Ive been suicidal for a while. Absolutely no one knows.And i want to keep it that way so that if i actually go through with i t, no one will stop me this time. Ive attempted it once before, i drank a cup of bleach and had been unconscious for awhile until my mom found me. I am beginning to get those urges again. I had been clean of cutting for about a month until tonight. I think i might try suicide again.. but use a rope.. so its quite, and once i do it, no one can save me. Any other quick ideas?
Tag:
Suicide
I’m just done. I really don’t know how to cope with anything anymore. My mom has been in a bad mood for the past week, because she is very stressed about christmas shopping. And of course whenever she’s angry, who does she take her anger out on? Her family. So her and my older brother were fighting about were the clicker was, and my mom got really angry. She was calling him a bastard, lazy ass etc. And my brother just said “Can you stop being a dick to me”, which he should never had said. She starts saying how terrible we all are then […]
I’m completely lost…Now I’m afraid of death and I hate it!I really need help!
by ryuunosuke
written by ryuunosuke
I’m lost right now…I have no idea what I should do because my life is very fucked up so I hope posting this would possibly help.
Please read till the end…
I’m a 15 years old boy and I live in Romania at the moment.I’ve always had big problems with socialization and with society itself and,well…with almost everything around me! I simply dislike most (if not all) people that I know because I always see the worse in them (and they generally show me that I’m right),I hate society because of various reasons (mostly because society never accepted me),I dislike my family,my colleagues etc.
At my highschool (a […]
I have no more tolerance for the suicidal. Suicide is for cowards. It is for those who don’t want to take the hard path of confronting their fears. It is the combination of selfish interests and narcissistic self pity. It is the belief that you cannot possibly make the world a better place without feeling good. It is the dirty secret festered in incognito tabs on our devices and in private looming thoughts and plans. It is lazy and presumptuous- it expects love and attention without making the effort to dish it out to others in need. It is a liar that goads you affectionately […]
I can’t deal with being fucking bullied anymore. I’m still being called an idiot, a *****, a sociopath, and an attention seeker in person and online. I’ve gotten more threats, such as being pushed down stairs AGAIN and getting the shit kicked out of me. Meanwhile I don’t talk or interact with these people whatsoever. Seriously I cannot get away from this bullshit no matter what I do. The worst part is I can’t do shit about it because nobody fucking cares anymore. This is why I should just keep all of my emotions bottled up because whenever I share them I end up being […]
Reasons to ‘opt out’ : no one wants me, no one needs me, I have no purpose, I am hated by my family, every father figure I’ve ever had knew I have to be erased, I’ll never belong anywhere, No one will miss me, I don’t deserve to be called nor classified as human, I don’t deserve to exist, and nothing I do is ever good enough.
Reasons to ‘carry on’ : foolish hope that my poems might get noticed(HIGHLY UNLIKELY!!!) and fear that my 175 poems might get stolen(and that no one will care)
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I should just do the world a favor already and […]
Life is not fair / unfair. there is always winners & losers. I’m a loser, so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
by niki
written by niki
Life is not fair.
Life is unfair.
there is always winners & losers.
there will always be winner & loser.
so why can’t I / losers just commit suicide?
rather than they keep living chasing & fixing all their way too many losses, which is probably too late anyway too.
and usually losers can’t win / can never win against winners anyway .. even the “start” is already too late!!
This is the harsh truth / fact / reality .
Reality / Real life / Real world is very LIMITING / LIMITED in what we can & can’t do !
We are limited by money […]
A psychologist gave me a booklet for ‘the bereaved’ to inform me on what I would feel in the coming weeks/months/years. Seeing as every time I start to read the shitty booklet I bawl my eyes out, I’ve decided to write about what I am feeling and hope to feel in the coming weeks/months/years. I hope that in writing this, others who may find themselves in a similar disastrous situation can get some sort of comfort in knowing that shit luck affects a lot of people.
First of all, my boyfriend committed suicide. We were at my house arguing, it was an ongoing insecurity fight that […]
Imagination better than reality? Why Imagination is better than reality? Why is Imagination better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Imagination is better than reality?
Why is Imagination better than reality?
Why is fantasy better than reality? Why fantasy is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Interstellar, etc etc, they are much more interesting, full of POSSIBILITIES & varieties / variations, and better than reality / BORING reality […]
Really good movie, very intense. You can watch the whole movie online. Seriously, please don’t watch it if your easily triggered by self destructive tendencies like self harming or are currently feeling suicidal. Also, I really hope you see the movies true message and that it might help you realize that suicide is not the answer.
I think if I were to kill myself people would just expect it from me now. It’s just so odd having a bunch of people you considered best friends for years only see you as a friend if anything, and it really feels forced and you can tell and it makes your heart beat fast and your hands shake when you think about it too much, that as soon as you leave you will be replaced. Maybe I was always meant to be lonely. Maybe it was always meant to be like this.
Today has been terrible. I got off work, did a few things, then came home. I sat on my bed, stared at my bottle of pills. I craved to take all of them so bad. Although, I live with my best friend and her parents. I couldn’t do that to them.. Have them come home and see me dead. My parents though.. I wouldn’t give a shit if it hurt them. I would love to stand there after I died and watch them find me. I’m sitting here, watching American Horror Story trying to get it off my mind. I have never been so close to suicide.. I […]
Your voice was the only thing that could calm me down. When I was on the bathroom floor with a bottle of pills and a cold blade in my hand, you were there. You called me and just hearing your voice made me relax and breath. You changed me but you left. I have no idea who i am anymore or what my purpose is. Im lost without you by my side. I cry everyday at the thought that i wont be hearing your voice before i fall asleep. I wont be hearing your voice when i wake up. I wont be getting any sweet […]
What I thought was going to be a great Thanksgiving turned into a nightmare. My mom once again had one of her huge outbursts and just had to make everyone upset. It started out as a fight between her and my dad, they were screaming and my mom threatened divorce, and then she was fighting with my grandma. She was getting into her face calling her names and screaming. I would not allow her to treat my grandmother like that. I had to tell her to stop. Then she was following me around the house screaming for me to give her my phone. She kept […]
Whenever someone is suicidal, or self harms, the question people most commonly ask is “Why?” The question they should really be asking is “Why not?”
Everyone else in the world–normal people, those who can function on a daily basis–has a reason why not (even if they don’t realize it.) They have friends, a career, art, music, something that makes their lives good enough to keep going. I don’t. I never have. The last time I attempted was almost three years ago. Since then I’ve been searching for a reason “Why not?” but I can’t find it.
I’ve been thinking about trying again. This Friday I have an […]
This time when I cut, I regressed to cutting my left shoulder, as I was wont to do years ago. I slit superficial lines between the iron cross, making the black ink of the tattoo glisten prettily. I wish I had taken that razor and slit my goddamn throat. But I am a gutless *****, too afraid of what could happen to me if I do it. So there are 14 lines, some longer than others, some deeper than others. All easily hidden by my shirt sleeve.
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU BLAME ME FOR WHAT HAPPENED??!! The fall wasn’t my fault. “You’ve got to hold on […]
That hell that’s been my head these past 26 years has gotten the best of me.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD 3 years ago and even though i thought learning about it would help me, i’m still the
same fucking mess, still failing at everything and the worst is i have learned i can’t do SHIT about it.
And I am tired of this.
I’ve had enough of the stuggle
I’ve had enough of feeling stupid and ridiculed by people i call my friends
Enough of this emotional rollercoaster which has crashed years ago on depression mode
Enough of believing i’m surrounded by caring people until […]
Apparently, I am so easily triggered to become depressed about my appearance by seeing pictures of attractive girls.
It’s probably stupid to you, I know, weird
It makes me so upset about myself…..I already hate myself. I don’t need to self harm; there is no positive usage to self harm, but I do it anyway…I feel like I deserve it though…for not being pretty enough, not smart enough, not good enough to live…I’m just a waste of space.
I would kill myself right now, but the fear of dying circles around me, mocking me and laughing at my tragedy.
My whole life has been a living heel since I […]
I feel like I need to share my whole story with someone and this forum seems very welcoming. So, hello everyone! Name is Sam, I am a 23 year old from south west UK working as a PA.
I am 8 weeks into treatment for Depression however I am not sure how effective the medicine is as I still feel like I want and need to die.
I first suffered from depression aged 13, I had no friends at school, my dad had severe ME and was signed off work. My mum was under massive pressure to care for my dad and work full time to provide […]
Well this is kinda weird being back here after 2 years.. I can say that things do get better if you just wait it out but thats not really the reason ive returned (if ya catch my drift). Things DO get better with time but things can also get so much worse, hence why im back. For me, well, things were great.. then everything went to shit all at the same time. How much worse, you ask? Well:
I’m a female-to-male transgendered senior in high school
I get bullied in school because i decided to come out to people i supposedly “trust”
My mom is moving 400 miles […]