having these strange “visions” popping up in my head. i see myself floating face down in the river. i see myself with a gun shot wound. i see myself at my funeral. all of these images are just coming in it seems at random. i am not consciously thinking about suicide. but apparently some part of me is. the interesting part is that i am not afraid of these thoughts. i am not upset by them. they are just there. potential outcomes. seems odd that these thoughts have become mundane almost. nothing new under the sun. so what, who cares? maybe i am just becoming […]
Tag:
Suicide
he wakes up after an hour of sleep to the screams of something else he didnt do he cant sleep at night because memories are so fresh in his mind of a life destroyed by abandonment and drugs but the drugs are a crutch now without them you feel worse more hopeless then before and it seems like suicide is a viable option..maybe it is..everyone you talk to thinks you want attention because they are to blind or to stupid to see the pain really felt..he feels lost in the world and he has given up hope
She woke up today feeling happy till she heard the screeching of her mothers voice. She had overslept. The kids were not ready for school and she did not have breakfast ready. She was so tired from the night before from having to meet two men.
She slowly got out of bed afraid of what her mother would do when she saw her. She raced quickly getting the small children up and on the bus. As they left she slipped the money onto the piano for her mother, knowing she was expecting it. She found it not quite fair that she had to sneak out of the house […]
I am suicidal. Because I’m extremely depressed. I’ve been depressed for most of my life. I’ve been on anti-depressants for four years. I’ve gone to therapy many many times. I’ve given up on life, and I want to die. But that’s not going to happen. I realized that I’m not going to die unless of old age or if I get really sick. I just left college, a really good college because of my depression. and YES I was smoking weed 24/7 and I was dependent on weed, but I am not addicted. I was just self-medicating. So once I left college in January I […]
I am new here. I attempted suicide about 3 weeks ago, twice in less than 24 hours. The first time I was found by my siblings who got into my house and the second time, I was found by the police. I ended up in the hospital unconscious for two days and spent a further day in a ward with old people, who were bed ridden. I was under constant observation, not even able to go to the toilet unattended. As a psychology student, it was one of the most degrading and humiliating experiences of my life. I felt so ashamed facing my family after […]
Friend called the cops on me after I told him I was ready to die.
After that dehumanizing experience, I want to die even more. I learned that if I should ever attempt suicide, just let them find the body. My life has been ostensibly good lately: got a dream job, making friends, accepted to universities, yet I can’t get over losing  him. I never will. I really don’t know what to do anymore.
Even with all of my personal growth and success, I’m still not good enough for him.
Will i get sick?
i’m in so much pain mentally.
can i tell you a secret? my best friend of 17 years raped and burned me with cigarettes while he was drunk. (you’re the first person i told) i have been cutting myself off and on since i was 9 because my cousin molested me until i was 12 and when i finally told them they said i was lying and i got slapped with being bipolar 2. i have one friend she is a complete ***** she doesn’t even care “it’s all about her” anyway. i am an introverted kind of person. i just turned 25 and i’m scared that […]
i’ve been sitting on the floor of my room for over an hour sobbing with my razors in front of me. i can’t take the pain anymore. i can’t take knowing how disappointing and how much of a failure i am. everything hurts and i just want it to end. i don’t want to have to stay here for anyone else but me. im so trapped and i can’t get rid of this feeling. i’m sick of pretending that i want to be alive
I think the thing I realize most about getting closer to killing myself is the isolation. I struggle with feeling like no one cares – or notices – when I talk about it. So, as I get closer I stop talking. No one seems to care – or notice – that either.
The reality of suicide is that you’re alone in it. You will go alone and you have to be able accept that. Whether others care or notice doesn’t matter. No one can or will save you. Until you accept that, you’ll stay. When you accept that, you won’t try, you’ll do. It’s simple, I […]
I am 17 in the evelenth grade, I have a 2.66gpa rigth now and after taking studying for the act… I got a 19…. I am not the smartest kids… In fact I come clost to down rigth dumb….I procrastinate aLot ….sleeping takes up Lot of time..but sleep is the only thing that keep me from thinking and crying…..but lately I can’t sleep I just cry and think all nigth… It’s making me dizzy in the Morring….
I find life to be joy less …. I am going to circles…. Friendship is pointless even for the few friends I do have… Even to my best friend… […]
How do you tell someone that they’re the reason? How do you explain to them that they need to stop, and think about the things they say to you before it’s too late?
I wouldn’t say I’m completely past the point of suicidal thoughts, I wish I were. But I’m definitely not past the point of looking for jobs in foreign countries and fantasizing about packing up everything and just vanishing.
Do loved ones even realize the effect they truly have on us? Do they understand anything about how our minds work?
I feel like I’ve told them a thousand times about how sad I […]
I stayed away from Collin for a day. He told me to call and sure enough I did. What happened? He let it go to voicemail, he was testing me to see if I was still there. Possibly sitting around for him when I was not.
I am slowly slipping away from the real world and wanting this all to be a fantasy. I want to be loved but you can never force someone to love you or that will push them farther away. Men like Collin just want to know that no matter what, someone will always be there to catch them when they fall, but when it is your […]
I recently have been looking at gore just to see what my corpse will look like if I decide to blow my brains out. Â It’s not exactly pretty and it makes it that much more real. Â The reality of suicide is pretty intense and final. Â What are your thoughts about gore and the finality of death?
It can always be worse, I mean I could not have legs or something. But the idea of outward problems that can easily be identified seems so much Better than what I suffer with. It’s those little inward things, that eat you out slowly, dying on the inside, dominated by things that shouldn’t own me. I’ve attempted suicide, I’ve drank too much took too many pills. I’ve hurt myself just to feel something, and speaking from experience it doesn’t work. Whatever’s on the other side has to be better than what’s going on for me over here. I can honestly say that I don’t have […]
Can you believe it? The only thing stopping me from suicide is the fear of the physical pain I will feel. I’m scared of jumping in front of a train, of using a knife, of jumping – all due to the unimaginable pain that I imagine will be felt.
I just want it to be painless.
I’ve already resolved to commit suicide – but I’m being held back  by the stupid fear of pain.
I have already resolved that I am not a viable member of the human race – I have failed. I am now mediocre. And this was always my worst fear – becoming mediocre and […]
How do I even begin to explain the way that I am feeling?
It’s a sense of emptiness;
A sense that you would care not to have.
I have no drive or motivation to do anything.
I’m sick of living the life that I have.
Sick of living in this body of mine.
I can’t seem to get out of this rut.
I can only wish that I were someone else.
Wish that I was happy, but doing that gets me nowhere.
I have no destination.
My future is unknown.
I just want to disappear.
I want to eliminate my life, but I’m scared of the unknown.
I just wish I had the desire to live and the […]
….I’m afraid to live. But I guess I am going to try. I tried to kill myself by overdose but it didn’t work and I had to spend some time in a mental place. To say the least, it didn’t do a thing. I am still depressed, and occasionally I still want to just stop living. The only reason I don’t kill myself is because I have people I love. I can’t hurt them. I am on different pills now, but I have issues staying asleep and have started having panic attacks. I want therepy but we can’t seem to set up a meeting. […]
Actually I don’t want to know why. I don’t want to know why I feel the way I do. I don’t want to understand my depression. I just want it all to be gone. Suicide, for me, is unrealistic. Only because I don’t have the guts and I’m just too afraid of the pain. I constantly tell this to myself because I know it’s true that I won’t kill myself. But I want to, I just can’t. I’m trying to stay in the present, and I’m trying to think about now and not about the future and not about the past. But the past and […]
The condition of one of my rooms is absolutely, horribly disgusting. There’s spilled soda soaked into the carpets, crumbs all over the floor, dirty laundry, and probably something like 30+ bottles of empty diet soda.
I guess the reason I am posting this is that I am ready to die but too depressed to go through the preparations. I am thinking about hiring someone to clean out my car, pack up my belongings, etc. because I want to have a rational, planned out suicide and will never make an impulsive decision to do so. But unfortunately, I am too tired to go  through with the cleaning and […]