No matter how I try to be positive and make things better, there’s always an anvil waiting to fall on my head. There’s just so much crap one can endure. My perfect day is Friday. Sayonara.
Tag:
Screw
Ugh, seriously, fuck everyone. After years of not talking to anyone, I finally get to meet my old friends, and they treat me like shit. Fuck them, fuck you. You would probably treat me the same if you met me. Everyone is the same, why can’t everyone be nice like in those fairy tales? Well whatever, I don’t care. I won’t have to worry about that when I’m dead. I’m giving pill overdose another shot, hopefully it actually works this time. Goodbye, I’m dying.
I apologize too much.
I’m sure the same thing can be said a lot of people, but I know personally that when I screw up, I apologize over and over because I honestly don’t know how else to be forgiven. I get mad at myself if I can’t seem to get a person to reconcile with me even if I’ve tried reconciling with them already. I’m not the most eloquent person you’ll ever meet. And for any of you who know me, you know I’m far from it. But I don’t need to be eloquent for you to understand a feeling, a concept. Those are […]
I don’t have to much screwed up in my life but i still feel like i serve no purpose and every time i think about it i know that there’s gonna be someone whos happy that im gone. but every time i think this i remember my life a year ago. at that time i was on so much bullshit. I judged people on how they looked and i just walked around acting like i knew everything and just didn’t care and didn’t see and deep meaning in life and just treated it like something that was a joke. then the week of my birthday […]
That’s it I’m giving up there’s no benefit from being here the only thing I do well is screw up so I’ve decided to kill myself before I fuck up again so I say goodbye.
Sometimes, I do wonder. How could hell be a place much worse than here? At least there, I’d know why I’m there. I dont know why I’m here. I’ve always wanted to be the person..the one who helps out that kid..the kid that no one knows is going through something, or feeling llonely, or contemplating suicide…I realized tonight that no one feels this way but me. I AM that kid. Â The kid that silently feels like a screw up..the one who relies on men because they have no one else. The one who feels lonely and hides well enough that everyone thinks im fine. I […]
SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT. I am so screwed. i made a secret instagram and then accidentally commented on one of my friends photos. (forgot i3 asnt signed into my normal acount) Â I deleted uit like a minute ago but she saw it and commented things like it made her cry. shw found out and now everythings all messed up. :/ WHY AM I SUCH A SCREW UP? 🙁
Sometimes all we really want to do is shut out the world. Crawl into our bed, pull the blankets over our heads, and blast some depressing songs. I can completely relate to this. My parents say that i need to get out more and i need to come out of my room more frequently but my room is my sanctuary. It’s where i feel the safest. My blades, my “Torture Toys”, my laptop, my phone.. these are all in my room.
My boyfriend used to wonder why i dont talk much or why i look sad all the time. he didnt understand that i had just […]
You know what? When I wrote my post “Too Much”, for some obscure reason I kind of hoped that I might get a comment, a word of encouragement or maybe even a “don’t do it” type response. Is that what this site does? Keeps people coming back to see if they’ve had some words of encouragement? Well I’ve failed the test again – there’s nothing left to do. All I can hope is that I don’t screw up my final act like I’ve screwed up almost everything else. When my Grandfather was on his death bed he told me […]
I guess I just don’t know what I want from people anymore. It’s like I’m screaming for someone to take two seconds to notice that I’m dying. It’s like I’ve fallen down in the middle of a stampede, and everyone just keeps trampling me. They don’t notice that they’re about to lose me. Would they care? Would they even notice if I was gone? My own boyfriend is so obsessed with that damn piano that he doesn’t have time for me. I understand, because I’m a music major too, but I’d drop my guitar for him anytime. He knows that I’ve struggled in the past […]
this is messing with my thought process. The endless cycle of bad, then good, then worse.. I dont like making decisions that i know will hurt my other relationships, like with my friends. After 6 days on break, where i was out of energy to really think about anything, and have everyone repeatedly tell me that hes not worth it, hes a fat, ugly guy who cant be a athlete, etc. He decides he wants to be with me. I felt instantly better because this kid has changed me in ways i dont understand. I really want to explain this to my friends, but they […]
I don’t even know why I’m writing this, I guess because I have nothing else to do. I’m almost 22, graduating from a community college this semester, jobless, and still living with my parents. I just feel fucking pointless though.
I say graduating, but I know that’s only if I can actually make it through these 2 classes I’m taking. I can’t study, I never want to, all I want to do is just waste my life away on video games, so I don’t have to think about my current life. I’m still living at my parents house, and not to brag but they are decently […]
ok, i have something on my mind. And I know that other people have it much worse, but I’m just gonna say my story.
My life is not bad. I don’t know where my depression started. But it did. And it won’t go away. I just feel like the biggest misfit. I cut and starve myself. I have to admit, its mainly for attention. It’s not working though. I don’t know whats wrong with me. I can barely think anymore, my thoughts are so mixed up. Everything hurts. I hurt everyone I care about. People think I’m a freak. They have a right to, because I […]
So many countless times I have thought about killing myself.I wrote suicide letters after everytime I think about it. I have attempted it a couple of times but then I chicken out. I’m scared of death. I don’t know what Is going to happen to me. I wish I could be dead for a couple of seconds then come Back to see what death is and if I’m able to see things again. Will I see eternal darkness, will I be stuck in a happy dream? Or will I be reincarnated as someone or something else?
I used to think that being scared of death right […]
I see people on here postinq poems and sonqs.Well here’s Houston’s finest.Not your type of sonq,ssssoooo.Listen to what there actually sayinq.
Z-ro My Story
Yo man,what’s up Ro man you trippinq son.Put the qun down dawq It ain’t even worth all that man let’s talk about […]
If you saw me you wouldn’t look twice, but I am not like you or anyone you know. I was bullied for being fat and having glasses. When i was 13 I slit my wrists in the bathroom. I passed out, woke up a few hours later then went to school the next day. I still have scars. I went to live with my father who would fight with my step-mom every night. Now, my father is dead, drank himself to death. My mother has a druggie boyfriend, my brother is drinking now. I just would rather be on the street than be here anoter […]
when subjected to huge amounts of pain, nerves go numb, bodies go into shock and consciousness shuts down. Mental pain, on the other hand, never lets up. It piles on thicker, higher, heavier each day and there is no relief. Screw fire & brimstone. If I were to design hell for the worst criminals and worthless souls to be or tired with unspeakable agony, it would be exactly my life. Which begs the question: what did I ever do to deserve this?
I don’t know if I should post on here anymore. My friend found me and has read why I put, and I’m betting you they think I’m a total freak, I don’t know if they deleted the account….so yeah. I’m a screw up, everything I do backfires. Even looking for help fucked up
Why do I keep fucking shit up? Why am I so stupid? I just… Feel like I am no good to anyone. I feel like all I do is screw shit up. I have nowhere to go, no friends that I can rant to freely without them getting annoyed and I’m left to this site. I have hit rock-bottom, and my last resort was this website.
Tell me, how pathetic does that sound? A site called The Suicide Project is where I go to when I need to vent. Yeah, most may call me lucky: I’ve been accepted into an amazing cosmetology school, I’m a model, […]
It’s been a brutal semester. I just need to get this out, so I can concentrate on completing my final paper. I’m feeling tremendously overwhelmed. Failure weighs heavily, on my mind, I got kicked out of university my first year, I took too many classes, yes my parents pressured me, but I could have said no and I missed the deadline to withdraw without penalty. One of my friend’s had the same problem and she found out we could talk to the dean, I didn’t show up for my appointment with the dean because I believed all the things I had ever heard about myself […]
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