I tell you I hate you every time I feel like saying I love you. I never want to seem crazy but I feel crazy crazy that once again I have failed feeling too much over a course of months. My father said love was a myth for the fools. How mythical of me to fall in love with a fool. Poor little fool who can’t seem to love me. If only he had the ability to feel what I feel how I feel it we’d be able to prove daddy wrong. So instead I say the second strongest word I feel hate because I […]
Tag:
too much
Hi.
It’s been awhile. I see everyone interacting to get through the difficult days. I guess I would like to feel connected as well.
I am sick of my story and it doesn’t really matter. The end result is the pain I feel at this moment.
Too much free time is dangerous for me.
I truly am.
I’m sorry for being concerned.
I’m sorry for caring too much.
I’m sorry for being so attached to you.
I’m sorry for putting your happiness before my own.
I’m sorry.
I’ve been depressed for only three years now and I have been in therapy and in treatment for two years and a half. I have been hospitalized 5 times in the past 2 years. I’m only 18 and I have felt enough pain to last a lifetime. I have tried so hard to get better, and nothing has changed, and I’m not sure if I can keep trying. I just want everything to stop. I don’t know what to do. I failed a suicide attempt in February and I so badly want to do it and succeed this time…
Any idea about what to take or do to relax to not think too much? Like a special drink or something? I really need to know.
Please, pardon my language if it’s too much for you.
People see babies, and they often think. “awe, it’s adorable” (Or something of the sort.)
I see a baby, I think. “Wow, some guy put his penis, where pee comes out of, into a girls vagina, where pee comes out of, during sex, and he ejaculated inside of her, and a baby began forming, then after months of growing into a living being that baby then stretched open that females vagina 20 times bigger than it should ever be and came out covered in blood and amniotic fluids. That’s fucking disgusting.”
I’m at breaking point again. I fell off the rails big time 2 years ago after I was sexually assaulted twice by two different people in 3 months. It took me a while to get back on my feet. I have been to see psychologists and councillors all of which who have different diagnosis and long waiting lists. I thought I could do this by myself but I can’t, whenever I am reminded of either assault in any way I freak out. I’m scared all the time, I’m scared of boys, I shake all the time, I can’t do public transport, I’m just lost.
I’m 23 […]
How do I die peacefully. I was raped from 5-11 constantly my dad is abusive. Please let me go. Please. I need some way to die but not hurt or vomit or be in pain I’ve already suffered too much please help
If you want to attempt suicide you better be prepared for pain and/or failure. I have always thought if things go wrong and I feel really horrible I will be able to kill myself. Except that it’s not as easy as it seems. I had a chance today and it hurt too much. No matter how badly you may want to die the lizard part of your brain will do anything to survive. There is so much planning and research to do and even after all of that you will probably die a painful death or have to live with failure to try again another […]
I feel guilty hating my life like I do. I’m what most people would consider successful, but what I consider a complete and utter failure.
All I’ve ever wanted to be is a wife and mother, yet at almost 35, I’ve never even had a boyfriend. I’ve failed at what’s supposed to be the most natural thing of all, love. I have no one to talk to about this, because no one would understand. I think about killing myself most hours of the day, and no one I know would believe me if I told them that. I’ve become very good at faking my life, so […]
I try. I try to do everything. I try to keep you happy. I try to really hard to keep you from getting upset. I try to get everything done. I try to finish what I start. I try to make you happy.
I try to be a good mom. I try not to give too much advice or leeway, but it seems I just cant find the right balance.
I try to be there for you when you need someone. I try to make myself available to you for just about everything. I try to make sure your always comfortable. I try to keep […]
I use to be a funny girl who loves to live and enjoy everything in life and to try new things but due to a love relationship , every thing had changed … I tried to suicide but I didn’t die and I’m thinking to suicide again because I feel too much pressure on me and no one can understand me . I know this my effect my parents but I can’t stay like this dying every day. I am crying every day since 3 months in my room … but I smile in front of my friends and family because I don’t like […]
For the time being, I am here. Death scares me enough to make life seem worth enduring. But you can’t live like that, day to day. You can’t live purely to postpose the negative. The mind needs something positive to drive it.
So…happiness. Peace. Being truly present in the moment, without feeling the need for a way out. Feeling comfortable in your own skin. Feeling truly glad that you, and the world around you, exist.
It’s been a long time. I haven’t felt able to be myself around people or really enjoy their company since I was 10 (17 years). I haven’t felt good about the world, […]
I used to have faith of some kind (no specific religion; I considered myself to be Agnostic) but after having experienced life and seeing so many horrible things, I no longer believe in a “higher power”. The chaos of life and the fact that there is no control and ultimately no consequences for the vicious acts that humans carry out every day is terrifying. I often find myself cursing at God and then reminding myself that no one can hear me.
With the exception of going to work, I live my life in absolute isolation because I don’t trust anyone (twenty some odd years and I haven’t met one […]
“No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She’s in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can’t handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm and wants to give up her life”
When ever I hear this song this is the part when I start to cry…This pretty much perfectly describes my life and I’ve noticed it for years now. I seriously need help but I refuse to tell my parents about my depression, my mom already thinks she fucked up on raising us and I feel like telling her about it will only […]
Ah god I am stupid….it hurts so much ….
I figured out too late that I don’t want to die ._.
What am I doing in here and not going to go call 911? Easy I’m too much of a retard and coward who would rather die I guess than seek help ….man I’m stupid.
I swallowed twenty Tylenol pills and even though I tried taking myself out of it I still did it …. I’m so stupid god I’m stupid.
I’m so tired and I feel so icky and ugh….my head hurts….my stomach hurts too. I tried puking them out and yet again […]
Am I the only one who uses alcohol/pot to get through the day? I mean I know it’s not good in the long run, but in the moment it helps. I get to a point where I literally cannot bear the pain, it’s just too much, and I honestly feel that if I didn’t have to booze to wear me out and let me forget i would drive straight to the Golden Gate Bridge and jump. I feel like booze have saved my life a couple times this week, I just drink to the point where I don’t have the energy or motivation to hurt […]
You can see me down in that place where I try so hard to wave..my arms burdened by gravity holding them to my face.. so heavy and so hot..believe me or not it’s my fate. The next step I take means too much to take and so I’ve stood still waiting for my will again.
Repair these broken hands.. what is there left to grip? Repair this broken man for the sake of broken lips. Come apart to let you in and hold me down to fix.
Put me back the way I was and I’ll just fall apart again. Reconstruct this broken heart […]
Yeah well I’m gonna be the first and I’m going to alienate some people here, but we, in Australia, just lost a visionary in Gough Whitlam. Wow, what a mark he left on our land and our consciousness. He was a visionary and a reformist. To some he made have tried to do too much but what a legacy he left in just a short time. Not many people get to do what he did and I personally want to bring his achievements to this site. Please explore this great man in Australian politics. Few get the chance to make their mark…he did. Vale Gough […]
I think I’m done with people. I wish they’d at least give me a chance to die without having to suffer with this melancholic mind of mine, but people never fail to disappoint. A peaceful escape is just too much to ask for. I have no friends outside of the family, only feeling okay with my mother and brother. Each day, I feel like I am drifting further apart from them as well. I’m losing interest in talking to people as there is nothing to say. My connections are based on nothing more than materialism. People just can’t connect with me emotionally, philosophically, etc., or […]