You wake up in the morning and the first breath you take you can feel the sadness fill your lungs. You can feel yourself gasp for air as it completely consumes you. Leaving you just laying there praying you can make it one more day. One day without the thought, sadness, or confusion of why you belong on this earth. What is my purpose?
Tag:
thought
the bruises they fade, and the scars disappear. yet I’m stuck here hurt beyond disbelieve, looking for answers I can’t find within myself. the memories burn in the back of my mind and come creeping back any chance they get. the way her hands hit my face so effortlessly, or the way degrading words flew out of her mouth. I never felt so small, so afraid. I lay there helplessly on the ground, pleading for what seemed like my life, but not even that would stop her. then the next day would come and there would be flowers, or a heartfelt letter apologizing. I knew […]
Dreams better than reality? Why Dream is better than reality? Why is Dreams better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
Thinking about my teen years makes me really sad . When I was a little younger a lot of my friends were couple of years older then me, in their 20s. And I did a lot of drugs with them.. Too much lsd and psychedelics, cocaine, smoked a lot of weed, pills. yeah you get the point . I honestly started not to care as a teen and after I was off drugs I was always really sad . I didnt have really friends when I went through this stage . I remember a time when I took a Xanax and two tabs of acid and […]
I have Aspergers syndrome.
I am a girl. Its not that visible. I am supposed to be very high functioning. The more I realize my struggles and my differences in contrast to other people.
I am pretty much down.
I just cant navigate through relationships. I cant let go of people. I still love somebody whom I loved five years ago, who moved, who I dont see anymore…etc. I make people mad. I make fuss of things that arent important. For normal people. I have just ruined another relationship of mine, because I was too pushy, too needy. I just dont seem to do anything right. Even weird […]
Proof of life engraved on arm
and sin of living scarred into flesh.
Charm long cast aside;
yin long embraced!
Memories of you become nightmares
as the past becomes my drug.
The time for repairs has long past;
can’t be debugged!
The future I wanted
ended long before I met you.
Trickster with sins of life and virtues of despair;
can’t take back!
“One by one, the sins have become a validation of existence, a sign that I’m human! I’m not human, though… The glorified virtues have become my curse. My last remaining sin, the proof I’m still breathing even though it’s nothing more than a sigh…”
I’m wishing for the sun to burn it away,
to rise like […]
When I was a little kid I didn’t understand why people would be so sad and depressed, I didn’t understand any of this. I thought they just needed to tough up.
Now I am a 15 year old and all I want to do is disappear. I want to just leave and sethre all the relationships I have. I don’t want to die but I would die to disappear.
Last year when I was 14 I started getting severely depressed, but then I didn’t know what depression was. I just wanted to start running away and never turn back, I wanted to disappear so badly I would […]
I just turned on my social media, and saw all the stuff about Paris, and the tragic attacks that are still being resolved.
It really makes me wonder sometimes, why does life always take the life of those who want to live. I mean, I really do feel sorry for the victims and their families, but I can’t help but wonder why when this kind of stuff happens, why does it not seem to affect those who are already suffering and wallowing in death. It just seems that it would save everyone some pain. People like us from having to take the blame and the final […]
A so called ‘friend’ of mine found my blog. My blog where I have no one I know in real life on, and he called me out on it all. He called me out on things that werent what he thought, and told me to ‘stop posting about mental illnesses bc i dont have one’. Can we talk about how inconsiderate that is? Its worse now than when I last fell out with my friends and I dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to head downhill any further. I want help. Ive never said it before but I honestly want help bc […]
Hello all, this is my first post..and it just so happens that I am a horrible writer. But, here goes. I am 19 years of age. My birthday is a month away. I’m not even excited about it. The one thing that I looked forward to everyday was waking up to see the love of my life. But ever since last year, depression has had a toll on both of us…we have a beautiful 9 month old son. He is my everything. I just can’t imagine my life without his dad. Last year around Christmas, it was he who tried to commit suicide. […]
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How dare you choose liqour over me.!! How can you laugh and carry on while i cut and cry. Hundreds of miles away from home. No love there either. I find myself in a invisible hole my little suicidal hell hole. I never thought i would reach out to people i dont know but i need help somthing that a doctor or psychiatrist cant give me right now i need someone that understands how it feels to be blatantly fucked over by the ones you love. Just need advice to stay strong.
I think I will start posting everyday that my depression acts up.
Ive been depressed since I was 3 years old on and off. It’s really quite odd though to think of a depressed three year old. Lately I’ve been getting worse though. I thought I had been cured of my depression for a while because I hadn’t felt it there. I think the reason I’m feeling depressed is because I stopped taking my antidepressants for a few days…. I know, not a smart choice.
Im gonna see my therapist at one o’clock today.
I haven’t seriously thought of suicide. I’ve cut myself quite badly though. The wounds […]
I am really nervous about sharing my story as I dont want to say anything that will bother or upset anyone 🙁 but i will try my best to express myself in a way in which no one will be upset by.
I was born in Venezuela and i moved to the united states when i was 3, iam 17 and almost 18 now. (forgive me for not mentioning where in the USA i live)
I am really grateful to this country because it has given me great opportunity where as in Venezuela I would most likely not amount to much (not that i will ever amount […]
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Sometimes it is hard to let go. I was in this dumb relationship once. I loved him so much that i could let go everything for him. We were doing great and people thought we looked cute together (now the idea of us being cute together sucks). This was that kind of relationship where there was no fighting but love was directly proportional to the passing days. But destiny is one big mother fucker! Very soon we weren’t doing great. He stopped talking to me and after a while even i did and very soon under some stupid circumstances we broke up (an initiative taken […]
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I can’t handle or control my emotions. My emotions fluctuate and change on a dime. Sometimes it’s stays that way for several hours or days, and other times it’s minute by minute.
I’ve been feeling really suicidal lately, and I’ve almost broke down several times at work. And as a guy, the thought of showing my emotions (crying etc) in front of other men is never a good thing. So I constantly have to regain my composure. I go from wanting to just cry, to being angry, to being filled with rage. And when I’m filled with rage, it’s explosive anger. I cussed out a man […]