I have a question to all the self harmers out there,..
Anytime I cut, scratch, burn, ect..they get really infected but whenever I get a scratch or cut from something not caused by me it doesn’t get infected at all.
I don’t understand…help?
Feb. 8th I tried to kill myself. I have never attempted anything like this before, but God knows I have been thinking about it for way too long. I was down stairs doing some practice cuts on my wrist, just to see how hard I needed to press and figure the whole mess out. The first cut was quite demeaning. I think one drop fell out, so I tried again in a new spot, harder this time. This time I got a good amount to come out. As I was getting ready to go even deeper and harder I dropped the razor blade and it […]
I look at my hips, arm and belly. Seeing those red, fresh cuts is such a relief. The lovely pain, that beautiful bright red, those little blood drops, your sharp knife. That good feeling that isn’t possible to express in words. Just that feeling that isn’t repositionable…
be straight up I suppose…. My names Serena , I’m in 7th grade at Bemidji Middle School , I have a smile on my face most of the time(= , but everybody knows im ‘depressed’ , because …. I cut myself , a lot… my legs , my arms , my wrists , my stomach…. It make’s me feel better. I don’t know what else to do! , I ALWAYS get called a ; HOE , WHORE , **** , ***** , FAT , UGLY , WORTHLESS , ATTENTION WHORE , DUMB , BOYFRIEND STEALER , etc.. It sucks , a lot , I don’t […]
And finally number four, self harm.
I hate those words, self harm. It’s strange that to some people it simply means a problem that someone has, to others it’s a consuming addiction. I don’t even know how to talk about it, I’ve never really had to. Not out loud. People are too afraid to ask me about it face to face, or if they do they never come straight out with it, like if your parents try to have a sex talk with you, without actually mentioning the word sex. Thats what all of my friends are like. But the stupid thing is people expect me […]
Wanting to die is a strange feeling. It consumes all of the joy in you and turns you into mere nothingness. Empty, cold and numb are the best words to describe it. It has gotten to the point where I can be dripping in my own blood, not feeling anything, no pain, no emotion. I thought he was a new beginning but I mean nothing as always and I don’t expect anything different nowadays. Some people know about my self harm and depression but none of them can fix me. I’m far too broken to ever be helped, I don’t even know what it feels […]
Well this is basically an update of how i’ve been and where i’m at in life. I have turned 15 and my depression is eh more or less better, it isn’t as constant as before and now it’s more of a few days a week or so. My mother has found out i self-harmed and has told my doctor which created a huge shit storm that included me talking to a social worker and seeing a psychologist. Well i saw this psychologist and it was not what i thought it would be. She was very nice and fairly young and i went once a week for […]
So i was a happy girl, and i had friends, best-friends infact, i was chubby and proud, and never wore make up and honestly could’nt care less..and then when it hit year 9 everything changed, i got fed up of the ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ comments, and could’nt take it anymore, i went on the laptop alot and looked on websites like tumblr, but more importantly i looked at blogs like thinsperation. Â At first i just looked but never did anything, and then i started to starve myself in crave of a thigh gap and collar bones. I stopped eating completely and gave up on food. […]
I know for a fact that I get too emotionally involved when i watch movies/read books about depression/suicide/self harm. So why the hell do i still do it? When i do this i start to think of how shitty my life is. This makes me start to feel physically sick. They either make me feel like i have no reason whatsoever to be depressed and suicidal or they give me that false Hollywood hope. The characters always have some huge overwhelming problem that makes them depressed or whatever. Me? Well I’m just haunted by my past (been bullied badly), do poorly in school, rarely see […]
Today.
21 january.
One year.
One year of self-harm.
One year of cuts.
21 january.
21 january 2012.
The day.
The day I started cutting.
Cutting on my hands.
Cutting on my feet.
Cutting on my hips.
Cutting on my belly.
Cutting on my lower arms.
Cutting on my wrists.
Cutting on my chest.
I can remember that day as yesterday. Saturday 21 january 2012. I grabbed a scissors and started to scrape and scrape on my hand until there was a little scar with a very little bit of blood. I did it, couldn’t go back. Well, it doesn’t matter, right? It was just […]
A while ago I read something about The Butterfly Project. It’s a project to help self-harmers to stop with self-harm. I wanted to share this with the people here, so I decided to make a post with the rules and how to. I am also a cutter for exactly one year now. I really want to join this project one day, but I feel I’m not ready for it yet.
The Butterfly Project
The Rules:
1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on the place you want to cut.
2. Name the butterfly after […]
Yesterday I lost my closest friend. He just stopped talking to me, he won’t reply to me, and he usually replies really fast.
I know he hates me, but I don’t understand why.
He happens to be best friends with my worst enemy, and she tweeted indirectly “So glad he has finally seen your true colours”, but the thing is that I haven’t done anything that could make him angry at me.
He really liked me, and I don’t feel the same way about him, and when I told him that, he hated me, but then we sorted it out. He said he cared about me […]
Well. Personally, i’ve been called more names than can be counted. Well, ever since 1st grade i have gotten judged for being me…. for my style, my personality, ect… And i got so tired of it. Even now it bugs me. I always say i dont care what people say but deep down, i do. I cut, and i have for a while now. No one knows about it. I just wish that society would stop judging people for who they are. They have their own way, their own style and personality, their own appearance… They are their own person. So why in the world […]
Today sucks, I completely freaked out today and I was very angry. Angry on myself, on the world, on my sister, on my parents, on the stupid weather, on everything. But mostly on myself. Directly after or actually during my angerexplosion I went to my room, jumped into my bed and started to hit myself. On my wrists, my chest and my shin. After that I still were angry, so I decided I needed more pain. Grabbed my knife and started cutting. After a while I had stopped and my mother walked into my room. She asked some things and I had to cry… After […]
This morning I looked outside and all I saw was snow. You may think: “Is that special?? O.o” Well, I can tell you: yes, it is. Because in The Netherlands we don’t really have severe winters or often snow. So when there is snow, it’s special. Especially when it’s like 6 inches, like today. I had to go to my part-time therapy (from 9 am till 3 pm every monday till friday) and luckily my father brought me. There was like more than 1000 kilometers of traffic jam, a new record! (on a normal tuesday in the morning it’s around 300 kilometers) and we also […]