I look in the mirror and see someone I don’t know. I try really hard to get up everyday, but it is soo hard. I go to school, but I don’t see the point, it’s getting me know where. Applying for jobs is a lot easier said then done. I found out today that my mother helped my sister’s boyfriend find a job and he got it. After she promised that she would help, and she through me under the bus last mouth. She let me do an interview at a school that would have helped me get a degree and I would have had […]
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school
It is tough for me to explain and on the added front, it is tough for other people to understand as well. In the end, I am another person who wants to die but at the same time hangs on.
I definitely did not grow up “usual”. I grew up best described as isolated on a farm. I am the youngest. I have two older siblings, a sister (5 years older) and a brother (7 years older). We attended church and I attended Sunday school which was the sole social interaction that I had for my first 5 or so years of life. It was extremely […]
My name Is Erin Mitchell and I just join this site
Okay so my suicide story~ I been suicide for a while now I always wanted to kill myself but I only attempted it a few times. I been through a lot.
I have a really close friend killed himself a couple of months ago
I get bullied at school almost everyday. People call me some bad names I should have never been called.
I need to talk to someone before I really kill myself
So I have no idea how I ended up on this site, from the point of browsing to signing up to typing this. But I know that, this’ll do as a distraction even for a little while until I can actually find a way to die.
I suppose people reading this are thinking ‘well, what’s her reason for wanting to die?’ and the thing with me is, is I’m just very very shit at trying to ‘adult’ my way through life. I’m gonna start from the beginning to the point where I either feel like I’ll post this or just delete it because my life might […]
I really hate to burden people with my problems, but I need some serious advice on what to do.
I’ll start with the first of two things I am going to cover in this. A few weeks ago, I went to the school nurse and I got diagnosed with severe anxiety. They said that they were going to get CAMHS involved. However, I seriously think I have depression as well, as I seriously feel as though everyone would be better off without me and that I’m just a burden to everyone.
I also think about killing myself everyday, and think of various ways to do so. However, […]
Everything I’ve achieved up to this point seems useless. Today I got my school year’s grades and I’m simply useless. Everything I’m doing is pointless. I wish I didn’t care about anyone and could end everything, but I don’t want to put my mum through that. Sleep is escaping me.
-V
I’m here because I don’t want to die. I want to believe that I have something to offer this world, and that my current suffering will lead to a day where I can turn it around and use it to help others. Thing is, I’ve been depressed my whole life. I feel like from the moment I was born, I was given a cluster of psychiatric diagnoses instead of a personality. I was a problem to be solved, not a person to be loved. I was not human; I was merely human labels. Autism at first, because I’d rock endlessly in place. Then bipolar, because […]
I hate my life. Since childhood ive been neglected, hurt, lied to, and abandoned. I dont see a purpose to go to school and go to work everyday if we just die at the end. Ive tried to kill myself a numerous amount of time and everytime i look back i cry and say to myself “I was so close, i wish it would’ve taken me.” I just want to fucking die. I dont want to live anymore. Im tired all the time and no one knows what to do.
I’ve left my fears behind. Now I’m purely fuelled my anger and sadness. I was never good enough for anyone, and that was okay with me because I didn’t need to be.No, correction. I was never good enough for YOU. You stupid, terrible parents that pushed me to my breaking point and every time I built something for myself, you would knock it down and then ask me why I couldn’t build anything. I didn’t want this life. Everything I did I did for you. Straight As. 4.5 GPA. Getting into one of the top schools in the world. Student council president. Swim team. Band. […]
I don’t honestly do not know why I am even writing this. Big brother can watch me have my nervous breakdown, I guess. It was not at all in my intentions to be one of those people who threaten their selves with their lives when things get hard. That’s weak, right? Although, I’m struggling to understand that, it makes your mentality to have strenuous strength to cope with the inevitability. Here’s the kicker, I am 16. I haven’t even lived to have the urge to end it, right? Ahhhhhhh, or maybe it could be the raging hormones and the typical teenage babble like, he said […]
So, long time no see… My last post was in April. I don’t really know why I never made another post. I guess I just didn’t want to talk about my problems anymore than I have to. But, over the past few months i’ve learned that talking about your problems is the best way to solve them. For months and months I assumed that if I didn’t talk about my problems and ignore them they would go away. Unfortunatley, thats’s not the case. So here I am about to talk about my problems (even though I really don’t want to). For 9 months I was […]
I don’t really like sharing my ‘story’. It implies that this story is all I am, which in a way is completely true. We’re all just stories floating within the midst of each other’s stories. In school we had to take some quiz about ourselves so a college could rate highschoolers and how they felt or something. One of the questions we were asked was if we felt that our life was worthless. Talk about a loaded question, right? Maybe my life is worth something to me and my family, but to the rest of the world, I’m just one simple story. What impact have […]
Im scared. Im so scared of death but at the same time I want, I need to die. Theres no purpose for me in life. My grades are droping in school, cant sleep or concentrate on anything. IM nothing more then a ghost, 3/4 dead and im scared im gonna break( if I haven’t already.) and then ill be gone, 6 ft under. I most likely wont even make it to 16, I wont have a husband or have kids. why? Because im a goddamn coward. It would be so easy to just give up, no more pain, or depression…
sooo…, I guess I’m saying my story now. Mainly I’m saying it because a lot of people that share their stories feel better about themselves but really I don’t think I will. I just felt like I should so here it starts. So I’m in year 8, I go to a pretty crap school and to add to that coming home isn’t that fun either. I first started my school last year and I was soo weird in person and so very unpopular but when I got home I’d be this little lonely sad kid. Things got better, I still got bad mood swings but […]
I stopped by my insurance agency and prepared my life insurance policy. My parents had one taken out in my name when I was 16, after my fireworks accident. I talked to my agent and changed the policy into my name (instead of my moms). It’s for 25,000…not much, but it should cover my debt and funeral. I was going to add another 50,000-75,000 but I would have to have an extensive medical record search and that would show my cancer, abdominal tumors, brain tumor, F.A.P, Gardner’s Syndrome, Pseudotumor Cerebri, fireworks accident, severe anxiety, severe depression, bi polar type II disorder, abdominal migraines, etc…I think […]
I have had anxiety my entire life and have been depressed for the past few years. I am going to be a senior in high school where I am supposed to start figuring out what I want to do with my life but I’ve never felt so lost. It is summer before my senior year and summers are tough for me because it gives me a lot of free time to think and feel lonely. I am afraid of choosing the wrong college and not being happy. A lot of people see me as a nice person but I don’t think people know how sad […]
I just want to be loved, is that selfish?
I saw some kids walking down the street today, I wish I had friends like that, the one group of friends I had at school really just never bothered to get rid of me, only one of them has gone out of their way to talk to me since I graduated, maybe I am a little greedy, wanting more people with me.
My mom and my sister were talking about their friends in school the other day, my mom’s story was particularly painful to hear: all of them were different people, but they were still a tight group, […]
I will tell you some of my personal story for those who care to know. So ever since I started elementary school, I wasn’t normal, I didn’t talk to anyone, I was shy, my family thought I was autistic because of mu extreme shyness. I didn’t make my first friend until the second grade. Most of my early school days are a blur and I don’t really remember, so. I started smoking weed in 6th grade, and that became the love of my life for the next 6 or seven years. When I was at school all I could think about was going home and […]
So yeah, my title about says it. Here’s a little about me. I’m a 21 year old male that’s completely lost my drive. I have no hope. I have nobody. The two surrogate parents I had died within two days of each other. I have around 40% mobility and strength in my hands due to sindactilysm (look it up), so I’ve been laid off from every job I’ve landed due to being so damned slow compared to other employees. It’s not bad enough for disability. I lost my home already and I live in a parking lot trailer, temporary courtesy of a church that took […]
Hi (again),
This is my first post since the one I made somewhere in Octobre 2014, where i said i’d probably kill myself on Sunday. My brothers suicide, loneliness, school, stress and general depression were wrecking me.
Needless to say, i didn’t succeed. Alot has happened since then. Ah, where do i even start?
Okay so things were shit then (still are now so that’s stayed the same) and i felt very very very suicidal. My self harming had gotten pretty bad and i was making solid plans of killing myself.
I never mentioned this, but somewhere around a year ago i developped an eating […]