“SHIT I DON’T KNOW!!” ..? Did anyone actually say those things? Regardless of whether they did say these two, are you creating in your own head what else you want them to say about you? Do you see that you are upset because you waste your time justifying yourself to others? Do you realize that justifying yourself is grounds for more ridicule? Do you realize the importance of self-worth? Do you know the difference between an egotist and an egoist? Will you find out that one is dependent on instant gratification and the other will demand that you become competent? Do you realize the importance […]
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upset
I have my best friend who had a crush on my other best friend. She just found out that he is dating his ex again and she’s hell upset. She suddenly decided that she’s lesbian and announced it in front of the whole class in my contact/homeroom. I don’t know if she’s joking or not, but I am currently confused about my sexuality. Help!
There’s a number of ways this post is going to go and things I want to talk about that I’ve been thinking about. But it’s all just going to be one giant rant in the end of how much I want to kill myself. First, I’ve been beginning to notice once you’re 21, your life is over. There’s such a big difference between each year until that age. “remember when we were 16 and we used to do that?” We’re 18 now. Those 2 years make the world, but whether you’re 30 or 35, there really is no difference. That being said, I feel I […]
I am so upset at a friend. I am upset with me more. I am estranged from another friend. We’ve had a long time conflict and she does not listen to me. I finally have cut ties- almost formally. I mean, we talked and she said one thing- no I won’t talk about it. Okay. I can’t accept it but what can I do? Nothing.
THIS is what my depression is. I am estranged from my mother and father. I live far away from everyone. I am tired. I want to GO! BUT…
But I don’t want to die feeling this. I don’t want my last feeling […]
Just some thoughts…. It makes me feel sad how I’m always there for someone else in there time of need , but when I need someone no one is ever there for me. It also frustrates me how I always ask my friends every single day how they are doing and making sure they are OK and most of my friends don’t even ask me if I’m OK. Even when I tell them I’m sad or upset or depressed, they don’t even acknowledge the fact that I am upset and could just use a friend. I’m tired of being there for others when no one […]
Read a children’s book called “The giving tree” and I realized how cynical I am. But honestly am I cynical?? The worst is reality is it not? Of course there are brief moments of selflessness and kindness in the world but those are hard to come by. The book angered me, it made me feel pity because I saw myself as the tree. This tree that gave absolutely everything it had to a person who could careless. Yet even in the end, after everything the tree was still stupidly happy. I’m fucked up in so many ways that sometimes I don’t know if I can […]
Please dont judge me for writing this. I need to get this shit out. You aren’t perfect either, so please dont judge me. Life is a cruel thing, self-hatred is all I am left with, living in a rural place with only snow for company and these terrible things. I can’t shut my perpetrator’s voice off. I can’t shut off the demons. God must really love me, yeah, to punish me so fucking hard. Tired of God. I missed the boat with housing years ago and now will be punished in hell forever b/c of it, forever hating myself, all I want to do is […]
I don’t really know how I feel.
I haven’t talked to my friends in a month or so, at first it was because I was kind of lazy and didn’t feel like talking, but as days passed I realized how little my “friends” care. I mean, did I really mean nothing to them? All the communication I had was with one of them because she replied to something I tweeted. I know they check my twitter all the time, so they know I have been feeling like shit and they don’t fucking care! I just don’t know if I’m angry, or upset, I don’t know. I […]
I don’t wanna do this anymore I can’t handle it anymore everyone trying to change me into a person I don’t wanna be and it upsets me to be hating myself everyday. Everyone thinks yeah she’s happy she’s smiling but they never ask me if I’m alright or see if I’m upset, why are people judged on the outter look I hate it people thinking they know me and thinking it don’t upset when it does. I hate that people judge me through. I just feel like everyone is against me even though I know their not, I can’t do this anymore I just don’t […]
I fell for my best friends ex. It’s not like I tried to. He was upset about the break up and I started trying to cheer him up. We clicked. Like we have so much in common it’s unbelievable. He is the sweetest guy I’ve met and I don’t know what to do. It’s not like I meant for this to happen. It kinda just did. She even still likes him. I feel like complete shit for all of this..
Sure, she looks like a bollywood model, but that’s not what I mean. She really cares about people. She volunteers at soup kitchens and organizes charity drives. Bad news stories involving people she doesn’t even know makes her get teary eyed. She spent a week losing sleep, tossing and turning because she was worried that I might be upset about something completely insignificant. She truly has a heart of gold.
I don’t have rose tinted glasses on. She’s a boy crazy lush like the rest of the women I know, but she doesn’t let it define her like so many others. She calls me a good […]
So around a year ago I was the worst I think I’ve ever been, I was covered in cuts, barely eating, throwing up everything I did eat and overdosing around 3 times a week. I lost my friends and my family were just ashamed of me. I was kicked out of college and lost my job. I attempted recovery for around 8 months after coming out of a short stay in hospital, but now, just as I thought it was all getting better, I can’t stop thinking about suicide. The only person I’ve ever truly loved decided it is possible to be totally 100% in […]
I don’t feel sad when I think about suicide lately. It just seems ok, good even. I am not upset anymore… Is that bad?
My life is a downtrodden groundhogs day.
I wake up every morning with a varying degree of hope and slowly pull myself out of bed. I turn on my computer, if it isn’t already on to charge my phone overnight, and my monitor then venture into the kitchen for a fresh cup of water. I like water. Fortunate I suppose, I know most people don’t. I could gladly skip juices and soft drinks for a steady supply of water. A fresh sip splashes my mind and cools my senses. Today isn’t so bad, I think to myself. If I’m hungry I’ll peer into the fridge and […]
My best friend well maybe friend thinks I’m crazy or looking for attention.I just want some help and I have no other friends really.Last night since we got in a fight about this(we fight a lot).after I got really upset and frustrated and kept looking up less painful ways to committ suicide.idk what to do I wanna kill myself so bad but at the same time I don’t cause there’s too many factors that come in to play and what if I go to hell???:(
I know there are a few people who would miss me for a time, but in all honesty I’m not really apart of any ones life enough to warrant prolonged grief, I can imagine what it would be like for a little while people would ask where I am and someone would say “he killed himself” and they’d say “that’s so horrible he seemed so nice” and then they would change topic because they realise that they didn’t really know me, so few seem to.
Not that long ago my friend’s girlfriend was going on about what good friends we were and how she had […]
i dont knkw what it is, from the age of 12 my whole life changed ive never liked myself. i have just split up with my boyfriend today. we was together for 2 years, wenr through alot together he made me feel wanted and loved, made me feel like there was actually good things to me. i thought everything was fine, we talked about having a baby, getting married how much we loved each other. we went on a mini break to devon to just be together without any one else, without work just to spend time together. i was happy.. he told me today […]
It’s been a long time coming and many failed attempts are piled up amidst the endlessly towering walls I’ve built up. Not everything I do fails. Not everyone I meet I make unhappy. But enough do that it might as well be everyone and everything.
I don’t want to hold on. I do so for others and fuck, I have tried. I moved, moved again, got a new job, adjusted meds, started therapy. The thoughts– fantasies, perhaps- of my demise never find a chance to subside.
I’ve been depressed since I was 10. Abusive and oppressive household and general faulty wiring to blame. This turned into severe […]
Hello everybody. I really hate alot of things about myself. I am also sick with social anxiety and clinical depression. I recently discovered that I’m transsexual. I’m an 18 year old attending college to get a mechanical engineering degree. I feel like if I transition I’m going to destroy everything I worked for because I heard that workplaces just hate hiring transgender people. I also feel like if I transition I’m going to end up still looking manly due to being fat, acne ridden and hairy. I am also half black and from what I researched and understand black male to female transgender people don’t […]
I started cutting a little bit back in March. I had never done it before then. I was panicking, crying and really upset and angry with my family. I didn’t know how to calm myself down and then i just picked up a pin and started poking at my wrists. Eventually I bled a little bit and it freaked me out. I did this twice in the spring. Then I was doing better but tonight I got really upset again and jealous of my younger sister. I got really mad and felt really helpless. I didn’t know how to handle myself again and grabbed the […]