Its not something I want to feel though. Because I know damn well I have so much ahead of me in life and I can’t just give up just like that. But the shit I’ve been through just barely pushes me over the edge sometimes. I often find myself thinking about how normal other peoples lives are and how I wish I was in their position. I think I’m too much of a ***** to commit suicide anyways, Â I dunno. I just feel like God has so much in life to offer for me. I have plenty of people to talk to but when it […]
Tag:
Shit
I have had enuff of this world and all the shit it brings. I’ve had enuff of trying so hard only to be shoved down again! I’ve had enuff of not living just surviving. I’ve had enuff of crying myself to sleep. I’ve had enuff of cutting my arms and legs. I’ve had 15 years of this shit. This is my goodbye to this cruel ass fucked up universe. Deuces. This rope is my exit strategy
Everything today has gone to shit….
My brother just waking up and going to watch tv somehow got on my nerves
I had a credit card company call and leave a message
I had a bike stolen a while ago which was given to me by my landlord and she just asked where it was…. (least of my problems)
I lost a friend and I don’t know why… I just woke up and all of the sudden shes unfriended me…. 🙁 this one hurts the most…
I ruined my plant – I was trying to change the cycle to make it bud, covering it with a garbage bag, and now […]
I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I FUCKING HATE HIM. I keep trying to tell him he’s gonna regret the way he treats me and it would hit him hard and suddenly. Why can’t he see I’m dying? He’ll feel it when I’m gone… Then maybe he’ll learn his lesson and treat her right too… She acts like it’s nothing, but he’s hurting her too…. She’s got enough aggrivation with my stepdad, she doesn’t have to deal with Aedan too… I fucking hate him… I hope when he finds out […]
Why do I always have to think of my flaws. I mean I can list a lot but I won’t but I am really getting tired of sitting hear at night just thinking of shit that i seam to never be able to become good at. 🙁 I wanna be happy again.
Love is like a fart! If you have to force it, it’s probably SHIT!
by motogeezer
written by motogeezer
By reading most of the post’s here really revolve around love. Or lack there of. Usually a father or BF/GF thing. I know some of my issues stem from relationship shit. Why do we insist on letting our selves be torn apart by the opposite sex?
i was so close. so close. my evil sister told my mom that the past few days i have been overdosing (she knows everything bout me) my mom went into a flip attack and started screaming at me other shit i was so hurt my sister told more hurt my knew before i left the earth. she was contemplating letting it go or taking me to the hospital. she chose hospital. ha i got out of that, thank god. now im in trouble. like lots of trouble. i want away and out of my family im fed up qith them, they parent based on […]
I guess ill start from the begining… I grew up without a father, for my childhood, I never had fun because I was always forced to do homework from books that you can buy. If I did a problem wrong, I would get hit with a wooden stick on the hands or slapped in the face… I always enjoyed games since I grew attached to it considering my mom was at work. Playing games also were the part of the my life where I would unstress my selfI also never had an actual summer since my mom still forced me to to spend all my […]
I don’t think that its that I want to kill myself. I just really want the shit to stop
I’m just so bloody fed up! I’ve quit drinking, smoking weed and smoking cigarettes, these used to take me away for a bit from the heavy depression i’m now feeling all over. Today I got rid of my best friend once and for all because they were just bad for me and made me feel like shit most of the time.
Although I’ve done this, I now have no one as I don’t trust anyone and find it very hard to get close to anyone.
A friend of my family committed suicide a few months back and the damage they caused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But I can’t help thinking how lucky […]
I can’t believe I keep letting this happen.
I have this boy I love having sexual intercourse with, he’s absolutely amazing, everything is nice and perfect size.
Anyway, he’s always treated me pretty bad, like there’s no relationship here just casual sex but still, respect is needed and this thing works two ways, okay so he was all like keen and now he’s only allowed to ask me when he’s keen I’m not allowed like seriously.
Oh and now he’s bringing more people into it. I don’t know how to say no so I go along with it. And tonight it’s just gotten out of […]
here i am at the fucking crossroads again…FUCK!!!!! I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Depression has wrapped its arms around me, i am so fucking tired of this battle, day after day after fucking day. Yea take MORE meds! yea THAT IS THE FUCKING ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!! take ALL of them!
Its been almost 2 months since my dad agreed to stay out of our lives. Ive hated every minute of it, Ive sent him messages, texts, basically anything to get him to contact. After our last arguement a few weeks ago, he said fine..I mean he didnt even fight to see me..He spent ten years away, in prison. Now its been almost 3 years since hes been out..Ive only seen him almost 2 years out of that. My mom keeps saying instead of being so rude to him, which I will admit im doing now because he wont respond at all, try asking if he`ll […]
If he lives I hope you all die painful, torturous deaths. If he doesn’t make it, I hope you live extremely long lives. And I hope that everyone you ever love is taken from you. If he dies I hope your lives are hell. I want you to wish that you could have been afforded the courtesy of being beaten to death. I hope someone bashes your fucking kneecaps in. I want you to wish you were dead. I hope you fucking rot. You deserve less than nothing.
Getting drunk or wanting money is not an excuse. You’re fucking pigs. Worthless pieces of shit. You don’t […]
Well I’ve become friends again with a girl i went to high school with, not sure if I’ve mentioned it before… But anyway every weekend for the past 2 months we go out clubbing and everything but she doesn’t invite me out on Wednesdays or Thursdays which are the most social days of the week here… I don’t want to ask to go because like that’s just asking to be around people who don’t or might not want you around you know?
Uhhh I don’t know what to do at all, I over think things to much and create problems that don’t need to be […]
I can’t. this isn’t living. This is barely fucking surviving. And I can’t take this anymore. I should’ve done it right the first time or hell even the second time…who knows maybe the third time’s the charm. Fuck! Fuck it all to hell. I can’t even think straight anymore. I just want this to end. it’s time for my pathetic/miserable existence to end
i just dont know how i feel anymore, about anything? that doesent really make sence but thats how i feel. i feel completly alone, dont really get out of bed either.. when i go see a few of my close friends i feel normal and good for a while but i suppose thats because i just get stoned. i suppose ive told them how i feel but they dont get it, they just reply with shit like things will get better but i dont feel like they will? i feel empty and drained and bored of living. i litterally stay in bed and listen to depressing […]
So yeah, it’s been quite a while since i last posted here, almost a year i think. Still alive.
Mum found out about my addiction ’cause i told her, she was helpful the first 2 days but then she just starting yelling at me and threatening me and shit, that’s what i fucking need when i try and quit pills and when i have so much anxiety i’m shaking, along with some depression. fucking great.
can’t find a job either, so that’s fun
EDIT: a couple or a few weeks ago i was almost kidnapped, then the next week i got beat up, this week i […]
well im a thirty three year old single man who has no real friends,i did not go to the military and i did not go to a four year college after highschool,as a matter of fact i dropped out of highschool, i got a GED and i went to community college,ive have been in and out of school for the past 14 years……whats worse is that i became a recluse christian type of person when i was in my best years nineteen through twenty-one,i started trying to live at twenty-six years old after being into a repressive christian life and i traded my sense of […]
and here we are again. Back to old self-defeating habits. Hope?
What is hope? Is it believing that there could POSSIBLY be something better? Is it waking up and looking forward to the following day?
Happiness?… We use this word as if it’s nothing. As if in a split second everything could go from complete shit, to being honky dory and you could be happy for the rest of your life. When someone asks me why I can’t “Put on a smile! Get out of the house!” I honestly don’t even know what to say. Yes, I know how to smile. But I don’t know how to mean it. All […]