Tag:

Smile

Seeing You

by Abselom 12/18/2012

written by Abselom

Seeing You, I cannot lie… it kills me

IÂ get even more depressed when I see You.

Your beautiful eyes.. dirty blonde hair that always flips to one side..

I think You’re beautiful.. absolutely beautiful..

But that’s what You think about.. Her..

Not me.

Seeing You smile, brightens up my day

yet still the room darkens, since Your smile isn’t towards me.

I hate seeing You, and not being able to talk to You

Hold You

Touch You

Kiss You

and mostly..

Love You.

I can love You from afar.. but it is not the same as when I was loving You upclose..

Seeing You is like a little knife being stabbed in my heart

and several blows to the stomache.

Seeing You […]

12/18/2012 8 comments

I thought things were getting easier, resisting the urge to cut myself. But knowing that I’m worthless to a large amount of people isn’t really helping me. I have all these emotions that I need to get out to someone in person but I don’t have anyone to get them out to. It’s like everyone around me is happy and at the moment there’s not one thing that’s making me smile. I feel physically and mentally tired and I’ve almost Â completely given up. I have no friends at school, I’m not close to my family, and the one person I need right now is ignoring […]

12/15/2012 16 comments

Can I die

by allalone15 12/12/2012

written by allalone15

My life sucks!!!! I go to this school were I go in twice a day and I have no friends. I always spend my time either at home or school. I have no social life. My mom is married to an asshole. My mom is pregnant and they dont even notice when im gone. Whenever my mom fights with her husband he always ends up hurting her. I wish I could help her but what happens I get yelled at. My other family live in Oregon, Montana, and Mexico. I never see them I miss them so much. No one even notices me. I […]

12/12/2012 6 comments

Suicide note. but don’t worry, i’m not going anywhere tonight

by imsodone12 12/11/2012

written by imsodone12

so, today i felt like i had to write my suicide note because i was feeling really crappy. Â i don’t know if Â id ever do it, but i had the biggest urge to tonight. so here it is, just so i could tell someone.

mom, i love you and i always will. you were always there for me, always helped me with anything. but i dont think i could be helped this time. this was my own choice.
i have always wanted to leave. i was always forcing that smile and laugh, just so you thought i was happy. i was never happy. i don’t know […]

12/11/2012 2 comments

Not even the sunny days can make me smile

by blind.cinderella 12/11/2012

written by blind.cinderella

Breakdown. Well not yet. Nothing is well. I am really close to the edge. Certainly there is no one i can admit this to. I want to cry myself out at this very moment because so much has piled up and i put Â everything in my little drawer and now everything has fallen out and what a mess. Look at me, i am just sitting in the middle of everything so mad and frustrated,embittered so that is probably why i can’ t cry. Â I get up every morning and i am going to get up tomorrow too, well maybe around noon since it is Â late […]

12/11/2012 0 comment

Nearing the end

by Hailee444 12/9/2012

written by Hailee444

I’mÂ 15 and I cant understand why I am alive. Â Life just seems pointless, we live we get hurt we die. the end

is thereÂ somethingÂ like a point to it ? I understandÂ there’sÂ happiness in live but is it really worth Â all the pain we go through?

My heart has been broken so many times IÂ don’tÂ even know ifÂ there’sÂ any of it left. Â Everyone iv ever loved in my life has been

taken away from me some how, my step dad died of cancer and my mom was taken by drugs and my dad by alcohol . my sisters

following down the same path as my mother. I have a boyfriend who i care […]

12/9/2012 3 comments

Just Smile

by YesImloveable 12/9/2012

written by YesImloveable

When I’m feeling the most down, I try not to look sad.
I absoultly hate when people pity your life.Â Â It has to be the worse thing.
Which is why you smile.
“Are you alright Elisabeth?”
“Oh yeah absoultly.”
Just smile, and hope that one day everything will actually be aliright(:

I said hope, I don’t know if that’ll actually happen.

12/9/2012 1 comment

I try…

by globbit 12/9/2012

written by globbit

i am a woman,but i feel like a child sometimes. im married with a child, i dont know want to have these thought because i love my family but i feel like shit. i dont know if im smiling or im just waiting for the end of the day i stay at home ive only had 1 job n been out off work for a while He works and goes to trade school…somedays i try i look online for work i clean but i just give up its like forever is a day and it comes everyday we’ve moved far away from my […]

12/9/2012 1 comment

Wow.

by IsabellaSmith 11/22/2012

written by IsabellaSmith

I’m thinking so hard about what I feel my head is hurting. I wish I could end this. Just close my eyes and be gone. But no, I must fight on. I must start feeling more than just angry and scared. I need something that will keep me passionate. I’m to scared to let anyone in because I don’t want to break them. I have friends but they only hang around the shadow of me. The one that makes them smile but don’t mean to but that is not me. Eyes are swollen from tears. I want die. I need to die. I tried, I […]

11/22/2012 1 comment

Alone In This Cruel World That So Many People Call Home While My Thoughts Brutally Attack Themselves

by Miss.Mayhem 11/22/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

I’veÂ attemptedÂ to write my suicide note. Or notes I should say. I’m not even done with the one to my love. It’s like 4 pages long already and not even close to being finished. Do I know if I’m going to commit suicide? No. I just want everything ready for when and if it does happen. I see it being a 30 to 70%. 30% being I won’t attempted it. The other 70% is I will. Probably not now but latter.

Tomorrow and Thanksgiving and I’m not sure what to be thankful for. My family resents me. My friends will eventually turn their backs on me. What’s […]

11/22/2012 0 comment

Guys, this life needs you!

by tryingToLive 11/21/2012

written by tryingToLive

Just want to say to all who is in hard time at the moment, STAY STRONG, you were born to make a diference in this world.

You are just so much better than thoseÂ people or things thatÂ upset you, who ignoring you, who or whatÂ makes you scared… There are people who love you and whoÂ DO care for you, they may be near, or you’ll meet them later in your lifeÂ (you sureÂ will),Â and they need you. Think about them. Do not be selfish. You are wonderful, beautiful and this world needs you!

Believe in yourself! I DO!

Read some books, look for answers, talk to somebody, look in to yourself, try […]

11/21/2012 3 comments

by SafeHaven 11/20/2012

written by SafeHaven

Sometimes it is like there is nothing inside of me. Â Like I can’t move an inch or budge my eyes. Â Like I can’t twitch my mouth into a smile or raise my voice from a whisper. Â There is nothing. Â I am nothing. Â And there is nothing to live for.

Other times, like right now, it is like I am screaming in pain. Â No one hears it because it is stuck tight in my veins. Â Never exuding to the surface to see the light of day. Â But I see it. Â And I feel it. Â And it hurts.

11/20/2012 1 comment

………………………………………

by falling_soup 11/17/2012

written by falling_soup

i am being bullied at school for being bisexual all because this one girl i thought i trusted told everyone… so much for thinking she was a good friend i am living at my friends house because my mom and i just can not live together and my friends dad is always telling me too smile and too be happy… he doesn’t know i am sad and it is getting on my nerves when he does that because it is all the time and honestly telling me all that and is not really helping i just ignore and tune out must of the time… I […]

11/17/2012 3 comments

Fake? I can’t anymore…

by dead_soul 11/8/2012

written by dead_soul

I canâ€™t live anymore.

Iâ€™ve tried to suicide since I was 11, and I was suicidal when I was 10.
Iâ€™ve faked a smile, a laugh; Iâ€™m good at hiding my emotions. I can act like Iâ€™m perfectly happy, when Iâ€™m hurt. I canâ€™t help it. I donâ€™t want to show. I canâ€™t speak up. Iâ€™m trapped in a living nightmare.
I feel like I have no family. My mom is always at work. And my dad…Him.

He sits in front of the computer and never seems to even MOVE. Heâ€™s like a statue, frozen. I feel like I canâ€™t talk. Talking to a statue is pointless […]

11/8/2012 3 comments

Tired of Breathing

by Crushedsoul 11/6/2012

written by Crushedsoul

I get a bunch of crap from a lot of people. I have been hurt all my life… I never got used to it. My dad calls me crap, tells me I’m not worth a place on Earth. My mom shoves God down my throat 24/7. My brother makes jokes about suicide a lot. I have to lie to my family, act like everything is fine. I told my grandma about my friends cutting to see what she thinks about cutting before I told her that I do it. She responded ” Oh My God, why would anyone cut, Â Its so disgusting.” I ended up […]

11/6/2012 4 comments

Mommy, mommy, where is the sun?

by Gumpy 11/5/2012

written by Gumpy

When the sun sparkles, it makes me glad. A gleam of a smile, itâ€™s nothing like sad.

The flowers arise and the draft sways the trees. Â Mommy, can I go outside please?

A luminous colour of green showers the turf, oh how much I love the earth.

A crack. A cling. A noise from above.

The thunder breaks as I clench my velvet glove.

The sky dims over the splendour, I crouch down, am I the only to surrender?

The devious rain, slashing at my back, somethingâ€™s coming, something I lack.

Mommy rushes over, gripping my arm. Runs to the house, takes me to the warm.

I look out the window, look out […]

11/5/2012 5 comments

I’m scared of happiness, I’m scared of myself.

by seriously.injured 11/5/2012

written by seriously.injured

Today is my best freinds birthday.
I couldn’t leave her alone on her birthday.
I have been thinking of suicide for So long, i was finally got the courage to do it.
But i thought, if i left my best friend, a day before her birthday.. she would kill herself to.
She is amazing.
I have just been going through such a hard time right now, and i honestly can’t live this lie anymore.
I’m so fucking scared to be happy. I’m scared of faking a smile. I’m scared to live. I’m scared to die. I’m scared to be alone.
I cut all the time. […]

11/5/2012 0 comment

Writing this down will lift it’s impact on me.

by Margaret 11/4/2012

written by Margaret

When I was diagnosed bipolar in 2007, my life was greatly devastated. Since 2002 I was taking online screening for depression on a pretty often basis and finding I was considered “severley depressed.” Now I was being told that sometimes I’m extremely happy? When have I ever been happy? I was hospitalized for 3 days a day after the first Christmas my Grand-Mother passed away when I was diagnosed by this hospital as bipolar. I could understand if I may have falsey put on a smile when saying hello to a nurse in passing but, it doesn’t even sound logical that I was happy. I […]

11/4/2012 4 comments

The darkness is creeping in…

by Alayna 11/4/2012

written by Alayna

Everyday I fight off the demons. Everyday I act like I’m okay. Everyday I creep a bit closer to insanity….

I can’t stop thinking about death. The thought of it scares me less and less as the days go by and that in itself terrifies me. I contemplate the slipping away into darkness, and I smile at the thought of never having to cry or feel again…

I have the means, but not the courage and that makes me want it even more. It’s like a forbidden fruit…

11/4/2012 3 comments

I wish I could be a little bit selfish

by justaline 11/3/2012

written by justaline

I’m tired of everything, I’m tired of putting a smile in front of everyone like if I was really happy, of pretending that I’m happy. I’m tired of feeling like I’m a failure and seeing the disappointment in my moms eyes, but she still smiles beacuse I’m her daugther, beacause I will never be as good a her, as my sister. That I don’t see a brilliant future for me, that I’m always going to be so insignificant, so worthless, and I wish I didn’t think about how them, about hou my family is going to feel if I died, and just think of myself.

So […]

11/3/2012 0 comment

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