I’ve been dealing with depression since I was 14, and I suppose the reason I didn’t was because of my dog, and my grandparents. I now live with my grandparents, have been for over 3 years now, and I honestly feel stuck. Like I’m not getting anywhere in my life. I feel like I’m honestly a failure, because I don’t really very hard in college, and every relationship I’ve been really serious about has failed.. I understand things are hard when it’s long distance but all I’m asking is for someone to try.. Not give up when the first bump comes along.. and when it […]
Tag:
trying
I hate it when people say, “It gets better”
Like how the fuck do you know? What if it doesn’t get better. What if I just continue to fail miserably? What if everything just gets worse? Was worth waiting around? Was it worth trying so hard every day, to just fall flat again?
I don’t think I’m willing to keep following the cycle.
it always ends with me hurting myself I have gone weeks with out cutting myself but it always comes back I hate myself I try to do good things for myself go to college classes and work I can’t pretend to be happy I can’t find anything to smile about I love whiskey try to drink a bottle a day i love drugs do them a lot anything to numb myself to forget about my shitty life and escape it for a short while my life is revolved around getting trashed and slashing my body up I get so down and depressed I don’t want […]
I am seriously considering suicide right now; the past week and a half truly. I know most people on here are suicidal but up until recently I’ve just been battling depression and self harm….. but now I could do it at any time….its a constant pro-con battle in my mind. I keep trying to reach out because i feel myself slipping away, but my effort is only met with rejection and bitter disappointment.
I know why I chose him, why I loved him so much more than myself. He was everything I wanted, because he was everything I wasn’t. Then I realized that I didn’t want to be like him and I didn’t want him anymore. I spent more than half my life trying to figure out a way to end it. Now that I am 24 and have been through things I still can’t believe I survived I appreciate life. I fear death and I hate myself every time I waste a second or a minute feeling negative or depressed because it’s a minute of my life […]
I don’t necessarily know why I’m here. I guess I’ll just say that I keep thinking about killing myself. My stress is through the roof. Everything in my life is crashing down. I feel like I am making everyone miserable despite the fact that I am trying my best to be my best for them. The only reason I couldn’t ever kill myself is because of my mother and my brother. It would hurt them tons. I don’t know how much longer that will be enough or if I’m just some weak human being who can’t handle things that aren’t to her favor. I just […]
I got a story. I can’t promise it’s a good one though
So I have a girlfriend and we’ve been together for about 2 1/2 years. She just recently got diagnosed with depression. And although I am trying my best to make her life easier, it feels like I’m not really doing enough.
We’re both just college students living with our parents so I can’t be there for her all the time, which really sucks cause when she does need me I can’t really be sure I’ll be there.
Any tips on how to help her would be greatly appreciated
Thanks SP
Waking up everyday feeling that you’re worthless, not knowing what to do with your life. I constantly think about the meaning of it all, yet I always come up with a blank. Living day after day without anything to hold on to. I have a couple of friends that I hang out with sometimes or go to events, but I don’t know how to make real connections, because I’m socially awkward. I keep telling myself “Just try to be friendly, do your best, you will improve, you will meet new people, everything will get better” But it doesn’t. It just gets worse and just thinking […]
I have to get out of this state. I need a fresh start. I need something new. Something stable. I want to find love again and I’m not going to find that if I’m misserable. I need to love myself before I can love anyone else and I’m trying so hard to make that happen. I Have to find a way to support myself before I can leave. That’s the fun part. Right? Wrong. Getting a job in a new state isn’t easy. But I have to. I need this. Am I wrong for moving so far away from my mom after all she’s done […]
Minutes feel like hours days feel like years.Can’t get these fleeting thoughts of misery out of my head.I’m nearing the end I can feel it.I climb the 8 floors of an open parking garage multiple times a week trying to gather the courage to toss myself over the edge and end all the torment that I feel inside .I can’t get any peace no matter what I do I end up feeling so alone so sad so empty .I failed there’s nothing else to do nothing else to say.
There’s no point. Go inpatient, I fail a course capstone project. Go inpatient, I am still nothing when I get out. Stay out, I will find a way. I will make the impossible possible. I do not want anymore pain and loneliness. Stop trying to save me to make yourselves feel good. You’re making me miserable.
is it bad that since my best friend has been ‘stripped’ of the ability to talk to me by her parents and changed schools by her parents because of her boyfriend….which has caused me to stop telling people things and just pushing them away even though i know they care and are really trying to help?
I feel like they shouldn’t be dragged into this….into my sorrow and sadness since, year 11 its important they don’t need the stress its stressing enough.
Days are so lonely now without my best friend to talk to and it sometimes just feels good to ignore people and be alone but […]
So, the “he” from my last update said hi today. Yes, he is in prison & he’s not supposed to have contact with me or the family at all. But he told his mom to tell “the guys” that he said hi. From now on, I shall refer to “him” as James. Of course, for the sake of privacy for both him & his family, that is not his actual name.
Anyways, that one small word made me fucking melt in both good & bad ways. When my mother walked upstairs to inform me of his greeting, my heart just fucking stopped. Every little memory […]
Maybe I should just stop trying. Maybe I should just stop living.
I’m tired, and I’m not important to anyone. Maybe it’s time to go.
It totally sucks balls i have entities and voices trying to guide me through suicide. They suck arse.. The only way im going to do it is when i save up for a car and **s myself. Voices suck just stay away from drugs. Cant wait to end myself i wouldnt wish schizophrenia on my worst enemy i so fukin wouldnt. Almost ade os amigos. Cant reason with them side effects of mental illness and drugs is sleep lots and cant focus. Its almost over rover and expect no one to post because i cant contain this shit cant wait until my time comes
what is irony? irony is one’s credit union trying to sell life insurance to an imminently suicidal person!
This world is boring , boring world . why movies, games, anime/manga, fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
by niki
written by niki
I hate this world .
This world is so boring , boring world !
Why movies , games , anime / manga, & fantasy / imagination is better than this world / better than life / real life / real world / reality ?
everyday life is the same : wake up, eat, go to school/work, boring, then go back home, eat, then sleep, then repeat again.
but movie / game / anime / manga / comics / books are much more exciting & interesting than this boring life !
for example: like in the world / universe of Harry Potter, Avatar, Lord of the Rings, […]
I have become increasingly withdrawn from people in the last few months and in doing so I have improved my physical health and acquired new hobbies of reading and piano, which I neglected for a long time. I’m in college now, but I was wrapped up in a materialistic/superficial mindset ever since middle school and I feel like I’m just starting to get to know myself again. So I feel good about these growing aspects of myself but am constantly plagued by guilt of questioning whether I’m an “evil” or bad person…I know these can be symptoms of depression. I don’t feel that I can […]
I don’t understand why sometimes I wake up feeling ok and other times I wake up and I don’t want to get out of bed…I sleep for 10 hours and still feel tired. I no longer get joy out of my appearance. I hide it as much as can because my boyfriend puts up with so much, with my panic attacks and anxiety. We try to rate how much I hate myself daily on a scale of 1-10. I live in fear of when he will leave me, because who could love an empty shell. I don’t understand why he hasn’t left me, I have […]
It’s 12:57am and depression just hit me again. I just wanted to write here cause i have no one to talk to. I just want to feel okay. Im glad I found this site, this is my second post. This is where i let it all out, write what i feel, but there is still something i cant express. So im trying to write more. I dont know if someone cares, but i do this to help myself.
I was at the mall with my boyfriend this afternoon. I was happy that time. I couldnt ask for more. But i’ve just found out that his ex […]