After a long time of planning and wishing for death,
after a long time of procrastination. I might be ready to go.
My conclusion of life right now is looking to be that, I had a chance.
I had a chance to be happy, successful, have lots of friends, and have a good life. I tried, I shouldnt feel bad if I failed at the end, because I at least expressed what was in me to the world. It just happened that what was in me was not good or compatible. So in a way I did my part.
Soon very very soon. I will never be a bother to anyone again
It’s hard when the only thing that you truly long for is to disappear, to just not be. This option is not open to me, although it’s a sweet dream I know I won’t take that road. I can’t. I wish I could. I’m not scared, not afraid I’d fail or afraid of what comes after or anything. I’m not free to do it. I can’t get myself to ignore what it would do to those who know me, to my family. No one is close but the distance only brings more pain and questions when someone disappears. It would crush my dad. Those who […]
A couple days ago, someone posted some very nice information that suggested where I might be able to buy canned CO2 in significant amounts (for a possible exit hood that I’ve been thinking of). This post was taken down–most likely because it infringed on the rules of this website–and now it seems unlikely that I’ll be able to find the author of that post so I can contact them for additional information.
This makes me incredibly frustrated. There are thousands of other methods of suicide that I could utilize to end my life. Am I not allowed to have information on the least destructive of those methods? And one that […]
So I currently sit in hospital… I was successful but unfortunately I was revived… I was happy I was there I had eternal bliss but no I was revived unfortunately people “apparently” wanted me alive… I just want to be happy is that to much to ask for?
you know when you already know that your life is going to end prematurely not sure when but you know deep down it will happen sooner or later because life isn’t for you and you have no plans for life either and your drifting though each day and it’s getting harder and harder to bare and you sit there thinking why didn’t my first attempts work and since then your trying to find a more successful method but it’s hard to choose which way you would like to go out hoping u find the courage to go though with it
when I was a teen I […]
Cringe cringe cringe cringe I’m sick of this shit being dumped on me can’t handle it anymore even though I probably sound happy as fuck I’m not. Im slowly killing myself everyday causing my own pain I’m sick of my so called “brother” taking advantage of me. Just because he wants to fix his own life don’t come destroying mine honestly you made your decision marrying that ***** who takes control over your whole and the minute you say no she never lets you forget and then you get depressed and drink your own sorrows away. Can’t you see i’m trying to recover and heal […]
I guess places like this are why people love anonymous Internet posting so much.
If we met in person, I doubt we’d be friends. I doubt I’d get the lovely support I have been the last few days.
I might be one of the people you felt excluded, or trodden down by.
My friends are the ones with the bright smiles and pretty hair. My family loves and supports me. I got my chance to get an education, and was successful at it. I was never abused. I’ve never been dragged through the gutter.
People say I’m funny, and sweet, maybe too sarcastic sometimes. They think I’m smart and […]
This group seems to be having two distinctly different roles for me. First and foremost, I feel I’m gaining depth and understanding of my issues. Far better than any other form of help I’ve sought.
Countering that, I’m gaining insight into the reality of suicide. For the first time I can say I’m sure I’ll be successful next time. Sorry for the false alarm last night. Too confident too quickly.
The cats out of the bag. The handful of people around me are aware I’m considering. Though I’m not revealing a plan. I’m giving it time though so don’t fret.
The hardest part for me is letting go […]
I really want to kill myself. It seems like the only way I can somehow…escape the depression and anger and loathsome feelings and be happy. I was planning on overdosing but I hear that it’s very painful. Also that if I was not successful, getting your stomach pumped would too be painful. It seems like no one really ACTUALLY cares. Even people (1) I thought was my friend sorta is though he obviously doesn’t care. At least not about me he doesn’t. Death is inevitable so does it really matter when it is going to happen? I wish people wouldn’t make it or blow it […]
I’m worthless to society. There, I’ve said it. There’s absolutely no use for me and there is no way I’m ever going to be of use to anyone anymore.
I’m a 41 year old man, no relation, no proper education, no job, way too insecure to even handle anything remotely relating to success and having nothing of interest to anyone. When I open my mouth nothing of interest to anybody around me comes out of it. I really am of no merit to society.
It hurts a lot to see all the people around me have wonderful complete lives, with working careers, friends, hobbies and relations. Basically the […]
I just read this article… I guess the jist of it is, this guy, once successful, racially profiled and thrown in jail, didn’t do it, got the crime he didn’t do wiped off his record, gets job offers because he has the experience, but doesn’t get the jobs because he’s homeless. Yeah, once you’re on the bottom rung of society, you can never get out. http://buff.ly/1YWIKZZ
survive my suicide attempt. Only one. Straight forward attempt. I worry if I try again I won’t be successful and I’ll have created even more problems for myself. But I really wish it would have worked back then so that I didn’t still have to struggle. Cause pain. Live a meaningless life filled with unfinished projects, poverty, sadness, shame, isolation, regret. I just wonder what’s the fucking point to any of it. Why did I survive. My life has no grand purpose. I’m just another shmuck trying to get by, trying to stay sane, powerless, defeated and over it. I want to try again but […]
I’m thinking about doing it tonight. I’ll probably be a coward like the last few times, so don’t worry too much. However, in case of being successful I want to wish you the best. You’re all great human beings who deserve to be happy.
I have a few hours to think about it. But I’m scared. I’m afraid of succeeding. But I’m also afraid of not being successful.
I’ve only attempted once, but no one knew. What happens when you attempted to end your suffering? Everything from how did you feel to know you weren’t successful, your hospital stay and mental health evaluation? And how your friends, family, co-workers and employer responded and acted in the days, weeks and months after. And your thoughts based on how everyone treated or continues to treat you from a suicide attempt. And did things get better or worse after? Thanks!
If you want to tell details (means of exit etc) you can, but not necessary.
I am here today to get some helpful info. First off let me say I’m not here for being talked outta anything. I’ve made my own decisions and don’t need judgment or to b talked outta doing it. Also no religion please. I’m an atheist and would not like to hear about what a fictional character says about what I wanna do. I’m severely bipolar with extreme ptsd and have lost literally everything that mattered to me. I could make a list but I won’t. I have very little family anymore and only a few possessions to my name. My decision is my own and […]
Some of my friends been calling me selfish for not being open and how I didn’t even share about what’s been bothering me. What they don’t realize is, it started with sadness but after a while I can’t even explain what’s wrong with me. Even if I do tell them everything, I already know what’s their comeback is. Some of them will be telling stories about how they struggled more before and come out alright. Some of them giving their successful friend as an example. I mean, really? I seek for any listening ears to my problems, my woes, my concerned, my sadness, my suicidal thoughts, […]
The feelings started coming back again that sort of empty worthless feeling and I’m still trying to fight it even now my trying not to cry
I read my Diagnostic report today for the forst time ever and I was like someone literally put all my bad quality in a “nice” little box and I realised just how pointless I really am I use to think that I can use what I DO have to my advantage but what I do have isn’t going to help me be successful in a ordinary part time job and I isn’t going to make me progress onto being happy and […]
what defines life as successful?
So, I’m 40. I’m fairly successful, have a girlfriend and a house in a very beautiful part of the US. But I can’t stop crying, if I see a war movie or watch some SVU show I lose it (tho I’ve never experienced either). I think every day about how things would just be easier if I wasn’t here.
I’ve been to doctors, but I largely medicate myself with xanax and tequila.
What the f**k should I do? I want to stop thinking about dying; yet I think about it every day.
I feel like a whiney bastard, but I don’t know how to fix myself.
What would you […]
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