I haven’t been on here for a long time because I really needed sometime to think. Thank you for all your comments they were very inspiring and helpful. It seems like everyone on here could be my family even if my family doesn’t want me, I see that. But now I have something popping up and I don’t know how to deal with it. I have had abusive boyfriends, cheating boyfriends, ‘use and go’ boyfriends, and just to sum it all up ‘BAD BOYFRIENDS’. It’s my fault for having boyfriends at a young age, but that is what i turned to for comfort, boys. I […]
Tag:
Virginity
Emotional vent.. Sorry I just went on and on, and its pretty much scattered.
I’ve lived a fucked up life since I was young, my parent’s always fought and never got along. I once touched them both at the same time when I was 17.. When I was just 8 my dad met my step mom, the worst thing to ever happen to me. For the next 4 years I was abused excessively.. I was so young I didn’t know what to do, I was too afraid to admit what was happening. It sucked so badly for everyone around you, who cared, to know what was […]
My name is Lyndsay & this is my experience in hell on earth.
I’m 20 years old, female, college student.
The craziest year of my life started August of 2011… Right around my birthday…. It seems like my birthday is a celebration of the worst times in my life. It’s like oh joy but not why you might think.
I was attending college and living at home with my mom and little brother. I had known that my mom had an addiction to pills all of my childhood. This has caused more problems than you can imagine (example seeing her go through withdraws and throwing […]
My brother died when i was 9. Withing a course of 4 years, 10 more family members died.
I was diagnosed with manic depression and anorexia at the age of 12.
I use to be a major self harmer.
I am proud to say it has been over one month. <3
At the age of 13, i fell in love, and lost my virginity to a boy who i thought would never leave.. 4 days later he left. I wanted to die.
He called me a slut, easy, whore, ****, insecure, ugly, disgusting, fat.
I have forever thought of myself as these things, since he has said them because at one […]
hello, Â I’ve been sad for quite some time, I’ve attempted to commit so many times, so many different ways. Here’s alittle bit of my background, I was inlove, I had friends, I had a good job. Everything is gone, I’m not happy anymore, life has manage to take everything away from me. Did I cause this? was it my fault that everyone is gone? For the past week I have been researching on different ways to commit, I came across this website and here I am, making my first post.
I think I felt inlove with my eyes close. I knew it was true love, I […]
Warning: rant from top of my head. Might randomly skip to from topic to topic.
When I was in eight grade, I thought I knew what long lasting pain and depression were. I had grown up in a “broken” home, I was bullied, I had been cheated on and my brother nearly died from a suicide attempt. I can remember sitting next to his bed and even after I found out he was going to survive, I kept thinking things couldn’t get worse than that. Since then (3 or so years ago), I have been in a abusive relationship, cheated on again lost a friend who […]
I’m 13. My Life Started Spiraling Downhill When I Was In Elemetery School.
5th Grade, I Kept Getting In Trouble In School. 6th Grade I Was Arrested For Running Away, For Vandalism, For Asulting An Officer Of The Law. My Parents Divorced. I Started Smoking, I Was Hanging Around The Wrong Crowd. My Life Was Shit. 7th Grade The Coustidy Battle Came Along, Week To Week With My Father I Never Knew And My Amazing Mother. My Dad Started Getting Abusive, So I Refused To Go Over There. Costidy Battle Again, Only Every Other Weekend Now With Ol’ Daddy Dearest. Still Smoking, Still Getting In […]
All my life no one has really had high hopes for me. No one has ever motivated me into doing anything. Only my oldest sister has went to college and she still can’t find a job. My mom tells me there is no point in going to college in today’s time. Â Me I don’t care what my future holds. There is no future only a present. I get pissed off when I get treated like shit cause I have worked my ass off in school without ANY motivation to keep me going. I have done it all on my own. I decide always to work […]
The frigerator full of coke
The shelf full of rum
I go to bed and in my head,
I just know he’s going to come.
For my dear old Dad, has made me sad,
By playing house with me,
And you can bet, I can’t forget,
All the things he’s done to me.
For he’s robbed me of my purity,
And he’s stripped me of my pride,
He took from me my virginity,
And he ruined me inside.
It makes no sense my innocence,
Was forced to take a tragic fall.
I don’t know why but I know that I,
Have become my daddy’s doll.
I’m so confused for I’ve been abused,
And I don’t think he will stop.
It sounds absurd but […]
I have a friend.
Well, yeah, I guess you could call her a friend. Her name is Margie, or at least that is what I’ve always called her.
The first time I met her she was nice. I liked her. Even had a crush on her for a period of time.
She was my freshman homecoming date, but only as friends.
We went to a football game a few weeks after that. Her and two other friends of ours.
She smoked weed. But I didn’t know that until we were in the forest behind the bleachers with a group of people, passing around a bowl.
I think it was a bowl. […]
I’ve been waiting to die a horrific death ever since I was six. I would pray that during thunderstorms, I would be struck by lightning and go into a c0ma. I knew that my family was to poor to keep me in the coma and they would just let me die. It has never happened but I am very jealous of the people who get hit and survive. What a waste of a lightning strike. Every time I stepped into a car, I hoped a drunk driver would swerve directly into my side of the car leaving everyone unharmed but me. That’s why I refuse to wear a seat-belt, […]
Ever since before i was born almost 17 years ago has my family been fucked up.
I have such high expectaions to live up too, and YES this includes suicide.
My uncle killed my aunt, and then killed himself
My cousin committed suicide left a note for his family that read “I’m in the shed”
I have no fucking way out.
MY PARENTS think i’m okay, i’m really not.
Ever since high school started 3 years ago, i’ve been hiding the fact that i cry my self to sleep and that i wish to die. I’ve been close, so many times but i’m lucky to have such a friend to help […]
My brother is engaged, and last night his fiance came over to my house crying. She found proof that he was cheating on her and, once again, I was the one trying to comfort yet another person my brother had trampled over just because he could. She had said that she saved her virginity for when she knew she found “the one,” and she made the mistake of trusting my brother, and now she feels ashamed of it. And my mom, of course, was defending my brother saying that either he didn’t cheat or, if he did, it’s because he’s young and […]
i feel him crawling inside, crawling inside my mind and body
what is he trying to find, i feel so ugly
screaming inside no words leave my lips
no! no never! my body he grips
it doesn’t count if you don’t say it
im crying now, it hurts
i want to tell him “go eat shit”
but my mouth still speaks no words
he keeps trying to give me something,
but its something i dont want
he says that it dont mean a thing
and makes me taste my ****.
oh Jesus, God where is it now? wheres the blessed light?
im sure that i could maybe,so why dont i put up a fight?
so high, so drunk, so […]
i know that its almost feburary, but my past still really bothers me. i feel like noone can ever begin to understand, but its worth a shot. when i began high school i was confident and had many friends. no rumors were spread about me, everyone thought i was sweet and innocient and life was great. i always had a crush on a boy who was 2 years older then me but i was “together” with his friend. anyways, in 10th grade he bagan texting me. i was a tease and said some flirty things. when we finally hungout at my friends house i was […]
Im so hurt at the moment… I lost my virginity to a 24 year old guy I’ve only known a month. Im 18, I made a promise to myself I would wait til marriage to have sex. It was important to me, it meant something. I’ve been this good girl my whole life, I rarely date. I would never do something like that, but I did…. I would barely let a boyfriend kiss me. I guess for the past year I’ve been in a spiral downfall and depression. My mom all my brothers moved, and I was left in this town. I’m still in high […]
It feels like I’m living on a roller coaster and I keep getting stuck at the bottom. The past year has been the worst if my life. My parents almost splitting up, my boyfriend attempting suicide, my dad threatening suicide, one of my old friends taking her own life and me being blamed for it. There is no comparison for that type of pain, that agony. I didn’t cause this I had to tell myself just to drag myself out of bed in the morning. People I thought were friends turned their back on me. It hurt. Then another person close to me takes his […]
I was never considered pretty, never thought of as a beautiful young lady. Or a truely happy one for that matter. But everything changed when I met “him”. I can’t say he caused this aching dead feeling I have right now, because it was well before that it started, But he never helped. We went out for nearly 3 months. And I was really into him, I did most of my “firsts” with him. Including loosing my virginity, which people may consider I was a slag because I was only 12. But I loved him, and I thought he loved me. People will say “you don’t […]
Older Posts