Im done. Im so ready to kill myself. I just want to go on a hike with my good friend 9mm and never return. My desire to die is stronger than my desire to live. Im not sure how I survived so long, maybe it was because Im living for others, but how long can that last? Eventually I have to to be selfish right? Im tired of being suicidal for the past 8 years, I don’t think it will ever get better.
Tag:
Tired
So today I got my first session of EMDR therapy (finally, after 2 years waiting and nagging for it). I get EMDR, because I have a trauma. It was really tiresome, and I cried like almost the whole session. It was really confrontational, because I had to tell about the incident that occupies me the most. But I’ve never told anyone about it, so that was really tough for me. Then I had to keep in mind the part of that incident which scares me the most, and explaining that. After that I had to focus on that and follow a LED-light that went from […]
I guess im just Tired
Tired of being bitched about by my parents.
Tired of being laughed at.
Tired of being made fun of.
Tired of feeling ugly.
Tired of being ignored.
Tired of feeling unloved.
Tired of no one caring.
Tired of pretending to be happy.
Tired of being Tired.
Since when did life become working 5 or 6 days a week. Sitting in traffic an hour each way mind you. Despite living less than 15 minutes away from work, it takes a miracle to get home in under an hour most days. All that just to barely make a descent income, to support myself, pay bills, and whatever is left that the government doesn’t take from me I save some and spend the rest on gas and groceries. It’s like an endless cycle. There’s no denying I’m depressed and in need of serious help. And I’m not talking about the help that comes in […]
I did promise I wouldn’t abandon this place. I don’t know why I care so much about the people I’ve never met behind the stories I’ll never really know. I guess I just feel for you and your darkness. I wish I could take it because it seems so wasteful.
I am still very tired. Since my last post I’ve cycled through a few medications with no effect. I’ve found that I am not getting real sleep as I have some sort of growth in my head. I haven’t told my family I am on the verge of passing out at least 5 times a day […]
Long story short.
My wife left me. lost all my possessions ,car , dogs etc. ended up going to jail after a argument with father in law. now on probation living on a couch stuck with 9000.00 in fines etc. jobless can’t find a job now that I’m a felon. Facing a violation for not paying cause I have no money. I was on meds for severe depression but have none now. I’ve tried once to end it already while I was locked up. I’m just tired why keep going it just gets worse. I don’t even remember what its like to be happy.
Edit
We were married […]
I’m so tired, i cant take it anymore, i thought i was getting better even the thoughts had left my head, then they just came crashing back and now it’s just like it was before. I cant tell my family, they thought i was getting better how can i tell them it was just an act. that i still feel the crushing loneliness, the hatred inside. How do i survive? I don’t have anyone, nobody seems to care  and the ones i thought did care, just turn their backs on me. I just want someone to look at me and tell im not alone. But […]
I have been in a battle with myself for about 2 years. Ever since I was 9 my family has told me that I need to lose weight because im fat. Yeah a 9 year old should lose weight. I’m actually not fat at all but I’m still in a battle to lose weight. i strain myself to work out. I know what you’re thinking just find someone to talk to. Well guess what I don’t have anyone. My mom never listens to me when I try to talk to her about my day or something she completely tunes me out. She has some “mental […]
I’m tired of people lying
I’m tired of people hurting me
I’m tired of getting caught in this mess
I’m tired of crying
I’m tired of being broken
I’m tired of people breaking me
I’m tired of people saying hurtful things
I’m tired of living
I´m 16,diagnosed with major depression,been depressed and suicidal for over a year now,I recently got out of a mental hospital,I was put there for suicide risk,it was one hell for me,I hated every single second I spent there,I were there for a little over 3 months,every second of it I spent faking my smile and telling lies about my mood and suicide thoughts, just to get out of there,it was really hard for me,I never want to go there anymore. So now that i´m finally out of the mental hospital,I have to keep this fake smile on my face constantly and act like everything is […]
I’m so tired. To tired even for a proper cry for help. Or maybe i don’t care. I don’t know.
I’m just tired of living in sadness I wish it would all just end..
Ever been woken at 3 am? Remember being sooo tired that you can hardly move?
Now imagine you’re cold but too tired to get up to get an extra blanket.
Or maybe you have to go to the bathroom but you’re too tired.
Have you ever fallen asleep in an uncomfortable spot, e.g., your car, the living room floor, etc. but you’re too tired to get up?
That’s how I feel when I’m at my lowest point of depression & when I have my strongest desire to leave.
I may want to “get up” but I cannot. I’m just “too tired”. The thought of getting showered, […]
I’m tired of it all. Tired of everything. im sickand tired of hoping, of trying, of fighting foranything anymore. I don’t see the point. I’mtired of people saying things get better, sayingthat xyz will happen just be patient. I’m tired of people not understanding-of just saying I’m overreacting to little things. I’m tired of notfitting in, I’m tired of hating myself, I’m tired ofhating people, I’m tired of hating life. I’m tired of everything in life being sugar coated, I’m tired of the lies, I’m tired of false hopes. I don’t want to do it anymore. im just so tired and done with everything. i don’t want to think anymore. i don’t want to be me, i dont want tolive life, i dont want to be in this life or this world. im tired of just trying to keep myself from reaching an actual point where im ready to follow through with suicide.
i dont want to be. i just want it all to stop. idon’t want to deal. i wish i could just putmyself in a self-induced coma. i dont want tobe stuck alone anymore in this body with mythoughts trapped in this world. i cant do itanymore…i dont even know why im not throughouly suicidal right now. i can’t do it anymore….i don’t want to do it. i don’t want to try or pretend to be okay for some period of time just to end up right back here again. i just deceive myself and latch on to false hopes and stupid fantasies to get by…im done
I am 42, married with a smart and beautiful 3 year old son. I have lots of people who love me and would suffer if I was gone.
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse who last year finally reported the abuser who was arrested and plead guilty to two counts of indecent assault. He was then released with a firm talking to by the judge and nothing else.
I have a job I love that pays me well and i go to a support group once a week and see a social worker as well to help cope. I take a prescription of Wellbutrin and […]
Hey.
This is my first entry. I’ve never really been good with describing my pain or how I feel. So, bare with me, okay? I live in Montreal, Canada. My parents aren’t married and they have four kids, myself included. This has a lot to do in my life so it’s important that you note this.
I began to feel depressed when I was ten. My older sister, Veronica, was the main reason to my bullying. She always pushed me around and made me feel like shit. You might say that everyone feels like this at one point, right? Possibly. But what made this worst was that […]
Every thing is getting on top of me. I have been “clinically depressed” since i was 15 but these days I wonder if i have other things going on. I just make mistake after mistake and its made my life very hard. I then feel bad for thinking my life is hard when i am no doubt luckier than billions of people and animals in the world. My life is hard in terms of feelings of worthlessness, lonliness, panic, self hatred and guilt. I loath myself and then even more for being so inward facing and seemingly selfish. I am very manipulative.
I have made so […]
I’m physically and mentally tired of having to deal with everything. My foster parents hate the living day lights out of me and i’m constantly reminded by them about how useless i am. I’m told that i’m dumber than a brick everyday of my life and how i cannot achieve anything and will probably not ever be able to make any one proud. I try so hard to help people and make people proud of me but it’s not working. I’ve been bullied ever since 2nd grade and i’m in the 10th now and the hate is still going strong. yaaaaaaay…Â I’m not looking […]
I see absolutely no point of being around.I just keep forgetting that and end up backing out of suicide before its to late.I cant keep doing that.Im not meant to be was never meant to be.My oldest sister will be leaving soon off to college i will never hear or see her again.I cant deal with that.
If i continue to live i will be homeless or institutionalized.My best friend says shell take care of me but she cant take care of herself let alone can i.I dont know how to survive this world.I cant survive this world.Ive thought of seeing if i can hang […]
I’m so tired, it feels like I can fall apart every moment. I just.. ugh. But the weird thing is: I don’t want to commit suicide. Death is one of my biggest fears. I just want to be happy. I just started high school and I was like: I’m really gonna miss my old class, but I’m sure I’m gonna make new friends. My best friend came in the same class as me (let’s call her A), so I was really happy I wasn’t ‘alone’ because I’ve always been a shy girl. She made friends, I didn’t. I was happy for her, I can’t blame […]