i’m seventeen, my mom and dad are the only reason i wouldnt want to die, i would like them to understand i need to die, cos i’m no good, i dnt get good grades, i’m not nice to most people, i mean i dont know how to fake smiles, i cant make many friends and i havent learnt not to care about that, but i love my mom and i wouldnt her to feel sad, i wish they didnt love me, that way i’d be free to do what i know i should, if i died it would be one life’s pollution less, not much, […]
Tag:
Suicide
I became actively suicidal and very BPD symptomatic this last year. I’ve never really dealt with any of the b.s. from my past and it all seemed to come crashing down around me last May.
I don’t know there was any one thing that caused me to break, so much as it was just one thing building on top of another. Â Now I have an issue with keeping my head above water. Â I’ve managed not to cut since March, but the suicidal thoughts still come. Â
It’s bizzare that I have become this person. Someone who doesn’t think much of herself, does not value life, is very […]
i sit at school in the computer lab and all i can think to do i look up things on suicide. I always find pictures and stories and more and more ideas just go through my brain. Im so sick of my life and i want to be dead. I cant do anything right, i have no friends, my parents hate me , and i have no future. I think tonights the night. i just want to get it over with. i can’t wait to get home and finish it once and for all!
         Everything hurts. The secrets I can’t tell anyone, and no one cares at all. Who do I turn to? How do I say the words to someone, someone I trust, that is going to make them understand? Who would I tell? Who can I trust? How do I get even one minute with them only three days before school is out? I’m going to die this summer. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t stand my life anymore, my mind… I have secrets that are killing me, literally. I’m going to die because I can’t take knowing the things I know. And even […]
So, what happened… Thursday night, I downed a bottle of medicine, because someone three fries short of a happy meal wrote on a website that “liquid is absorbed faster than pills.†So I thought… I die faster, and I fall asleep before I suffer. So much for that idea…
Obviously, my plan didn’t work. I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything, though. I downed it, and my heart was pounding, to the point that I just knew I was going to die. So I laid down in bed, pulled the covers over my head, turned on Relient K, and tried to go to […]
I just wrote a post on how my life sucks right now and I managed to lose that by pushing the wrong button. I so suck. Life sucks. So whats the use in living this way. To me, suicide is peace and I need peace.
MY STORY
By Kelli Pedrick-Karlton
Written in 2009, a little over a year after my Dads suicide…
Late one January morning in 2008, I fell asleep on the sofa, something I rarely did and haven’t done since. The kids were all over me and the house as I slept, but I managed to get a good nap in. I was awaken to my house phone ringing, then my cell phone ringing, again the house, again the cell. I thought it was my younger sister wanting me to cut my nephews hair. I […]
he started at 13
it got worse every year
i guess it was an escape from harsh reality
Â
she loved him with all her heart
she wasnt aware of his problem
she really cared
he didnt know how much
Â
he was 17
she got a phone call
he was going to jail
she finally saw
the intensity of his problem
Â
they didnt see each other for 6 months
she started to care a little less
they wrote
and called
but she was slipping away
slowly going downhill
he didnt know
that he was the source of her problems
Â
he came home
she was happy
he had changed
she was glad
he lied
she found out when they took him away
he didnt know how much it hurt her
to see him taken […]
Huh, so I’m new to this whole website. I hope I put this in the right category, and didn’t miss anything vital.
(DISCLAIMER: I don’t know how to use paragraphs effectively!)
Anyway. Over the years I have read a lot of posts, heard a lot of arguments against suicide. Its been roughly 8 years since I seriously became suicidal. It started with the sadness, the depression. I felt bad about myself and my lot in life. The first three years was spent convincing myself that its okay. Now, I can accept death by my own doing.
I’m not really sad anymore. I’m pretty neutral. Which, I think, is […]
Hello to all readers,
I am an aussie uni student and am researching the topic of suicide for a presentation tomorrow. I have read many of the posts submited to try and gain some insight into the topic and could’nt help but feel so deeply saddened by what I’ve come across. Saddened mainly because many of the people that have submitted posts appear to all have one thing in common. That is that they seem to feel that they are less worthy of life and happiness than others. Happiness is not designed to be complicated and illusive. Everyone is entitled to be here, that is why you are here in the […]
Since I keep coming back here, I have to throw in my cent and half. I’ve noticed a couple of things, before I go into my horrible depths of self-pity… First, I thought I was the only one who wrote with proper grammar. Gosh, does it sound horrible that I would notice such a thing when I’m low enough to even be on this website? But honestly, I’ve barely known what people were talking about when I’ve read other forums on random things. Please, any grammar dorks on here, go to yahoo! answers with a red pen and you’ll come back satisfied. But I can understand […]
Turn that frown upside down 🙂
Life is soooooooooo worth living and people should try their best to hold their own! Anyone who can’t is a bit ridiculous in my book so cheer the fuck up and get on with your lives damn it!!!
Seriously, no one -no matter how crap their lives are – should consider suicide unless suffering from a terminal illness and in serious pain, otherwise just think, you could have a much worse life. Walk down the street and you’ll pass hundreds of people with hundreds of tons of shit they’re all pulling so don’t think your all alone in your pessimistic world!!!
Peace out fuckers
No one is going to read this. I don’t know why I came back here to this website. I figured I never would after I found it the first time, but here I go again… This is exactly like when I found out I was pregnant, to a T; I was going to end my life, but then, an opportunity presented itself. I saw what might be a reason to live. Judging by before, assuming that the past paints a pretty good portrait of the future, I’ll be worse off than before. If I had gone through with everything before, I wouldn’t be hurting this way […]
It’s been almost three months since I almost suceeded killing myself. I had everything planned, right down to the bottom line. I had called to say goodbye to my mother and grandparents. They had no clue what was actually going on. They figured I was just saying goodnight like I do everynight. I was going to take the entire bottle of serious pain killers I had. I still had a small bit of doubt and I tried to cling to it. The pain became too real for me. And it grew steadily worse. I started cleaning my room up. Organizing everything. In my own sick […]
Put yourself in my shoes and see what you would do.. in all honestly. I’ll take your opinions into account and within 20 days I’ll either be still alive or dead.
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Ok.. My name is Ollie and the only thing good in my life is my beloved grandma. she lives out in the country with 16 dogs and kennels she has alot of land and we love each other so much. I go out once a week on a saturday when i’m not at school (i’m 13) and occasionaly dont go becuase shes showing but if its local i go with her. The bad things.. I’m […]
In June of 2008, I was a stoner, and an alcoholic. I tried comiting suicide by taking at least a full bottle of pain killers. because my mom grounded me. I wrote about it in my journal of course. I believe my words were:
“I wish my mom would understand what im going though, i dont know if i really want to die, i just wanns scare her”
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i fell asleep, then woke up with this incredibly uncomfortable feeling. I was burning, like my blood felt weird. and i was getting hives everywhere. my mom came home. I told her i ate bad food and felt a little sick. […]
I have been depressed for almost 2 years now. I told my aunt that I was depressed about 1 year ago. The reason why I’m depressed will take me to long to explain, so if your wondering why, check the post that says: “Wishing, Waiting, Dieing”. Anyway, she took me to see a consular a couple of days after I told her how I felt. At that first meeting I was told that if I wasn’t better within the next month, I would be put on a depression pill. A month goes by, nothing. Another month goes by, nothing. I start to let the pain […]
It’s been 6 years of an undiagnosed, untreated progressive depression.
The Stages:
Stage one just started with deep thinking. What we all go through, what is life worth? who loves me? what would the world be like if i’m dead, etc.
Stage two became mind over matter. This is the point beyond sadness. Cutting never hurt, it was just a way to wake up into reality again, to start feeling again, even it was just sadness.
Stage three was my addiction. I became addicted to cutting as it would relieve me of the emptiness. Cutting eventually stopped working (it works like pain killers, my body developed a tolerance), […]
Took about 20 iron pills around 11:00pm yesterday from all the crap my parents put me through. I thought I would die in my sleep. Until I found out today I will die a slow death when I woke up today and researched it . I’m transitioning from stage one to 2 soon. It would take me about 3 days to die give or take if I’m not in a coma. Well it could take a week that I could die from an overdose. I told my mom after I woke up. She made me puke up everything several times after drinking loads of water. Though that […]
I hate school like i can honestly say i do except for my math teacher she is amazing. I havent been going and my mom gets pissed at me for not going but she doesnt understand that i feel like one of the “out crowd” kids cause i am over weight and ive never actually got called fat well i have but its like in one of those “funny” ways well they think its funny and i just put a smile on my face and act like its nothing but it hurts really bad. Ive told my mom but she thinks its all bull […]