Hi my name is Kim and I am 15. You’re probably going to think I’m just another overly dramatic high school girl. Im not I have been through more shit than people should have to go through by the time they are 15. My dad died when I was 11 but my suffering started earlier in life. My dad drank a lot and when he did he would physically abuse me but when I turned 9 he didn’t drink as often but I’m left with mental scarring and get scared if someone raises a hand near me. He got leukemia when I was 10 and […]
Tag:
Stress
I  stumbled across this site while researching methods of suicide… I decided on Thursday t o kill myself and yesterday was supposed to be  be the day but i chckened out.  I know people say that suicide is selfish and think of your family but for me going on living seems more selfish.  I have been depressed for as long as i can remember and attempted suicide several times. I have been hospitalized  and see a therapist weekly but i am still deeply depressed and still cut daily. My mother thinks that i am crazy and wants me commited. Mostly so i would be out […]
Just a little preface, I am a 26 year old male who works for the biggest telecommunications company in Canada (I cant say who….) as an Install/Repair technician. I am only mentioning this because it will tie together further on.
Well, I had this one REALLY bad day, and I had suicidal thoughts which would not go away. I wanted to die, just like most other days… I have this one way bridge near my house, and I figured it would be good to hang from. It is a one way bridge, and a few people I know would see me there… The bridge is for […]
I could understand that my friend had loyalty to her mother, but not once did she ever really seem to regard my feelings. This added to the stress I had with her. Another time that created a rift in our relationship was when I went to the local fair with her, my friends mother, and her father. Originally we were supposed to go together at a certain time, but I would call her house and she wouldn’t tell me if she was coming with me or not, so I decided to go with another friend.
We were having a good time the first half of the […]
she is mad because she can’t control me, she gets with guys to control them and when they break up with her she tries to go to Church to control that!
If you’ve followed my posts you would know exactly the type of person she is.
She lies about everythin . She brainwashed me into running away from my grandma and running away from CPS only to call on me to get me intoruble. But I kept coming back thinking what she said was the truth , that she wanted to be a mother for once. Ever since I ran away to be with my mom, she […]
God I was feeling so good yesterday, and now it’s back to not being able to concentrate and having panic attacks non stop.
I’ll start at the beginning. A few months ago, my mum started getting really sick. At first she refused to admit it (she is a very proud person, and I guess I inherited it from her), but she eventually went to the doctor. Over the next couple of months, the doctor (and others he had brought in) couldn’t figure out if it was cancer or something less serious and therefore to this day haven’t diagnosed it. During this time, both my brother and I have […]
I spend every second of every single day trying to make sure that I am “skinny”. I don’t even want to be like.. anorexic. I just want to have a little skin on my belly. I used to be that, but due to high amounts of stress POOF! There goes my cute little body. I hate looking into the mirror. I wish I could erase what I see. I eat only smart ones, healthy choice, special K, or salad. Literally, this is it. I work out three to four times a week from thirty minutes to an hour. I swear I do not cheat on […]
My Life Just Needs To End…
 Well I’m 16 now but 4 1/2 half years ago my life started to change… For the worst.
 It was my 8th grade year I was so excited to grow up and be a “teenager” I knew a lot of people but didn’t have many friends I kinda kept to myself and my sister got me into weed so I thought I was the only one who smoked at my school. I kept it a secret from even my Bestfriend at a time… But then I met this girl and her name was Alex omg she was amazing she became closer […]
Anxiety, depression, Bulimia Nervosa and cronically alone.
After seeking treatment for Comorbid major depressive disorder and Bulimia Nervosa I though I would change and consequently my life would change. Reality is a whole lot different. I constantly have suicidal thoughts, high levels on anxiety and extremely low moods.
I find my self in the grips of yet another bad Bulimia time. On a good night I eat dinner once and loose it once, on a bad night I might eat 3 and loose 3. I do it not to be thin but to ease the anxiety and stress and as an avenue for self harm. I am […]
I’m Carys, and this is my story. It started back in seventh grade, from January to now. I had recently met a girl, Kristin. We clicked right away and life was good. Until summer. One of my friends from before, Olivia, started acting up a bit. She was quieter, and preferred to stay behind more. I got concerned, but she wouldn’t say anything. Later, I discovered Kristin was a lesbian, and she liked me. I was kind of astonished, and I didn’t know what to think. Eventually, I fell in love with her. At the same time, however, Olivia revealed to me she liked Kristin. […]
Ive been trying to get help from my so called friends for so long but its useless. Im pretty sure I just lost one by telling her about being suicidal. She told me she couldnt take the stress I was giving her and that I was burdening her with my depression. I have like three friends now and I feel horrible for messing up someone’s life with my problems. I dont get it, I thought when you needed help you were supposed to be able to ask your friends for it. So here I am in my downward spiral with its ever increasing slope, I […]
I have batteled depression since I was a teen, I am 31 now. I just started really getting treatment and tring to stick with it over the past year or two. I have a wonderful truley caring psychiatrist and am on a number of meds as she tries to find something that works.  In the mean time suciadal thoughts and idealations are a part of everyday life, I just want to be shut out and isolated from everyone so far that my mind keeps putting thoughts into my heads as to ways to kill myself. And I have tried, twice as a teen and twice […]
How does one cope with the monotony of life. Dead end jobs. Pointless relationships. Living for the weekend..
Is it really fair to say I want to commit suicide, if I feel like I’ve never really lived at all.
I thought giving up smoking drinking and drugs, while taking on exercise and healthy eating would improve my life but no. The little joy I had left in my life is gone.
I start work in a few hours, haven’t slept in a few days thinking about this. Is tonight the night. I’ve picked up the knife so many times already and pussied out, but this time I can […]
How do you really start something you feel inside and just want to vocalize? There is really no reasoning for any of this, I have made my decision, I just feel it will take a lot off my shoulders until then. I do have those around me who I can talk to but no one I can tell what I’m really feeling and the decision I’ve made. My plan is to next week once I can afford all of the equipment and means I need necessary is to make an exit bag, buy a canister of Helium, buy a regulator with tubing, and rent a […]
I just joined today and this is my third post already. I can’t believe how supportive people are on here. I’m really glad I found this. I glad I found people who feel like me.
Sometimes I wonder if I just want to leave because I’m not strong enough to handle the stress that is life, but I’m not stressed. I feel like I barely have feeling anymore, I’m just just here as a statue, as nothing. What is my life anymore? I work 3 jobs, all I ever do is work and drink. I’m not an alcoholic but I might as well be with […]
Who am I fooling?
This week has been messed up. No exams for most of it been at school to forget the stress at home. Playing with my friend and we just started kissing….and intense. AM I THAT MESSED UP? Now we are together but i know it will not last…..she will abandon me like everyone else. She makes me smile (havent done that in months) but two girls together in a catholic school….I HAVE GONE MAD it cant work!!!!!!!!!!
My family hates me, they always tell me they do. I hate how i remember it when i was little, how happy we all were. Now look, im scared to go home. I hate the people i should love. It drives me insane, how my own father can scream at me ” aww you going to cry, GOOD, now you can go f*ckin cut yourself!!!” I feel numb. From all this stress and pain. It makes me wanna die, makes me think they are better off without me. I know my mom is, she already left me here. My dad already wants to. I should […]
Every time my boyfriend sees me on this site he gets freaked out caaause he nos I’m crazy enough to commit suicide. I can’t take stress now a days and I don’t have much patients….
Depression ia good to people it nos how to just fuck your shit up. Sometimes you can’t help it.
I love to cut be chocked bite myself anything with pain I love… I don’t know why…
I wanna leave this place we call earth?!? Go into eternal life and be happy with no cre or problem swim with the stars paint a goat… Ive shroomed and left my body once […]
I am 15 years old & i have always been known as the happy friend (in my group of 14 friends.)
This past year everything has stopped being good. Life has been pretty shit since, and the worst happened back in september… my mum and dad split up. Dads foond someone new and my mum is attempting to move on after the worse depression i have ever seen her in:/
Its hard for me because i was ‘daddies little girl’. But he has a new family now and i see him once or twice a week if im lucky… i hate not seeing him everyday.
Also to make things better, […]
Hey. I did it. I survived till Florida. Thanks for all your help guys. Of course I’ll still stick around the site sometimes. My mom hasn’t noticed my scars yet but I think I’ve figurd out how I’m gonna handle it. Strangely, I’ve only been here a day and a half but all anxiety and panic attacks, stress, pain, it’s all completely dissapeared. God I’m so happy to be home. At the same time I kinda miss being miserable :/ But again, Thank you for helping me to get here alive.