Why did they choose me to bully?? Why did my friends back-stab me? i was nice to them and i spent my money on them and trusted them. They just threw my trust on the ground and stomped on it. I called them my friend but they where two faced bitches. I told them secrets that they promised to keep and they told the whole school my secrets. and then they tried to be my friend again, and i forgave them and they broke my trust over and over until i finally learnde that they will never change! I have heard the word sorry so […]
Tag:
Stab
My parents started to fight ever since I could remember. Â My father was abusive to my mother, not to me though. Still he screamed at me, kept me up all night telling me I was just a kid. HE broke chairs, smashed the house, broke my stuff, and hurt my mother very badly. I joined drama class at school, and he told me I couldn’t act. He crushed my dreams, and makes me feel worthless. All of my school days I have been bullied. The called me names, took away my jacket when it was cold, called me a lesbian, a wore, a fucking loser, […]
I looked back on some of the things I had written and realized that they didn’t apply to the rules of this website. So I deleted them. Up to this point, this message doesn’t apply to the rules of this website, so I should delete it. Until now. I can not stop thinking about killing myself. It’s everywhere I turn, everywhere I look. Eating dinner…stab myself in the jugular with my steak knife. Riding to work…just swerve in front of the oncoming traffic. Going to sleep…maybe I should take all my sleeping pills. I can’t get away from it.
So I’ve been suicidal for a long time, I usually get this way after someone has treated me badly and made me feel worthless. I attempted the first time when I was 17. I have been struggling for the past year and a half not to kill myself, I’m 24 now. Sometimes the urges were almost overwhelming.
For the first time in my life I started talking to my dad about how worthless I felt. He held me and I was able to cry for the first time in five months. I cried on him for five hours, cried so hard I broke out in fever […]
I was just sitting comfortably in bed watching TV and in a strangely good mood and then suddenly it all went black inside my head and all I can think now is that I want to stab myself multiple times. It’s sort of scary, really, the way I go from balanced and happy to furious and violent in seconds. I thought this sadness was going away, but it turns out it hasn’t, I’ve simply been distracted by school and a supposed social life but I’ve spent the last week at home pretty much alone. I don’t want my happiness to depend on other people or […]
I have lately been crying often due to the problems involving my family. It all started of when i hadn’t been talking to my dad for atleast 5 months.
Cause you see my parents are divorced and now i live with my mum and step-dad and siblings. Anyway, I didnt end up going on holiday with my dad. Kinda sad. Once the summer holidays i had sent him a message saying that im sorry but my phone didnt work so i had no contact with him and i told him that i now am back at home.
He hadn’t called or texted me .. i was getting […]
I’ve felt alone lately can’t seem to find where I fit in
I’m hated everywhere I go and have no one to talk to
lately my anemia(which I brought on myself) has gotten worse
i don’t know where to turn
i gave my all to a man for almost 2 years to be cheated on
I lost everything I looked at a knife and thought
“Where should I stab myself”
“I wish I had a gun”
when will this get better
sorry for this not making sense just venting
Just a shitty day… or a couple.
A day like today where I wake up feeling okay, and then I start thinking about all the things I’ve ever done wrong. And then I start thinking about how I’m a shitty person. And then, on top of that, I feel like I have zero things to offer. I try so fucking hard to be good at things, at art, at programming… I’m in college, getting decent grades and busting my ass… But I hate everything I’ve ever done. I’ve never accomplished anything and I feel worthless. I’m a huge sagging disappointment to myself. I feel ugly; I […]
People say you feel better if you tell someone about you ‘problems’.
After posting on here for the first time and seeing the couple supportful replies, that felt good and stuff…
The beginning of this story would be that The devil is back again and she hurt me this morning, as so arrived at school, I made the mistake of letting a f ew tears drop, there were just too many to hold. My friends,I’m gonna use their first letters of their names, J came over and started doing the whole comforting thing, asking me what was wrong I knew she didn’t know what was actually […]
I’m sick of doing so much shit for everyone around me and getting nothing in return. I’m nice as can be 24/7, even to people I can’t stand, and all I get back is, you got it, NOTHING. That or they treat me even worse. I’m just tired. What’s the point? Why bother being nice to people who are just going to screw you over, ignore you, stab you in the back, and treat you like trash? Not to mention I’m ALWAYS the third wheel. I pay for everything when I can, I treat everyone like freaking royalty and I’m starting to think they don’t […]
i wanna take them and stab them in me and just bleed out…i cant take this much more stress my family is so mean i wanna leave but hate saying “need to die NOW’ ..then never do i want out i wanna be free.. knives i love u..u wont leave me. u will be there for me when i know u r…i dont get this post just pissed
Hey everyone, I am having problems with love right now. Â I was trying to find a girlfriend but I mostly see girls that are kissing guys or gay girls. Â As a result I just feel left out because I am single. Â After a while of being single, I became lovesick. Â I lay on my bed not socializing anyone, just thinking about myself just trying to find a girl but to no avail. Â Worst case scenario, I feel like committing suicide. Â I just can’t handle being lonely and dateless. Whenever I look at teen pictures that show a girl and a boy kissing each other or […]
numbness of the mind
rots inside its self
begging you to be kind
only to yourself
i want what i cant have
numbness makes me aware of this
another threatening stab
killing whats left
god why?god why? god why?!?!
Hi my name is faith I’m 16. I’m depressed and have conteplated suicide many times, but never went through with it. I’m depressed I cut myself.I’m probally every teenager.I get depressed all of the time. My first insident of cutting myself was when I was 12. My friends did it so I though I was ok. I would do it in the middle of class and was never seen. Or if I was nobody cared enough to say anything. That just made it worse. My friends saw me do it infront of them and never tried to help me. I’m now 16 and I do […]
Have you ever wanted to get out of your life? out of your skin?
Why do i have to suffer?
I just want a different life, i want to be happy
i want this pain to go away
I can’t even feel anything anymore, nothing makes me laugh or even smile. I am just a broken mirror, useless and worthless.
I feel cold, joyless, hopeless, helpless and broken
There is no one to talk to ,I’m all alone in this painful world
I just want one day of happiness, just one day in a different life
I want someone to guide me, to hold my hand and take […]
Hey guys,I haven’t really been this open about my problems,but I feel like I need to find emotional support.Here’s what’s going on:First of all,there was this guy that I really cared about.We dated a little over a month.When we first talked,I actually thought that he was such a good guy when I didn’t even know that it was an act.Anyway,around the last part of the month,he didn’t see me for two whole weeks when he usually stops by every week.He told me one night that he was done looking for someone because he found me.So,I gave him the benefit of a doubt that he was […]
I’m so sick. Everyone wants me dead. Why do I keep trying to find someone to hold on to? Noone will ever care about me. I can’t keep the happy face anymore, it’s just too much. Everytime that I show someone the agony inside they’re like “Run for the hills”. I will always be alone. Noone could ever love a stupid loser like me. I thought that I could help if I would talk to people around here. But how could a fuck up like me ever help anyone when I can’t even help myself? Everyone is going to be better without me. Nobody will […]
So lonely but apparently having emotions is wrong is since I am a guy. It’s really just depressing how the world looks at my situation. Basically I’m a wuss for crying even though I have perfectly good reason to. Â Wanting to hug and kiss someone makes me needy although isn’t that one of the key thing man walks the Earth? To find love and acceptance? I was put in a crisis center aka mental hospital for people my age and you would think I would hate being there. If I can tell you this I love being in there. Sure the beds are hard to […]
All my life no one has really had high hopes for me. No one has ever motivated me into doing anything. Only my oldest sister has went to college and she still can’t find a job. My mom tells me there is no point in going to college in today’s time. Â Me I don’t care what my future holds. There is no future only a present. I get pissed off when I get treated like shit cause I have worked my ass off in school without ANY motivation to keep me going. I have done it all on my own. I decide always to work […]
Okay, one more time, I am going to try to go the Professional route. Too much seething anger when the depression fades, I am beating my appliances and slamming doors and just having too many impulses to tear my hair out or beat my own face. Did a lot of face slapping and strangling Monday and Tuesday. Roller coastering from numbness to anger to depression. Having to bite my lip hard not to say insulting things to co workers and get fired. Knowing this is crazy and useless and wrong isn’t helping. Gonna take one more stab at prescription help. Wish me luck