.i’m not important to him anymore. He lives in a huge house and he’s a successful psychiatric. But he’s to selfish to even pay for my insurance. So i have a disease that went untreated for 2 years. I am now permanently deaf in my right ear. and he doesn’t event know. Because he doesn’t call.
The only thing that’s making me feel any better right now is the song a trophy fathers trophy […]
i know this is suicide help but im caught on running away;
my boyfriend that i love so much and been with for the longest through THE MOST (me cheating, arguing daily, thinking im pregnant, my bulimia & anorexia, self inflicting, and self esteem) may be going to jail because of my mom; we may argue a lot but in the end were more in love than anything you could imagine; i was raped by my moms ex boyfriend and touched by her 2nd ex husband; all of this is coming out as once; and its sooo much pressure and i dont want my boyfriend […]
yes im gay or as you like to say fag.. queer… fuity… lesbo… sick…. twisted… freak…… it’s who I am! im sick of everyone tellking jokes bashing me behind my back! im sick off crying and hiding from you sick people! you have ruind my life I havent gone a week without crying and cutting because of the things you say. Iv even swiched schools to get away from it all but it still all follows me. I’m reddy to end it all i’m running out of options…. I’m just going to end it i have nothing to live for anymore the only person i […]
I don’t like the greedy psychiatrist that shoves pills down everyone’s throat in order to buy a $300 tie. I don’t like the yuppies that play golf on a nice evening while slavekind pays off their “debts”. I don’t like the alcoholics. I don’t like the party-ers. I don’t like the girl that is so desperate for attention to the point of it being sickening. I don’t like the person that doesn’t say “hello” when I say “hello”. I don’t like the soccer moms that think they’re properly raising their children, when they’re not. I don’t like politicians. I don’t like “famous people”. I don’t like the […]
Do you ever feel like your in a race to find happiness? Something new will come into your life and you think wow i cant wait for that to happen then maybe i will be happy. Then it happens and still feel empty. You start trying to run again for yet another thing that you think will make you happy but it still never does. I’m tired of running and hoping.
i acutally thought working and having a job would make things easier for me. But its actually not. it actually just makes me want to continue on with my plan. It just wont be march 31st it would probaly be at the end of june or before graduation. I got the job so i can save up money and run away….then just kill myself. im just tired in every way there is.
I feel more and more exhausted every single day. It’s not a physical exhaustion…more of a mental and emotional exhaustion. My mind is constantly running. Running running running. I can’t ever get it to shut up. Unless I’m high. I’d love to just start cutting again, but I really don’t want to add anymore scars to my little collection. I already get looked at like I’m some sort of fucking parasite if I dare wear a tank top.
I really am on the verge of losing it. I don’t want to make my parents upset…after the last death, I couldn’t ever put my parents through that. […]
I am stressed and live with high anxiety all the time. It is to the point when I do not even remember what life is like without constant pressure and I am only 21. I understand that life is stressful, that there will always be things that upset me, and that since I have survived much more difficult times in my past. But it is exhausting to just survive at this point, and it seems to be only getting worse. Before I can resolve one problem or stressor another one comes up, and then another and then another, and the stress and anxiety I live […]