Most people say cheerleaders are sluts, perfection, skinny, and easy. But we aren’t all like that. We are all human we all make mistakes and fight our own battles. I’m an elite and school cheerleader; I am anorexic, on medication for depression and anxiety, and I was diagnosed with OCD. So think before you judge a cheerleader just cause we act confident in our own skin doesn’t mean we are.
Before I throw it all on this table, let me begin by telling about myself maybe it’ll give you a bit of perspective.
I was born in the early 90s to mediocre town I northern finland. My ‘family’ consisted of me, a father, a mother and an older brother. Travelling back there in my head sickens me. My childhood, if you can call it that, consists of bitter memories of my father ripping my hair off even from a slightest, honest mistake, like filling the dishwasher in a wrong way, or hitting me so hard that my ears rang just because i’d gotten a bad […]
So, I’m about to return to school in a few days, and I’m supposed to contact my counselor upon arrival to set up our first appointment of the semester. But I’m torn. You see, I’ve already gone way over the “limit” of visits supposed to be available to students, so I am beginning to feel like I have no right to continue going. Plus, it’s been almost a year of consistent visits, and at this point, I feel like I just talk in circles, but my level of depression remains consistent, even despite changes I make in my life. I am trying so hard, but […]
I feel like I’m about to break up, it’s just too much in my head. I wanna die and leave, fast. Please.
I’ve been away from SP for a long time and I deleted all my posts the last time I was around a long time ago and decided to be strong and not think about sucide. I’ve been strong and managed to stay strong although life throws increasingly amounts of shit at me. Last month before the new year I went out with my old time friends, yes, I had even managed to talk again to my friends and make new ones. Things were hooking […]
Okay well first of all Hi my name is Karalyn and this is my first post so yea, hi!
I am 12 years old [pretty young for this website I know..] Anyways,
I was at the mall with my older sister one time, and I wanted to go to Hot Topic, But every time I ask.. My sister would say “You’re a freak for walking in there and wearing their clothes” I don’t know if she notices but it hurts me and that’s one of the reasons I cry to school. I feel that everyone just thinks that I’m a freak who wears all black and band […]
Hey. I’m back again, and so soon. I don’t know…I’m just getting worse. She doesn’t even care about me anymore…I want to tell her that I want to kill myself, but I’m not sure she will care. I’m laying in bed right now. I didn’t go to school today because of a neck injury. It’s common sense that I’m not going to tell anyone this in real life, but the injury is because I tried to strangle myself. I figured it wouldn’t work, but I suppose it was just trying to relieve some of my frustration. But the injury kept me home from school today, […]
Who here thinks that the very origin of their depression and suicidal thoughts lies within school? Not that the school itself actively aims at making its students depressive, but rather the fact that “natural selection” is a far stronger force between children than sympathy/ empathy. The fact that teachers cannot and will not truly help the victims of bullying and sanction the offenders.
For those of you who don’t agree with the term “natural selection”: Of course the “stronger” students will not kill off the weaker ones. But as long as there are some children who weren’t educated to be nice to one another (and it […]
I’ll try to cut the bulk and give you guys the gyst, but it is hard. I have been battling suicidal thoughts and self-harming for over a decade. I never thought when I first started this, that I would have my own place, a growing family, and still be struggling with the razor.
Anyway. I’m an only child from a one parent family. My dad is as strange to me as people I have never met before, and I am okay with that. He wandered back into my mom’s life for fun occasional sex when I was 12; that’s when my battle began. When I self-harmed […]
Im writing this letter for me to get my thoughts and feelings out… the person this is meant for will never see this, will never know i wrote this, will never care i wrote this.
Dear abselom,
what can i say we’ve been through alot together. I was there for you when you wanted to end your life. I held you when you cried, i cried with you for you. I tried to make you smile when you were low. I was always by your side i tried the best i could to take your pain away. Then i broke. I was hurting and i finally told […]
Is it normal… to look in the mirror and not see yourself in the reflection?
Having been so caught up in everyone’s “expectation†of you. To have completely lost yourself trying to be what everyone else wanted you to be?
Every night you dream of this life, you could NEVER have, but every day you long for it.
You have all these hopes… dreams… ideas… that you want to fulfill but just not enough time to do so.
Then you go to sleep… still having yet to achieve anything extraordinary in your life, waking up in the morning realizing your one day closer to […]
So i decided i shall share my story with you all even though how difficult it is because i can never put words to how i feel or what i’m experiencing. So please bare with me..
NOTE: Some parts of my story may be a bit shocking to read but this isn’t a “feel sorry for me” post just so you all know a bit about my back ground but i wont go into detail as this is a bit personal for me.
Well i was a happy outgoing kid i had a wonderful childhood i lived out near the beach and i went to a lovely […]
nobody really knows what I feel like inside. I am in therapy and medication but I still don’t feel good. I cut just to release what I am feeling inside. some people have seen the scars but they will never understand. I lost many people in my life and the only thing keeping me going is bands. I have bad social anxiety and I can’t stand others seeing my ugly face. some people at school tease me but that is only to impress their friends. I truly hate myself. every feature about me. my nose, my hands. my back, my elbows, my chin, my cheeks, […]
I need help, guys. Â This isn’t exactly about me though. I just have this assignment, I have to write a short story.
And I just wanted your guys’ input on it.
There was a single wobbly wooden chair, a small table, and a dim lamp in the living room of young Derek Soma’s apartment. He sat on the chair every night, reflecting on the day that had just passed, smoking the last cigarette he had each day due to his a-pack-a-day smoking habit.
Derek lived in the poorest part of town called the Tenderloin. San Francisco was a big city, many said it was the perfect mix of […]
First sorry if you don’t understand I’m chilean..
Since last year I want to faint me.. Maybe my parents notice that I have problems… That I’m not giving supply ( I can’t handle this anymore) cutting, wishing to take a pill and don’t wake up never again.. Is normal?
I was normal before… But something change me as a person (psychology talking) and I’ve noticed that we don’t notice when the things start until there’s no turning back.. And you will never feel that great again.. Your past will always be there to remember you your mistakes..
Maybe fainting me things will change…
Please if […]
I know that most of you won’t read this or care or anything but, I am depressed. I feel so worthless, stupid and I feel like a disappointment of a human being. I’ve seen amazing people on the news and at school that  do incredible things for everyone and then I’m just there, wasting space and not doing anything.  When I first started to feel this way, I was only 11  and I thought that God hated me and that he was putting me through hell for a test but, that isn’t fair. Its been a year now and I still feel the same crap. The sad part is that if I were […]
Let me start this off by saying that I don’t have a bad life. I have two loving parents. I have a brother, a sister, and a sister in law who all love me. I also have a niece and many aunts, uncles, and cousins who love me. Yet, I still feel alone. I feel like nothing I do matters. I feel like I’m drowning in the ocean and every once in a while I catch some air, only to be forcibly dragged back down into the current.
I am not a horrible looking person but I refuse to live the “social norm†that people […]
Today during creative writing class my teacher really wanted to read a poem I wrote about me loosing my best friend (well she didn’t know what it was about). I didn’t want to say no because it would have hurt her feelings, so I said “sureâ€. She started reading the emotion-filled poem out loud. We had a visitor in our class who, just from the few lines my teacher had read, was completely focused in and had an amazed look on her face. Apparently so did everyone else in the class.
As she was reading, I started to realize what the words actually meant to me. They weren’t just […]
this is me..
myra..
today was another bad day for me at school..
im still being picked on..
teased.
rumors are apread about me..
lies are said..
while im keeping everything inside..
nobody knows myy life..
nobodys knows what ive gone thrui
nobody knows how much im keeping inside whle others add more to it..
why me..? im not mean to people…
im not sloppy im not disrespectfulll and i never act like im better…
i am stilll on the edge ..
i have a choice im going to think about..
take acoupple steps forward and fall?
or take acoupple steps back and […]
Here i sit in class, reviewing for my end of course exams.. and all i can think about is suicide.. Cutting, im thinking about using my scapel for the first time. The sharpness is 0.6mm.. does anyone know how sharp that is .. like if i were just to press it lightly to my skin how deep would it cut me? I know many of you are gonna tell me not to cut, and are probally gonna avoid anwsering the question i dont blame you. But i wanna know ive looked it up on […]
This is me and my x boyfriend. I met him at a party he was the first guy i was truely happy with. I love him so much i was willing to give up everything.. even my virginity. but we never made it that far. When he got a job he started to like another girl. Weeks past and i noticed he was distancing himself from me, one day i asked him ” what time do you get off tonight” and he snapped saying “why […]