Tag:

trying

Feeling unwelcome and scared

by Trying2stayhere 4/9/2016

written by Trying2stayhere

I’ve dabbled at looking at posts on this site before. I have to say there is a lot of strength and a lot of pain by those that post. I don’t particularily know why I’m posting this, I guess I just need to tell someone with an outside opinion.

I’m a Marine veteran who has done two deployments to Afghanistan. I’ve seen some things and done things that will haunt me until I die and the people I try to reach out to never fully understand it. I’ve been out of active duty for over a year now and all I feel is regret. […]

4/9/2016 10 comments

A Short Introduction and Jenga

by Blindfolded But Claims She Can See the Stars 4/9/2016

written by Blindfolded But Claims She Can See the Stars

Hello, I’m Ruana. Just felt I should at least give that for a short introduction since I’m a new ‘un. Hello, I hope to learn something about myself, help others (my greatest hope for however long I stay), and perhaps get a little better myself. A week or two ago I started crying when I texted a friend of mine, “I’ll get better, okay?” I want to add that I felt my words weren’t good enough to be here or right enough or something enough, but well, here I am. Nice to meet you.

Now to the topic of my title, or well the more intriguing […]

4/9/2016 2 comments

Depression is a *****

by Sui the Bunny 4/9/2016

written by Sui the Bunny

The demons are trying to fight their way to bring me down and for once I’m actually fighting them back 🙂

4/9/2016 4 comments

My last day

by sugarfreeheartless 4/9/2016

written by sugarfreeheartless

This Sunday is gonna be it. I can’t keep waking up in a panic and acting out of control.
I’ll be trying the exit bag with helium.
Failing that, well, I am buying a bunch of scalpels. Maybe I can just land on them? I’d have to rig them to stand up, and I’d have to land with my neck outstretched. Sounds like a big botch job waiting to happen. I don’t think I can actually handle the pain of slitting my own throat, even with some Orajel rubbed on the skin.

4/9/2016 7 comments

Half and Half

by jmc22 4/9/2016

written by jmc22

Sometimes I just want to yell at everyone about all the things that they’re doing wrong. I want to throw tables and punch everyone.

But I also want to ignore everyone and just not care.

I want to tell my feelings to someone because hopefully they’ll understand.

But i know that once I tell someone my feelings i’ll just beat myself over it because no one ever does understand what I’m going through. I don’t even understand it.

Even on this website there are people who criticize me. I’m not trying to be a downer, but when I come to this website I’m just looking for an escape. It […]

4/9/2016 3 comments

Helpless Kat

by LostKat 4/8/2016

written by LostKat

I, Kat, am ultimately helpless.

Ive been trying so hard lately to help others not feel as sad as i do, but i always end up feeling worse regardless. Theres just too much wrong in my life right now, i feel so trapped. Everything keeps going wrong for me lately. Plans, friendships, school. It doesn’t matter it all ends up the same. Horrible.

I feel like I’ve been in another persons body for too long. I cant even tell who i am anymore. I have to get out of this haze soon. It’ll be the end of me.

4/8/2016 6 comments

Just can’t “life”

by blank-clutter 4/7/2016

written by blank-clutter

I don’t think I’m able to do this thing called life. There is so many aspects of it that I’m either soooo bad at or I can’t do it. From connecting to people to trying to accomplish the simplest things.

Why can’t I just be normal?

4/7/2016 1 comment

The Reason Why I Get Depressed Over My Ex

by claritee 4/7/2016

written by claritee

I just have to tell someone this to get it out of my system. Lately I’ve been trying to work on myself. My life has been chaotic recently and lately I’ve been trying to take care of the chaos and I’m finally feeling a little bit better. When I used to have stress in my life I would turn to my ex to just distract myself from my life. Without him as a crutch I was feeling like I was going to lose my dam mind and like I couldn’t get a handle on anything. Me not being able to deal with stress without him […]

4/7/2016 1 comment

Why

by kupo95 4/3/2016

written by kupo95

Why are you’s trying to hurt me ?

Make me bleed , make me crazy.

Why make me feel useless ,worthless make me grovel?

Why hold me down and destroy me take my life away , break me ?

Just let me go stop hurting me please I can’t take it anymore .

Anything I had ,you belittled made it crap, shitty, garbage.

I trusted you all stop hurting me.

Why make feel so wothless?

Why do you’s want me this way?

What do you get a crushed hopeless girl?

I was chiped […]

4/3/2016 61 comments

Frustrated.

by evildandelions 4/3/2016

written by evildandelions

These are all the (non-medication) “treatments” I’ve been told will help me feel less depressed in the last decade:

Exercise. Okay, yes, exercise is good for everyone. But I became depressed when I was running 15 miles a week and I’ve never seen any difference in my depression from periods of time where I was exercising regularly or wasn’t. I believe it can help with anxiety, at least to an extent, but I personally haven’t felt any effect yet. This is something I’ll continue to do regardless (I would like to run a 5k again), and maybe over a longer period of time I’ll notice a […]

4/3/2016 4 comments

i fucked up

by vieve 4/3/2016

written by vieve

oh lord, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore

I got way too drunk last night because I haven’t been able to eat anything all week. Only had a few drinks but I was still stumbling

party hopped across the city, ended up a drunk crying mascara and nose running whimpering mess in my (extremely recently) ex boyfriend’s roommates room with amazing and way too nice friends holding me. broke down because I found out he had taken a girl home last night even though we broke up less than a week ago (1.5 year relationship, pretty long time for a 21 year old)

took my friend home, […]

4/3/2016 6 comments

Protected: Learning to Alight

by whiskered-fish 4/2/2016

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

4/2/2016 16 comments

Tired

by MidnightGlade 4/1/2016

written by MidnightGlade

I feel very tired. I’ve been trying a lot of things to change , but I think I can’t do it on my own, and well, my “friends” aren’t really talking to me and I don’t know why. And my parents are busy all the time. Nobody I know is there for me. I can’t let that bring me down, but somehow it is.

4/1/2016 7 comments

I don’t know…

by Shenanigans 4/1/2016

written by Shenanigans

I’m not really sure why I’m here really? I don’t feel like sharing my problems will help anymore. I’m passed trying to be positive. Trying to be helpful and trying to do for everyone else. It sickens me to even be on here typing all this. I’m tired. Real tired. I just don’t know where else to turn.
Sorry I took up your time.

4/1/2016 4 comments

people here irritate me

by rayonhousefly 3/31/2016

written by rayonhousefly

So I can often relate, I have and continue to struggle with multiple mood disorders and suicidal thoughts/tendencies. What really irritates me, even though I understand, is the constant barrage of teeny boppers who always say the same thing: This is just how life is, this is how it will always be, and theres nothing I can do to change it. I understand the feeling of helplessness very well, I just wish they could understand that all they are doing by surrendering unconditionally to their situation is admitting defeat. Once you stop fighting, the battle may as well be lost. As long as you are […]

3/31/2016 8 comments

I’m just trying to calm myself.

by xx 3/31/2016

written by xx

I can’t stop crying and I can’t sleep.

Strangely, I’m scared that I may have a panic attack. I read somewhere about the low-grade ones where your heart races and you’re scared and your mind turns blank… but now I can’t seem to find information about this.

I’m at such a loss. I don’t know what to do. I feel so scared.

I took a lot of sleep aids again tonight, even though I told myself I wouldn’t. I can’t stop hurting myself.

I think this is probably withdrawal, but looking at the way things have been going so far this year, I’m almost positive that these pills aren’t […]

3/31/2016 5 comments

I’m Done

by JiminyCrispies 3/30/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

I feel so lost inside myself. Everything hurts. My emotions hurt. They’re so intense to the point where it’s hurting me to feel anything. I can’t breathe. I hate it. I’m not in control of myself properly anymore. I have to listen to the voices now. I haven’t been to college all week because they said it’s not safe. I left the house for the first time in days today because it hasn’t been safe. I’m so afraid of everything all of the time. And I hate it. I hate living like this. I hate myself. I can’t cope with it all anymore. I don’t […]

3/30/2016 2 comments

by Drowning 3/30/2016

written by Drowning

When dose the pain end drowning in thoughts going to sleep praying by some miracle you don’t wake up and waking up trying to find a good enough reason to live but you can find anyone iv just had enough what’s the point why am I fighting so much to live if I’m just live to die so unhappy what do u do when your life is a mess and all u think about is death how can u live this way

3/30/2016 7 comments

Just more ramblings of a depressed and hysterical suicidal girl

by sherlame 3/29/2016

written by sherlame

Do I have to spend my life trying to try? Trying to fix things? No. Wrong question. But yes, being alive is being hopeful. Hopeful? Even though life eats you up all the way from the inside before it even begins to show on the outside. I’m talking about the scars you have from letting blood, because that makes sense; you cut yourself and blood escapes the crease that separates what binds the skin together.

Nor the bags under your eyes caused from endless sleepless nights or disturbed sleep caused by misread and confounding dreams that make you want to avoid sleep, one of the only […]

3/29/2016 2 comments

Job searching is hell.

by dividebyzero 3/29/2016

written by dividebyzero

Searching for jobs is basically a combination of a lot of the things I hate most about life. Being rejected over and over. Being judged constantly. Fighting social phobia to contact people you haven’t seen or talked to in years, asking for introductions to other strangers. Trying to fake a smile and fake a sense of confidence, particularly after having been rejected over and over. Reading job descriptions and feeling more and more depressed at all of the desired qualifications and experience I don’t have. Sending resumes out into what feels like a yawning void.

Ironically, I’ve had a few people contacting me about job openings that […]

3/29/2016 2 comments

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