In this moment i wish i could die. So all the pain and memories of pain could disappear. So id never feel all the anger and hatred and my needless existence could disappear. Im sick of seeing triggers everywhere. Im sick of society at large. Im sick of having little self worth. Im sick of being different. Honestly im only still here because i failed at suicide hundreds of times. Im alone and uneccesary. But that said im not going to attempt. Im going to get up and go to the gym and continue to do the best i can do. There is a part […]
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to die
I had a conversation today that inspired this post.
Imagine the sick people who need organs to survive, they WANT to survive, they WANT to LIVE. If they had a method, I mean doctors, to kill patients without damaging the needed body parts or organs, they could give them to the sick, they could give them their desired LIFE. Instead of this they let people die from hanging, ODing etc. MISERABLY and MEANINGLESSLY. I know that there are certain states of mind when some can’t tell the difference between reality and their own imagination, but then leave those out of this chance. There are a shitload […]
I’m tired. Exhausted. My body wants to curl up into a fetal position and sleep for the next 2000 years.
Maybe life is better in 4016.
I you see, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to put my family through such sorrow and grieving. I love them all too much to chose to leave in sudden death. I don’t want to leave my mother wondering what she could have done better, or if she had said the right thing. I couldn’t do that to her, she doesn’t deserve that.
But I want to leave. I never used to be all that religious, but recently something has changed for […]
Why are we so obsessed with the preservation of life? I mean, we’re all going to die anyway.
A while back I was confronted by a goon at night who wanted to forcefully make off with some of my possessions. He walked up to me like, ” Hand over that bag if you don’t wanna die, do you really want to die??”
For a moment I was like, damn, how did this guy read my mind?? Should I just say yes??
What would you do in such a scenario??
Im 22 years .Ive been with a girl for 3 years i gave her my all. I fucked up talked to someone . I never cheated just talked. She left me a month ago. she left school and left me with all the and the 2 cats. Today i lost my job. So i cant pay rent. Im behind 2 months on cable and dte. I cant do it anymore Im not strong enough anymore. Im miserable. I tried to OD on tylenol. That didnt work. Im depressed. Ive never n so I my life. Ive slit my wrist, is my first time it it […]
but i will be forced to anyway, because i simply don’t have the means to end it in a way that won’t fail spectacularly.
here’s the truth; i’m ugly, and i’m going to die alone. nobody’s ever going to love me the way i need to be loved. i tried loving myself but i just couldn’t. i can’t make peace with something i hate so much.
i look in the mirror and i see a monster, not a 19-year-old girl. i’m so grotesque.
so i figure, if i’m going to die alone and unloved anyway, why not make it happen sooner rather than endure the pain […]
I wounder everyday, for what reason have I been put on this planet, why was I born – what difference am I making to this shitty world? The struggle for everyday survival, the 9-5 deadbeat job and the same constant fucking routine; that we call everyday life.
I can’t move on, there’s nothing to look forward to anymore, nothing to smile, care, love and be happy about; Just pain, misery loneliness. I walk down the street, see happy people all around me, couples holding hand – kissing, children playing etc. The people who helped destroy my relationship, the ones who I once […]
I shouldn’t tell myself this but life reminds me of what i am. Idk why i post here still. Maybe because i don’t have a sure method to die. I wish i wasnt born and im old and meaningless and i keep getting reminded of how horrid my life has been my life is and will be. Im too incompetent to continually do anything about it. I hate being a fuckup. I hope i have a heart attack soon. I’ve been rejected abandoned neglected. I have no support system or meaningful relationships i do want to die. I am immobile, agoraphobic, perpetually suicidal. No one […]
Ive neen hopelessly suicidal my entire life. I’ll never make anything of myself i tried. Im just waiting for deaths sweet embrace to end my suffering. I hate this shit. I hate tv, back pain, all I do is eat and im emotionally fucked up all the time.
But I don’t want to die? I’m so tired of feeling as depressed as I do. None of the drugs I’ve been prescribed have worked for me. Nothing makes me happy anymore. My friendships are ending one by one, and I can’t even seem to care about that anymore. I can’t…
So yeah I am here, quite a things have happened, so take a seat and don’t expect this to be something too grim.
So I fought my depression, and finally won, I guess, I feel more neutral or rather “passive happy” now…Maybe with an image things would clear up: I feel like a lone wolf in his cave having food and water.
I am happy with what I have here, always water and something to eat, it is warm, and nobody is here to get on my nerves.
But this is what I have fought for in school, to never go back there.
And I broke my phone, which […]
Is it bad that I’m not sad ? She wants to die and I hope she can soon . She is handicap so she only sits on her bed all day . And the fact that she hid her breast cancer until now shows she wants to die . Of course I would be sad if she died , but she would be in peace . Her husband and all her friends are dead so she doesn’t have much left .
I know she’s annoyed to be in the hospital . I’d rather her be home . But the breast cancer is so bad … […]
January 6th, i attemped suicide.
i took lots of medicines and drunk alcohole.
but i couldnt die… my head was just dizzy and i couldnt eat anything for few days. i did not tell anyone about this. and i wont tell anyone. but now i think i still want to die. i want to end my life.
this world sucks…
i really hate myself and no one cares about me . my family my husband they dont care about me … all they care and want is money ..
i have been trusting that one day i can have someone who loves and cares .
I’m sick of feeling this way. I’m drained. I’m physically drained. Tired. I’m sick of being trapped. I’m sick of being stuck like this.
I have been wanting to die more than anything in the past few days. I know I can’t. I know I shouldn’t. But I want to. I want to so bad. I want to die. I really, really want to die. I’ve never wanted to die so much in my life.
My head is heavy. Even my body is a huge weight. I still can’t get out of bed.
I’ve been cutting like crazy. I’m running out of room on my left thigh. I […]
From cutting to smoking weed like I’m fucking Lucky Dube. Yep. At least the pain is better. That’s all I have to say.
I still want to die.
Yes. Today will go down as one of the shittiest days I’ve ever had to go through. Never has my depression been so crippling. I feel physically ill. Like I want to throw up. I have one hell of a headache. I can barely get out of bed. My muscles are weak. I am shaking.
Maybe it’s partly because I haven’t been sleeping lately. But, I’m terrified of sleeping. I’m tired of the nightmares.
I am so passively suicidal today, it’s a good thing I have no strength to do anything… But type, I guess. Letting it out this way helps.
I just cut. After a month or […]
This has got to be the shittiest day of my life. I’m at that point. That point. The point that scares the shit out of me and yet excites me at the fucking time. The point where I could just die right now and I wouldn’t give a fucking shit.
Please, someone just kill me now. I can’t stand this shit anymore.
I’m sitting on my bedroom floor. I’m bleeding out. I can hear people talking in the living room. I’m not calling out for help. I’ll just listening to music and drift off.
I hate my head. It keeps torturing me. Why do I have to go […]
I just had a terrifying dream. These demons were always around me and watching me and I could see them whenever I looked into the mirror. Then one of them came for me. I thought they were gone but I looked into the mirror to see myself and she was behind me then looked at me and came for me . She poured this stuff in my mouth and duct taped my mouth and proceeded to put a bag on my head. I think I was about to die then I woke up.
I was scared as fuck when I woke up. It felt real. […]
Oh god i want to die. Everything just hurts so much. I cant take it anymore