Take another step dear,
take another breath dear,
bow to your fans dear,
and poof, you disappear dear.
Take another shot hun,
Drink until your numb, hun.
It’s all a buncha fun,
Bam, shouts the gun!
Buy a bikini, dear
and make it pretty, dear.
wear waterproof makeup dear,
cause you wanna look good, dear.
now jump in the water hun,
let it take away the pain, hun
and Done done done, hun,
you’re done.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I havn’t written a poem or song for a while. I guess because things have been okay since since last monday, I started going downhill again, I have a […]
Tag:
Self Harm
I need to change something before it’s too late, but I just can’t.
by sono_libero
written by sono_libero
This lady came to my school today and talked about the dangers of dark magic. She talked about demon possession and how she was able to conjure spirits when she was in high school. I find it all entirely fascinating, but I am getting far too caught up in the dark world for it to be safe anymore. I feel constantly trapped in darkness and emptiness. I am never happy anymore. I have nothing to live for. I stopped using drugs and cutting nearly six weeks ago, and everything has grown worse, instead of better, since then. Everything is a constant battle. Far too often, […]
i feel useless to this world. im not good enough for anyone or anything. i suck at everything i do and i’ll just be a failure the rest of my life. im ugly, stupid and an annoying ***** who needs to die. i’ll never be the pretty one, i’ll never succeed. my mind is all fucked up with suicidal thoughts and im not the person who i was before. now i just wanna die and escape this pain. what reason do i have to still be here if no one loves me, the only thing i’ll do is cry myself to sleep, self-harm, and hate […]
I haven’t been here in a while, but that doesn’t mean anything.
I don’t know what’s wrong now.
I feel…
anxious (for no good reason)
afraid (but not sure of what)
alone (but I have the same number of people to talk to as before)
I keep trying to…
not give up
curl up and disappear (physically)
not self-harm
self-harm as much as I can
understand myself
give up
tell off the offensive
submit to avoid attack
live
die
I don’t know what is going on. Help… Anyone?
She sits in her room
And writes out her sorrows
Getting it on paper
She can face tomorrow
A razor in hand
She slices through her pain
Destroying her own body
Trying to forget her shame
Looking in the mirror
She despises what she sees
The words pop in her head
“Pale, awkward, fat, ugly”
She stumbles through the day
Tells everyone she’s fine
She tries to force a smile
So they’ll all believe her lie
She chooses to be on her own
Loner is her middle name
Because people ask questions
Too complicated to explain
She lies awake at night
Afraid to shut her eyes
Scared of what she […]
it’s been 17 fucking years.
in all honesty i can’t wait until it ends. 14 cuts this morning, more soon to come. starving myself, pulling out my hair. what a great way to spend my birthday.
anyway, im losing everybody, which is what i want even though it hurts. i dont want anyone to live for so i could finally just fucking die. my birth day isnt a happy day, i’d say its the worst day of my life tbh. all i want is a nice new pack of razor blades…..
When you’re all alone, and there’s nobody to hold you,
you cry, you weep, all by your lonesome.
When there is nobody to care, and you’re swalloed into despair, you give up. Ready to see what’s really up.
Scream and cry, swallow and die.
Sleeping pills that were supposed to take your life.
Wake up with an IV in your arm, people asking questions whether you’re into self harm
Drinking charcoal, in a hospital gown.
They shouldn’t have saved me. What the Hell do I do now?
They put you in a mental hospital when you’re released from the hospital.
Sleep in a bed with lumps, shower in a gray bathroom.
I was there for […]
i want to tell my story, i want people to know the real me.
What I remember most from my childhood is violence, fights , tears, fear and harassment.
I remember I was afraid to go home because I did not know what was happening at home.
4 years ago I was raped by my brother, It happened many times over one year.
The only thing that stopped him was that he moved..I was young and did not realize that it was not appropriate..
I have met him many times after, but I do not understand how he can look into my eyes and pretend that nothing has happened..
A few years later my dad […]
why? it’s a question I am always asking myself
why am I doing this?
why do I want to be perfect?
why me?
why am I different?
why do people treat me like this?
why do I harm myself?
why do I hate myself?
why do other people hate me?
and I don’t know how to answer any of them, but they’re always there haunting me, making me hate myself for what I do, make me hate everyone else for not caring enough to notice me, make me hate my life and causing me to inflict more self harm. It is a never ending circle, one I feel I will never escape, […]
dont be fooled by the title , i havent cut for two days now that may not seem like a lot to you but it is to me , so i have decided to take a break from this website , i want to forget my past of self harm and i cant do that when i have this page i hope you understand , i am thankful for the people on this website who have helped me to realise that u dont have to be perfect for people to love you , im not fully convinced though 🙂
another reason i wont be using my […]
I was born on December 16th 1998 into a loving supportive family, I don’t know how I ended up like this.
My mother was a tattoo artist, and my father a truck driver. They were too busy when I was a child to take care of me, so I had to go to daycare. The first time I was called a bad name was in that daycare. Ever since that day I’ve never forgotten everything I’ve ever been called. And that was also when the nightmares started. I don’t know if they were interconnected, or whether I just made it all up to get over it, […]
People underestimate how much music means to me. They have no idea that music is the only thing keeping me from a mental institute. Music does so many things for me. It keeps the monsters of the night away, it pushes away all feeling cutting couldn’t. It keeps my anxiety down, and calms me when I need it. It’s the only thing I’m alive for. The depression, the anxiety, the eating disorders, the bipolar, the ADHD, the personality disorders, they’d all be 20 times worse without music.
And trust me when I say I’d be dead by now. Without music, I wouldn’t have that one song […]
I haven’t cut in a few weeks. The urge to start cutting again is eating at me. I can’t stop thinking about those razors and knives. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried so many different things, but none of the alternative methods are working. I’m tired of trying, I just want to give in to the urge.
I was thinking back about when I started to self-harm. It’s not really clear to me, but I think it’s a long time ago. I’m now 17 and I can remember that at an age of 10 I was already self-mutilating. Things like bang my head against the wall when I was not feeling well and hurting myself by means of abusing to myself, provoking quarrels and so on. Maybe I started earlier, but at an age of ten I can remember it very well. Therefor I can remember I was nail biting, but not other things that can be specify as self-mutilating behavior. The […]
I’ve never felt right on this earth. I’ve been depressed and made small attempts (self harm?) since primary school. I had a loving (if alcoholic and over controlling) mother who took her own life by car exhaust when I was 12. My sleep pattern got fucked, school work started slipping and I started cutting. I got close to a full attempt and chickened out at the last minute when I was 14. My dad was just really angry and refused to let me seek help. I had a grief counsellor, but I’m not sure […]
Hello, ladies and gents!
First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Joni. I am 17.
and well, like everyone else here, I’ve battled back and forth with negative thinking.
I was never officially diagnosed, but I have struggled with an eating disorder since middle school. Now, I am much better. I love to eat. I was never actually bad in the first place, but a couple of times I could have passed out. Now I have blood sugar problems, but nothing unfixable!
What I deal with the most is the ocd/anxiety/depression. Though I am healing, I still have many many days where I just feel completely […]
I feel numb right now, Â maybe of the anti depressants im taking, they make me feel weird. I cant sleep even though ive taken enough sleeping tablets to knock me out 3 times. I dont have anyone to talk to. I dont have the energy to write details, but here is my basic story.
My life for as long as I can remember has been unhappy, Ive been physically & mentally abused all my life. It made me insecure, I developed an eating disorder, self harmed and was suicidal a long time, I told myself when i’m older I wont feel like this and it will […]
I woke up this morning, crying after a nightmare where my fiance was murdered. I wish I didn’t have to get out of bed.
Last night, after I published that post saying that my boyfriend said he’d take care of me in my time of need….he confessed something to me: that he has been suicidal on and off since he was ten, and that he really needed to burn himself (his form of self-harm). I ended up getting pissed off that he was pulling this on a day(night) where I needed him more than usual.
Today, with a few bumps in the road, I tried my best […]
Well people it’s a cliché that we born to die, but is true we have moments but always the end is dead, so what is the problem with smoke? What is the problem with uncontrolled sex? What is the problem?
We spend all our life trying to find a way to live more years or to be healthy… Life is more than that and maybe that’s why we are here in this site screaming and begging to someone’s support and a shoulder to cry, we are a symbol of self harm because we choose it unconsient.
I know how hard is but please take my […]
We all have felt the pain of this cruel world. Bullies, insensitive adults, ridiculing teachers, and so much more. This is a pain that seems to last forever. Truth is, it really does. I still can remember the pain I felt when I was bullied in elementary school. No matter how many cuts and bruises we take, we will never feel a relief. I love to feel the bite of any razor, and even cut over the same cuts over and over. Still though, over time the pain I recieve from these cuts dwindle more and more over time. My body now ridden with dozens […]